Christmas is Around the Corner

This quite literally my favourite time of the year.

Not Easter, May 2-4, Mother's day, Canada Day or even my birthday.
But Christmas! oh its the Most Wonderful time of the year!

The tree is lit up, the garland is on the stairs and around the fireplace, presents are reeling in and waiting under the Christmas for the big day to open them all. The excitement of what everyone gets and the shared excitement when its a BIG surprise. On the flip side, I hate surprises. I don't like to be put on the spot...

December is also the most giving time of the year for me. For the past 5 years I have volunteered with friends to hand out turkey's through the local foodbank (Eden Foodbank Mississauga). I look forward to doing this for the people who come to pick up their turkeys. A voucher is sent in the mail to those who use the foodbank throughout the year - it is valid for 1 FREE turkey per household. Pick up location is always accessible, with plenty of parking if needed. This year it was on December 17th - one of the coldest weekends this year. All of us bundled up in layers upon layers, sipping tea and coffee.

 Every year, there are several people who appreciate this free turkey. There are several people who have a Christmas dinner at home because of this free turkey. This is what makes someone's Christmas every year. This is the reason I volunteer my time and recruit others to join me. We don't care how cold it is - raining or snowing or hail even...we show up. The families with vouchers depend on us to show up and help hand out the turkey's as they arrive. After such a giving time, my heart is always full more than anything.

All in the same day, we attended (my) first ballet ever - The Nutcracker. I was amazed by the costumes and the dancing! What a classic story told with such grace and talent. We got tickets in September when they announced the date and had a great view! It was quiet, respectful, and emotional. Ballet was never something I learned (more of a figure skater myself!) but always had a fascination for it.

My ultimate favourite story would be Swan Lake - which happens to be coming in the early summer next year! I can't wait to see how beautiful the costumes and dancing are in that show. I would like to bring Adriana with us then. It will be her first ballet - which she has always wanted to be a ballerina! I think it would be captivating enough for her to sit through quietly, especially when she knows the story line. It is months away to figure out the details....but definitely have to go see that!

I may not post until the New year - its the busiest time and I plan on enjoying every minute. I wish you and your families a Merry Christmas (Happy Holidays!) and a most Happiest New Year. Here is hoping for another great year ahead - Hello 2017! I'm ready for ya.

Next Steps to a Better Self

"You can't pour from an empty cup"

This saying is my parenting motto! I swear by it since I knew I was going to be a parent. It holds the truest of meanings everyday, especially on the super hard day. You know those days...when you literally want to give up, cry, and crawl in bed to hide under the covers. Those days you dont even turn on the TV as a distraction. The days you finally sit down at 9pm, only to pass out immediately from exhaustion. The days when you hold back tears at your desk because you are just (beyond) tired.

We all have those days (err..weeks) and we get down on our self. For what? Trying too much? Having to be both parents? Caring too much? Trying to give our kids the very best? Telling them every day how special they are? Turn some of those words of encouragement to you for a bit. Yes you! Dont ever give up just because it seems hard. Believe that God (yes him) would never give you something you couldn't handle.

There have been so many trying times over the years. One thing I remember is to take care of myself first so I can take care of Adriana. I constantly have these little blue eyes on me at all times. It was to the point that I used "Fake it, 'til ya make it" just so she wouldn't see how hard of a time I was actually having. It had nothing to do with her so I didnt put that thought in her head by being a blubbering mess around her. I would do what any hot mess mommy would do - I let it out in the shower!
I am not ashamed to admit that I put myself to bed at 9pm on a regular basis. This ensures I dont let my mind run away with unnecessary thoughts that keep me awake.

I need to be alert by 630(ish) to make breakfast for Adriana, get ready and take her to school. I go to work and survive on no caffeine too, which has been an amazing journey in itself (thats for another blog post!) In order to keep up with this almost 5yr old little girl, I have to take care of me.
There are nights I wake up for no reason, turn over, fall back to sleep. I know Adriana is safe with me. She is asleep in bed, not a noise from her. Peaceful. Quiet...oh the quiet! She is my muse. She reminds me to get dressed and show up every day. Be present even when you dont really want to. Distract yourself with work for awhile. There's no time for self pity - save that for when she goes to bed and you jump in the shower. Save that for the cup of tea you share with your friends while shes with her Dad. Save the self pity for any other time.
Instead show her how strong you are. That even when things dont work out, you carry on. When something makes you mad, you learn to accept it and move on. You cannot control someone else' decisions.

She will see how strong I am and do the same. She will remember how happy her Mommy is, not how miserable I looked. She will see me as an example and aim to be the same (or better). Monkey see - Monkey do. She is lucky enough to be surrounded by strong women (on both sides) and will fear nothing. I pity the fool who tries to tame her one day.

Get Back to Being Me

Its time to get back to being me!
I have always made a point to set the best example for Adriana as I can. Every minute of every day I have these two little blue eyes on me, watching my every move.
Every outfit, she wants.
Every hair style, she wants.
Every accessory, she wants.
Every. Damn. Thing. She wants.
Don't get me wrong - I completely melted earlier this year when she said "I want to be just like you, Mommy, when I grow up!" How could I not stop and pat myself on the back for that? I have obviously done something right all these years for her to say this out loud to me. No bribing required - it was genuine and I will take it.
It took me off guard because she had never said anything like that before. Also, just like most parents, you always have this slight (or large) insecurity about whether you're "doing it right". Well....there is NO right way! Everyone just wants to raise an actually caring, loving, well mannered child - then when it happens...BAM! It pulls at the heartstrings.
Am I the only one who is riding the emotional rollercoaster of Parenthood? I am really good at going with the flow but sometimes, Adriana knocks my socks off with her kind gestures or smartass one liners. Oh those one liners....get me every time!
In light of these memories, I must share (a little late!) Adriana's Halloween costume. She originally wanted to be a yellow Power Ranger. Well that wasn't happening since shes the most common size for costumes now. So off I went on a hunt to Walmart...by myself...in search of her Halloween costume. I found it stuck in the baby section (obviously misplaced) and as soon as I saw it, I knew that's it.
I introduce to you - my little Wonder Woman!

This is her Super Hero pose!

She was ecstatic to be a super hero. She was even more excited when I explained there was no "boy version" of Wonder woman. (Batman - Bat girl) After her day at school in her costume she was happy to see that no one else had the same one! We trick-or-treated just around our house. She confidently walked up to the doors and rang the doorbell. She loved seeing all the other kids out in their costumes as well. Late night to bed after checking out her stash of goodies but worth every minute to see Adriana in her glory!

It's been awhile...

Truthfully, I have tried to post many times over the years but I couldn't find the right words. Knowing you are going to be a Mommy is one thing - you know it will change your life forever, you know there will be challenges and even better times ahead. You never expect to be a single parent though.

There are challenges in life where you are tested by every pull in the universe. You hold on to what you have with every ounce of strength you have left. You refuse to just give up. You refuse to be beaten down. You refuse to accept what's really happening. You know there are things you just simply cannot control and that is the start of a new journey.
That moment when you accept the inevitable and start thinking of ways to rebuild around all of it - its that moment you feel the weight of everything start to lift off your shoulders. You find peace in life when you stop fighting (literally) with the inevitable.
It was never planned in any way shape or form that I would be doing this parenting thing this way. I don't think anyone actually wants to do it by themselves. It comes down to happiness - I was not happy and couldn't continue being that way just so Adriana can have both her parents together. She still has both of us and always will.
When I first wanted to be a Mommy, I was so confident in myself to do it with or without someone by my side. I never changed my thoughts or views on that and to this day I know I am a good Mommy despite the changes these last few years.
This is not a bashing to Dad's out there or a sob story. Its my personal feelings which I keep personal. Take this as an update.
One of my favourite poems is Footprints in the Sand. It holds such true meaning to me ever since I was a little kid in Elementary school. Its a reminder to always have faith in what will be even when you don't think you will make it. Know that there is always a God to help "carry" you along. This comes in many different forms: friends, family, animals, etc.

Happy Mother's Day

Do you feel tired? Over worked? Under appreciated? Alone? Don’t worry, your day is here – Mother’s day! It is one day a year to show your Mommy how much you appreciate them and everything they do. Usually its filed with flowers, cards, chocolates, a good breakfast and perhaps even sleeping in. If all of this or more sounds like the day you’ve had – consider yourself lucky!!

There are some unfortunate Mommies who aren’t as lucky as you and I. Nope. They have had a terrible day and even week leading up to this day. I swear….it’s true. Personally it makes me upset that not every Mommy feels special (even just for today). Could you imagine your significant other telling you that 

“You’re not MY mother, so why should I do something for you?” 

“I made plans with MY mother; you’ll have to figure out something else”

IMAGINE!! I would lose my freaking mind. Lose it.

For all those men out there that really do take the time to appreciate their child(ren)’s Mommy – Thank you. It is a day to show how much you appreciate her for all the things (big or little) she does for the family. For all the times the house “magically” was cleaned when you got home. Or the numerous amounts of times dinner was ready and hot at just the perfect time. How about all the times the child(ren) decided to draw up the walls in crayon while you napped? Yup. You’re welcome.

Mother’s day is for all the Daddies who may not have the time to stop and say thank you (of course they think it all the time!) or for those who do but want to do more for the Mother of their children. It’s hard work being a Mommy – the constant needing from a child with no breaks in sight until bed time. We like to be appreciated every day but today more than anything. Don’t forget to reach out to your wife and give her a hug and kiss. Tell her you love her. Say the actual words “Thank You” (it means so much to hear them!!) and then let her relax for the day.

(Late) Spring Cleaning Time

This year is off to a late start in regards to a lot of things. We were still getting snow in April for Christ sake! Regardless of how it happened - its now Spring Cleaning Month for my family. I have to start writing out my list instead of keeping it in my head all the time! The backyard is going to be the biggest project, I think. The amount of branches that have fallen from all the winter storms (thanks Mother Nature!) its absolutely disastrous back there. Throw in the size of it and we have our work cut out for us! Once the branches are gone then it will be easier - cut the grass, pick up the rest of the leaves, plant a garden, etc. Its still fairly cool outside which is better than doing all this work in the scorching heat!

I've been on the hunt for the perfect pool for Adriana. I'm still gun-ho on getting more than just a wading pool with 4inches of water but the boyfriend doesn't seen it as beneficial. Clearly we need to make more trips to Wal-Mart together! Adriana loves swimming and has a life jacket so if we did get a bigger one, she would get lots of use out of a bigger pool rather than a smaller one. Plus we could use it more too when its really hot out. A quick dip to cool us off. He fears the dog will put a hole in it.

   

Nothing crazy - this one is 12'x30" and has a cover you buy separately. This will help keep the leaves and sticks out when we're not using it. I think it will be worth every penny of the $170 price tag (plus cover). I have never had a pool (I've always lived near a public pool or had friends who had one) and I would like to keep encouraging Adriana to swim. She will start swimming lessons again in the Fall!

I cleaned out Adriana's room (2 garbage bags later) and now she has a decent size room again! Next tackle is her closet. I have to fish out what still fits her and what doesn't anymore so we can make room for some new stuff. She already has some shorts and t shirts to get her started. Thanks to her Gran she also has some sandals and water shoes too! Our storage was converted from a small third bedroom and I still don't have enough space to keep everything!! Time to make the trip to the Goodwill then or....hello friends?

I can't wait for the summer!! I have some sweet days planned for Adriana and I this year (and if Daddy can get the days off work too). As long as she has her naps - we're golden. I have a shopping trip planned, zoo trip, movie date, swimming and cottage trip so far. I enjoy traveling with her because shes a people watcher and enjoys being on the go. Typical toddler. I refuse to sit inside all summer, sometimes walking down to the park or feeding the ducks - those are good things for the Spring and Fall but not summer! I may even look into a camping trip....oh do I dare?

Adriana wants to learn how to fish but I'm not sure she has the patience to make it through a round of fishing! She would end up scaring all the fish away. The boyfriend wants to teach her and I say Good Luck to you sir! I love fishing, just never had much time to continue it when life happened. He can teach her while I do my own fishing. Pretty sure it was my dad who taught me how to fish - although I'm not very good at it lol

What plans do you have with your kids this summer?

Do you travel with them on road trips? To where?

How to take the Pacifier away?

This is the long dreaded question for parents usually after they're toddler hits 2 years old. By this time they have been comfortably gnawing on a plasticy rubber pacifier for some time - whether just at nap and bed time or all day long. Its been your go-to during those tantrums, fevers, colic, etc. just to get them to settle down. Now you're thinking its time to take the next big-kid step of losing the suckie....nummie, paci, sook, baba - whatever you call it. Have no fear fellow parents - I have compiled a list of ideas to do it smoothly!!

Last (long) weekend we made the big step to start taking it away. Adriana was really attached to it, but only at nap and bed time. She was always really good about it otherwise. We knew we had to be clever about it, taking it away cold turkey wasn't going to go lightly with her. We had to out smart a toddler. I know....crazy? Trust me!

A few suggests I found for losing the pacifier was to reward them with a gift in place of it. I didn't like this for Adriana as it was merely just a distraction from the cold turkey method. Adriana has a fantastic memory and although the gift would be ok for a day or two - she would definitely remember it after the hype settled on the new toy.

Another idea I found was to send it off to the "Pacifier Fairies" who would bring it to a new baby who needs it. This is a sweet idea especially if there's another baby on the way! However, Adriana would simply call herself the baby and keep it for herself. Pacifier Fairy - fail.

So what was I left to do?
Snip it.
 

Yes - that's right. I snipped the tip of the pacifier just a little at first and a little more the next day. Eventually, Adriana didn't want it anymore and I was able to throw them all in the garbage! The first night she pulled it back out and knew something changed but took it anyways. The second night she repeatedly kept telling the boyfriend it was broken and to fix it, but went to sleep anyways. The next night she asked to hold it and the same the following night.

On Tuesday, the boyfriend worked late so Mommy didn't even offer the pacifier to her....and she didn't ask for it. I simply put her to bed with her blankie and that was it. The next night was the same thing - that's when I through them all in the garbage! She had been going to daycare and napping without one as well. Adriana is almost 28mths old now and has no pacifier anymore :)

Operation Goodbye Suckie.....SUCCESS!!


How do you plan to take the pacifier away when its time?
What age do you think it ideal for removing?
Did you use the "Pacifier Fairy" method? How did it work?