What happens if we go to visit and its nothing what we expected?!
What if I can't find one in time?
What if there is a problem?
What if I can't handle leaving her with someone else?
Ideally, we would like her to be slowly adjusted to being left with a stranger. If we looked for a start date of March 1 and do a part time thing - a few days a week - working up to the full 5days, then I think it will be easier on Adriana...and us!
My mom did in home daycare when we were smaller and I remember some of the kids still to this day. Of course, with anything there were good kids and there were bad kids. What if Adriana picks up habits from the bad kids? ugghhh....I guess its a risk you take when you put your child in daycare. Adriana is not a child to be bullied - she doesn't let the boys push her around! I know she's a tough cookie but then again...what if SHEs the bad kid?! oh geez....this is all too much for me.
For the past few weeks I really haven't been feeling well. Literally dragging my butt to work and getting through a 9hr day took more effort than childbirth! I would be looking to go to bed at 830...not long after Adriana. I knew something wasn't right when I woke up with a swollen throat. I could barely eat, talk, swallow without it hurting. I managed to get through my day and went straight to the walk in clinic. I was told if it was a throat infection it would take a few days to get the results but it seems to be a swollen thyroid - great! The next day was even worse so I called my doctors to see if I could get in. Of course, she happened to be off that day! So I found myself sitting in the emergency room instead. After 6hrs, 2 doctors, and an xray, I was told the Thyroid testing isn't an emergency room procedure and I would have to see my family doctor.
I made an appointment for the next day to see my doctor and was sent for bloodwork and an ultrasound. A few days later, I was told I had to see the doctor and made an appointment. I knew something was wrong but wasn't sure what. I did some reading about the thyroid after pregnancy and I was thrown off since it mostly happens within a few months of giving birth - Its been over a year for me! So I went to the doctor and funny enough...I have whats called Thyroiditist (both hyper and hypo- thyroidism) A lot of what was happening to me made more sense now. I literally shed in clumps in the shower :( pale skin, tired, muscle soreness, etc. By no means am I doctor but I knew there was something going on.
It's actually quite common to have a thyroid problem after a baby. Your hormones are all over the place, trying to resume to a new normal, and that can take a toll on your body. I have definitely noticed the change in me. I tear up more when a sad thing happens; seriously I ball my eyes out at the most stupid situations! I even had to take a break watching Teen Mom 2 because I would get upset lol Pathetic I know....
Anyways - I have been referred to a thyroid specialist and will have to go for more bloodwork in a few weeks to retest. They are hoping it will return to normal by then and its just from my body adjusting after the baby. Oh and to top it all off...my anemia is back with a bang! Apparently a normal woman should be at a level 9 for iron levels - I am at 4. Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Blah. It doesn't seem to be my consumption but rather the absorption of iron. So increase my Vitamin C intake and a bit more of iron. No big deal since I've been here before. The only time my anemia was under control was when I was pregnant! hhmmm.........
My boyfriend has been home all winter with Adriana. Lucky guy. Although, he has had to deal with some things he was not used to. Early rises, nap times, lunch times, walks, more diaper changes, baby poop (gross he says!), teething, baths, etc. Its a lot of work and the poor guy was soo tired from it all by the time I got home. It wasn't just me trying to adjust back to working but him having to adjust to caring for the baby...by himself. I must say, he's done a great job! I mean that little girl just loves her daddy beyond anything!! She has expanded her eating, vocabulary, ability, strengths, etc. She is definitely on a learn curve (up course!) and I give praise to my boyfriend for it. He reads to her and talks to her while playing in her room. Most men would run away at the smell of poop - or call their Mother in Law to come change it (I'm looking at you Dad) but my boyfriend has sucked it up. I mean it will not be the first poop or the last one either!
My boyfriend even helps around the house when he can...dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc. which is really nice. I mean its an attempt to clean, not a spic and span kinda clean but I'm thankful anyways! At least a good attempt is there. More than what other men can say I'm sure. HighFive babe! You did good! Only a few more weeks and you'll be back to work where you babysit grown men instead lol kidding...sorta.
I look forward to the next challenges and surprises that come with having a child and starting a family. Its been exciting thus far and I hope to continue the excitement for a long time..... I love you baby girl!! xoxo
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