Friday, March 28, 2014

The Reality of Parenting

Lately, I have been reading some really interesting post about view from different sides of Motherhood. To be honesty, its completely entertaining to me! These posts are women, Mommies, justifying their life choices to the "other side" of parenthood. I saw one from the Stay at Home Mom to the Working Mom (and vice versa) but my favourite is one from a working mom to Gwenyth Paltrow....

You have to read this fellow Mommies (and even Daddies!)I'm not here to bash Gwen (although i'm offended by her comments) I just feel that her reference should have been more comparable. I completely appluad MacKenzie for her sarcasm, her narsicistic comments about what being a Mommy is really about when you have an office job, not a movie star. I love her over the top references to mother groups, of drinking bellinis, babysitters, and leisurely lifestyle - i LOLed.

I dont think I have ever laughed so hard when reading Scary Mommy's post of her shot of reality in Motherhood. She blantly tells you about her breaking point as a mother. We all have them....yes more than one and for several years! I can relate to some degree. I dont have nearly as many children as she does!! However I do let things bottle up and the smallest thing will set me off. I understand that becoming a parent means you signed up for the unknown things too, not just the good stuff. Yes there are times when I feel less appreciated, less special, less loved. Those are the days I simply tell myself - We will try again tomorrow.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies - although Adriana really a good kid...sometimes she lets her toddler show. You know the times they refuse to let anything go right - at all. Mornings for us consist of the same thing Monday thru Friday. Same time, same tv shows, same routine - yet every so often, Adriana decides to switch it up and fall out of routine. Its frustrating to keep her focused on getting ready (no you may not bring the BIGGEST toy to daycare...*insert tantrum here*) Shes usually really good but those days that dont work out just make my day worst from the get go. Imagine if I had 3 kids?? ....sorry Mom lol

I mention it time and time again...your kids pick up on your feelings. Keep them in check, stay calm, and keep over reactions at bay - save them for closed doors. I'm not saying dont show emotion around your kids - just choose wisely. After dinner tonight, my head was pounding.I simply held my forehead in my hand while Adriana finished her crackers. She asked if I was okay and I told her yeah my head just hurts. All she said was "I kiss it better Mommy?" melted my heart.....she believes a kiss makes everything better and shes partially right. Later she did kiss my head and tellme all better. Headache gone.

Our children are more observant than we realize sometimes. Pay more attention to why they do certain things and be aware of your own actions at the same time. You will see what I'm talking about. You will start to see the change in behaviours on both side. Maybe you will be able to create some more patience too!

What things do you do as a parent to help an emotional toddler

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Spring is Just Around the Corner

There comes a time when we all must give up our toys. I shamefully admit I have kept pretty much ever toy Adriana has ever had - up until now. In my defence she never really played with many until after 6mths and even then time was spent outside instead. She will definitely hold on to her books...we are creating a collection for her. Some of her toys we will keep for the next baby - common first toys anyways.

A few things she doesn't really play with anymore - MegaBlocks(or legos), Some dolls, rattles, play yard mats, etc. She has them all in bins but never pulls them out! So its time to get rid of them and by that I mean give to my Mommy friends! I would hate to throw them out and they're still in really good condition.

With Spring (hopefully) around the corner, we can pull out some of her other toys - new bike and her wagon! I am really thinking about setting up a swing set out back. I know we have a park down the street but it would be even easier if there was one in our backyard. Wal-Mart has them on sale but would require some clean up of the backyard first and full essembly. I think we should do it!!

This year we are going to fully utilize our backyard. Adriana is getting a pool for here and her own chair to lounge in the sun. With me working closer to home, it would be nice to be able to do more here instead of running around everywhere. We have he BBQ and patio sets - just need a clean up and we have a fire pit too!

Its nice to live close to things if we need them but to be honest i'd rather stay home and have fun with the boyfriend and Adriana. It will be easier for us too since potty training time is coming again. Last bottle has been dropped from the far 1 night and shes done well. I really can't wait! She has started to show interest again but  of course we don't want to push it. She really has a good sense of when she has to go pee and LOVES "big girl" underwear. Time will tell ;)

Friday, March 7, 2014

Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.
Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.
When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already.