(Late) Spring Cleaning Time

This year is off to a late start in regards to a lot of things. We were still getting snow in April for Christ sake! Regardless of how it happened - its now Spring Cleaning Month for my family. I have to start writing out my list instead of keeping it in my head all the time! The backyard is going to be the biggest project, I think. The amount of branches that have fallen from all the winter storms (thanks Mother Nature!) its absolutely disastrous back there. Throw in the size of it and we have our work cut out for us! Once the branches are gone then it will be easier - cut the grass, pick up the rest of the leaves, plant a garden, etc. Its still fairly cool outside which is better than doing all this work in the scorching heat!

I've been on the hunt for the perfect pool for Adriana. I'm still gun-ho on getting more than just a wading pool with 4inches of water but the boyfriend doesn't seen it as beneficial. Clearly we need to make more trips to Wal-Mart together! Adriana loves swimming and has a life jacket so if we did get a bigger one, she would get lots of use out of a bigger pool rather than a smaller one. Plus we could use it more too when its really hot out. A quick dip to cool us off. He fears the dog will put a hole in it.

   

Nothing crazy - this one is 12'x30" and has a cover you buy separately. This will help keep the leaves and sticks out when we're not using it. I think it will be worth every penny of the $170 price tag (plus cover). I have never had a pool (I've always lived near a public pool or had friends who had one) and I would like to keep encouraging Adriana to swim. She will start swimming lessons again in the Fall!

I cleaned out Adriana's room (2 garbage bags later) and now she has a decent size room again! Next tackle is her closet. I have to fish out what still fits her and what doesn't anymore so we can make room for some new stuff. She already has some shorts and t shirts to get her started. Thanks to her Gran she also has some sandals and water shoes too! Our storage was converted from a small third bedroom and I still don't have enough space to keep everything!! Time to make the trip to the Goodwill then or....hello friends?

I can't wait for the summer!! I have some sweet days planned for Adriana and I this year (and if Daddy can get the days off work too). As long as she has her naps - we're golden. I have a shopping trip planned, zoo trip, movie date, swimming and cottage trip so far. I enjoy traveling with her because shes a people watcher and enjoys being on the go. Typical toddler. I refuse to sit inside all summer, sometimes walking down to the park or feeding the ducks - those are good things for the Spring and Fall but not summer! I may even look into a camping trip....oh do I dare?

Adriana wants to learn how to fish but I'm not sure she has the patience to make it through a round of fishing! She would end up scaring all the fish away. The boyfriend wants to teach her and I say Good Luck to you sir! I love fishing, just never had much time to continue it when life happened. He can teach her while I do my own fishing. Pretty sure it was my dad who taught me how to fish - although I'm not very good at it lol

What plans do you have with your kids this summer?

Do you travel with them on road trips? To where?

How to take the Pacifier away?

This is the long dreaded question for parents usually after they're toddler hits 2 years old. By this time they have been comfortably gnawing on a plasticy rubber pacifier for some time - whether just at nap and bed time or all day long. Its been your go-to during those tantrums, fevers, colic, etc. just to get them to settle down. Now you're thinking its time to take the next big-kid step of losing the suckie....nummie, paci, sook, baba - whatever you call it. Have no fear fellow parents - I have compiled a list of ideas to do it smoothly!!

Last (long) weekend we made the big step to start taking it away. Adriana was really attached to it, but only at nap and bed time. She was always really good about it otherwise. We knew we had to be clever about it, taking it away cold turkey wasn't going to go lightly with her. We had to out smart a toddler. I know....crazy? Trust me!

A few suggests I found for losing the pacifier was to reward them with a gift in place of it. I didn't like this for Adriana as it was merely just a distraction from the cold turkey method. Adriana has a fantastic memory and although the gift would be ok for a day or two - she would definitely remember it after the hype settled on the new toy.

Another idea I found was to send it off to the "Pacifier Fairies" who would bring it to a new baby who needs it. This is a sweet idea especially if there's another baby on the way! However, Adriana would simply call herself the baby and keep it for herself. Pacifier Fairy - fail.

So what was I left to do?
Snip it.
 

Yes - that's right. I snipped the tip of the pacifier just a little at first and a little more the next day. Eventually, Adriana didn't want it anymore and I was able to throw them all in the garbage! The first night she pulled it back out and knew something changed but took it anyways. The second night she repeatedly kept telling the boyfriend it was broken and to fix it, but went to sleep anyways. The next night she asked to hold it and the same the following night.

On Tuesday, the boyfriend worked late so Mommy didn't even offer the pacifier to her....and she didn't ask for it. I simply put her to bed with her blankie and that was it. The next night was the same thing - that's when I through them all in the garbage! She had been going to daycare and napping without one as well. Adriana is almost 28mths old now and has no pacifier anymore :)

Operation Goodbye Suckie.....SUCCESS!!


How do you plan to take the pacifier away when its time?
What age do you think it ideal for removing?
Did you use the "Pacifier Fairy" method? How did it work?

Happy Easter

Adriana is quite possibly the luckiest little girl!! She was spoiled for Easter. She got some clothes, sandals, new coat and matching rubber boots from her Gran and Gradad. Then she got a Dora the Explorer life jacket, which is amazing!! Now we have to plan a few weekends to go up to the cottage with her. Adriana was lucky enough to get something not every kid gets. She had some birthday money left over and Easter money - with the help of Mommy and Daddy - she picked out her very first power wheel! A red Mini Cooper convertible...great taste ;)

 cruising down the street!

We celebrated with some family time and a wonderful dinner. Traditionally we would have "jigs dinner" but went completely different this year with a huge spiral ham, gourmet scalloped potatoes, asparagus,  grilled mushrooms and 2 salads. Everything was delicious!!

Easter for me growing up was about family time and of course chocolate. Adriana is entirely interested in chocolate (whos child is this?!...I love chocolate) but she did spend lots of time with family. She is the most happiest little girl when shes around those who love her - even when she hadnt had a nap all day!

This long weekend also marked the start of Operation Goodbye Suckie for us. So far its not too bad considering how attached she was. No tantrums...although its not entirely gone. We snipped the tip so she (hopefully) wont have the desire for it anymore. She is at the "I want to just hold it" stage. I constantly check on her; suckie is in her hand or beside her. Far from her mouth. Success? I think we still need some time but its working so far!

Next up....potty training!!

What activities did you plan for your little ones?

Do you give gifts or just chocolate?

What great gift did the Easter Bunny bring your children?

The Reality of Parenting

Lately, I have been reading some really interesting post about view from different sides of Motherhood. To be honesty, its completely entertaining to me! These posts are women, Mommies, justifying their life choices to the "other side" of parenthood. I saw one from the Stay at Home Mom to the Working Mom (and vice versa) but my favourite is one from a working mom to Gwenyth Paltrow....

You have to read this fellow Mommies (and even Daddies!)I'm not here to bash Gwen (although i'm offended by her comments) I just feel that her reference should have been more comparable. I completely appluad MacKenzie for her sarcasm, her narsicistic comments about what being a Mommy is really about when you have an office job, not a movie star. I love her over the top references to mother groups, of drinking bellinis, babysitters, and leisurely lifestyle - i LOLed.

I dont think I have ever laughed so hard when reading Scary Mommy's post of her shot of reality in Motherhood. She blantly tells you about her breaking point as a mother. We all have them....yes more than one and for several years! I can relate to some degree. I dont have nearly as many children as she does!! However I do let things bottle up and the smallest thing will set me off. I understand that becoming a parent means you signed up for the unknown things too, not just the good stuff. Yes there are times when I feel less appreciated, less special, less loved. Those are the days I simply tell myself - We will try again tomorrow.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies - although Adriana really a good kid...sometimes she lets her toddler show. You know the times they refuse to let anything go right - at all. Mornings for us consist of the same thing Monday thru Friday. Same time, same tv shows, same routine - yet every so often, Adriana decides to switch it up and fall out of routine. Its frustrating to keep her focused on getting ready (no you may not bring the BIGGEST toy to daycare...*insert tantrum here*) Shes usually really good but those days that dont work out just make my day worst from the get go. Imagine if I had 3 kids?? ....sorry Mom lol

I mention it time and time again...your kids pick up on your feelings. Keep them in check, stay calm, and keep over reactions at bay - save them for closed doors. I'm not saying dont show emotion around your kids - just choose wisely. After dinner tonight, my head was pounding.I simply held my forehead in my hand while Adriana finished her crackers. She asked if I was okay and I told her yeah my head just hurts. All she said was "I kiss it better Mommy?" melted my heart.....she believes a kiss makes everything better and shes partially right. Later she did kiss my head and tellme all better. Headache gone.

Our children are more observant than we realize sometimes. Pay more attention to why they do certain things and be aware of your own actions at the same time. You will see what I'm talking about. You will start to see the change in behaviours on both side. Maybe you will be able to create some more patience too!


What things do you do as a parent to help an emotional toddler

Spring is Just Around the Corner

There comes a time when we all must give up our toys. I shamefully admit I have kept pretty much ever toy Adriana has ever had - up until now. In my defence she never really played with many until after 6mths and even then time was spent outside instead. She will definitely hold on to her books...we are creating a collection for her. Some of her toys we will keep for the next baby - common first toys anyways.

A few things she doesn't really play with anymore - MegaBlocks(or legos), Some dolls, rattles, play yard mats, etc. She has them all in bins but never pulls them out! So its time to get rid of them and by that I mean give to my Mommy friends! I would hate to throw them out and they're still in really good condition.

With Spring (hopefully) around the corner, we can pull out some of her other toys - new bike and her wagon! I am really thinking about setting up a swing set out back. I know we have a park down the street but it would be even easier if there was one in our backyard. Wal-Mart has them on sale but would require some clean up of the backyard first and full essembly. I think we should do it!!

This year we are going to fully utilize our backyard. Adriana is getting a pool for here and her own chair to lounge in the sun. With me working closer to home, it would be nice to be able to do more here instead of running around everywhere. We have he BBQ and patio sets - just need a clean up and we have a fire pit too!

Its nice to live close to things if we need them but to be honest i'd rather stay home and have fun with the boyfriend and Adriana. It will be easier for us too since potty training time is coming again. Last bottle has been dropped from the routine....so far 1 night and shes done well. I really can't wait! She has started to show interest again but  of course we don't want to push it. She really has a good sense of when she has to go pee and LOVES "big girl" underwear. Time will tell ;)

Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.

Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.

When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already. 

Milestones for your Child

Have you ever wondered how your child is developing? After 18mths those doctor visits are spread out even more. Where do you turn to know your child is on the right track? This is where parents start to compare their child to their friend's little one or kids at daycare or even strangers! It can get really ugly after awhile. So tame that inner urge to compare and just do some research. Here are some guidelines I've found that may help you set your mind at ease.

If you truly have concerns about your little ones development, ask you doctor. You should know that although some child excel in development - others take their time. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with your child; it just means they're growing at their own pace. By the time they're in kindergarten, they all learn at the same pace anyways.

To be honest, focus on enjoying your child instead of worrying about where they stand with other children. Your little one will develop just fine - if later down the road you're still concerned then talk to the doctor about having your child tested. I read a great article about certain things a mother wants to teach her daughter (i'm on a hunt for a son list). The writer makes a personal list of things that she plans on teaching her daughter and checks them off as their done. Its in no particular order but made me laugh out loud!

Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine is a hilarious mother writing about her life as a stay at home mom.

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Toddler Nap Time Troubles

I swore myself to be the luckiest parent alive when Adriana was sleeping through the night after just 10days. Seriously, who else can say that? Not many I'm sure.

Lets face it....I think my luck has run out.

Adriana is starting her "terrible twos" already and part of that is refusing to nap. Do I dare assume my little one doesn't need a midday nap anymore? She's not even two yet! Although this is the third weekend in a row of no nap time. At daycare it seems to be mostly the same thing as well.

She doesn't normally give a hard time when we tell her its nap time. She's very willing to go lay in her bed but shortly after closing the door we can hear her playing with toys. This we don't mind because eventually she will fall asleep (we hope). She's into opening her door to come see what we're doing and that's when I simply take her hand and bring her back to her bed. I explain that she needs to have a nap in order to play longer later - this seems to understood for the most part.

This weekend is far worse than the last. I find myself losing patience in getting her to nap - I understand how important it is but she doesn't want to. So I reached out for some answers. I was sure that this can't be just MY child. The one who never ever had a sleep problem up to now. The child who was in a regular day bed at only 18mths old! No, this couldn't be.

I came across some suggestions although they were geared for older toddlers (closer to three years old) but doesn't hurt to try.

First, it was suggested to drop the whole "Nap Time" and call it "Quiet Time" instead. This is understood by giving your child a book or puzzle to have in their bed with the lights off and curtains drawn closed. Eventually, they might nod off on their own but will definitely have the calm down time they need to recharge. I love this idea! Its true....whenever I said nap time to Adriana she would refuse by saying "No nap Mommy". I tried to explain that she needed it but it seemed to make it worst! Definitely changing up my choice of words.

Second, if your little one is still having 2 naps but they're shorter in length every time - try switching to just one solid nap instead. Except to have a cranky baby for a few days while they adjust to a single nap time but they should sleep for a solid 2hrs during this time. I remember Adriana was NOT a happy camper and some nights went to bed a little earlier than normal while she adjusted. Within 1 week she was a happy camper again with a regular bed time 730-8pm and only one nap for 2hrs; sometimes a little longer!

The last suggestion I found was to settle your little one with a good lunch and a quiet movie that will hopefully make them pass out. Perhaps a movie they already saw so they wont force them self to stay awake through it all. Don't forget to give the whole movie experience by darkening the room and cuddling up on the couch or in their bed. We have movies on our tablet which is really easy for Adriana to hold comfortably. Its usually the same movie but she loves it and we don't mind letting her handle the tablet - she's pretty good at holding it steady!

Although, I don't think Adriana is entirely ready to not have a nap at all. I do believe she needs less of one - at least 30 to 45mins of quiet time. I hope this changes our routine for the better. I cannot stress how frustrating it is to get her to nap! I end up looking forward to getting her in bed at night and I feel its rushed instead of enjoyed like before.

I am thankful that our night time routine is bang on. Adriana sleeps from 8pm (give or take) until 7am (give or take) without waking up. Unless she has a cough, then I can hear wake up but quickly settle herself back to sleep. We were never the parents who ran to her every noise she made or even every cry. Of course we woke up but if it wasn't a concern (baby monitor was loud enough to hear everything) I would not go to her. To reassure myself - still do it to this day - before I go to bed every few nights, I will open her door just to see her sleeping. She's so peaceful and quiet - best sight after a long day.

I have been enjoying the amount of growing Adriana has done. It really has been a journey! I'm proud to say that I truly enjoy every moment of having a child. She is my world!
 

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

Work - Life Balance

At times almost every Mommy and Daddy feel like there is not enough hours in the day to get everything done. This pressure builds up and takes a toll on the body in different forms. Some symptoms for “over load” are:

Fatigue: You feel a lag in your day even after a solid 8hrs of sleep. This is usually the first sign of overload and can only get worst! Take a multi vitamin to help keep your iron levels up, along with Vitamin B – 2 essential vitamins to help with fatigue.

Sadness or feeling “Blue”: This is a common feeling from time to time – everyone gets “down” but if these feelings last for a few weeks seek a medical professional for help. This is a clear sign of depression and can easily be overlooked when there is no Work-Life balance. No amount of exercise, vitamins or vacation can make it disappear. That’s because depression is an illness, not a weakness and should be taken seriously.

Soreness/stiffness: This can be in a specific area (hands if you do a lot of lifting or your feet if you stand for long periods). If you work at a desk, consider evaluating your work station to ensure proper ergonomics are in place. It could be as simple as a different mouse pad for wrist support! Take the necessary steps for a healthier workspace. Ensure you stretch periodically. It is recommended that a person should get up and stretch once every hour to ensure proper blood circulation. I would suggest Basic Yoga for added benefits all around.

Headaches (tension): A common headache will last a few hours, however prolonged or reoccurring headaches are a clear sign of stress. These headaches are normally around the back of the head (crown or below) area. Sometimes they occur around the eye brow area as well – more so if you wear glasses. If you have a reoccurring headache for more than a few days – consider talking to your doctor to rule out other causes.

Lack of appetite *important*: The way we eat plays a huge factor in our moods, recovering, concentration, alertness, etc. If you feed your body high fatty foods you will feel sluggish and unmotivated. However, lots of veggies and fruits with good carbs and protein will help keep your energy levels up – consider keep healthy snacks around. Lack of appetite is something that a person may not pay attention to. You can set a reminder to stop and snack or have lunch in order to keep your mood up and focus on point. This can take some planning the night before – or keep healthy snacks in your desk. I usually like Rice crackers, granola bars, Pepperoni sticks (for protein), Small packets of candy for the sweet tooth. I try not to keep fruit at my desk because it goes bad! Substitute with what you can in order to keep fueling your body. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water!

As the demands for the workplace increase, it makes work-life balance more difficult. However, there is a solution to better time management. Consider building downtime into your schedule prior to the start of the work week. A midweek dinner out is a good way to relieve stress and unwind. Rethink the activities that take a considerable toll on your time and energy. Try to schedule a good chunk of time to making errands or splitting them up twice a week (Tuesday and Saturday). The importance of exercise cannot be stressed enough! We are not talking deadlifts for 30mins at 200lbs – think small like taking a walk to the store or coffee shop every night; Or wake up 30mins early to do basic yoga. Don’t forget to relax. Just sit down and breathe for a few moments. Take a long hot shower or read a good book with a  cup of tea (or glass of wine!). Make sure to take some time for yourself that doesn’t include any effort at all. My “Me time” activity is writing – it releases the load of thoughts I carry with me every day. By putting them to paper, it allows me to think through and clear my mind.

How do you create work-life balance?

How do you use your downtime?

Share your exercise ideas. No Gym Required.

What things do you do to release tension?

Fall is Officially Here

October is just around the corner this coming week! This is exciting for me because its my birthday. It is not a milestone year but another year indeed. I look forward to my birthday regardless of how many years it is - age really is just a number. I feel much younger most days! My birthday is a clear indication that the Fall Season is here.

The weather gets a little bit cooler, the days get shorter, Pumpkin Spice Lattes (haha!), sweaters and boots are out in full force. Fall is a beautiful season - probably my favourite. We have 3 huge beautiful trees in our backyard that I absolutely love to watch shed their leaves. When you're walking up our street these trees stick out just above the houses - just beautiful. I will definitely post pictures soon because most of the trees are starting to change already!

Adriana and I have started to leave the stroller at home again! She is really enjoying the walking everywhere thing and I want to encourage her to do it. She may go through phases so I will let it ride while its still going! Adriana loves being able to sit in the regular seats and not confined to her stroller. Big girl growing up!! We are fortunate to have a child who listens most of the time and understands the concept of the bus system. She is a people person so its actually entertaining on the bus with her. She tries to say "Hello Everybody" but it comes out as "Hello Buddy" Lol kills me every time.

This week is fairly low key - with the small exception of working on Adriana's Halloween costume! I am very excited to get started on my first ever homemade costume. Sorry folks but I won't be sharing what it will be until closer to Halloween! I promise to take lots of pics for those of you who wouldn't mind attempting it. I can't wait!! I promise its going to be worth the wait. It is not a typical girl costume :)

I promised myself last year that I wasn't going to wait until the last minute to start Christmas shopping. Yes I'm already putting the C-word out and its not even Halloween yet. C'mon give me some credit that I'm being proactive! I have a good storage area and will take advantage of buying a little at a time until the big day comes. Then I will only have to worry about wrapping and filling Adriana's stocking when December comes! Go me.

First Swimming Lesson and Pigtails

Last Sunday was Adriana's very first official swimming lesson. She's been swimming for some time but I figured it was a good idea to make it official. She's been doing amazing!! Seriously, she totally gets everything that we're doing in the class and today we were dunking babies. She still has to get used to going under water - with her mouth closed. She doesn't mind it but tends to keep her mouth open! Pool water = gross. She has been able to blow bubbles (her favourite!), kick, float on her back, jump off the side and go down the slide by herself. She absolutely loves going down the slide!! On Wednesday, I took her fun swimming and that's all she wanted to do for over 10mins straight. It was good practice considering there were only 6 other people in the pool. It was fun letting her swim around by herself - next time I will get her in a life jacket so she can be more independent. Can't wait!!

I know what you're thinking....melts my friggin heart!! This was my surprise when I picked her up from daycare this week. I have tried everything to get Adriana's hair under control without her ripping it out. Apparently, using the reason "surprise for mommy and daddy" works wonders! She let daycare put her hair in pigtails and kept them in all day. I honestly had a smile plastered to my face ALL THE WAY HOME! Even before I left we were taking pictures of her because I didn't think she would make it home with them - she did. She was proud to show me her new hair do too. Love her to bits and pieces! Definitely going to try this hair do again myself. I hope it stays for at least half the day!

 Adriana was so tired but I was able to convince her to take a pic with me in her new elephant pajamas. I love her willingness to please me even when she's tired!

 Adriana taking a walk in the rain with Mommy and Daddy on Saturday afternoon. She's not afraid to get a little wet! She absolutely loves my umbrella and most people are surprise she knows what it is! The best part of a rainy day is the way her curls become more prominent around her head. Its amazing!

I saved the BEST for last! Not sorry for the baby nude - seriously it was too cute not to take a pictures. Adriana loves to colour so I found her some bath crayons so she can colour more often now. She was writing all over the tub and all over the walls - I wasn't even mad! These things simply wipe off with a cloth. Also noticed that most of her drawing was with her left hand.....possibly like her Daddy and Grandad? Can't wait! Also, I'm not sure if I love her rolls or the amount of dimples all over her bum?!

We had our random Doctor visit this week for a simple check up. Adriana stands at 90cm tall, putting her in the 98th percentile and weights 29lbs, putting her in the 91st percentile. She's definitely going to be like her Daddy - beautiful and tall! Her learning ability is advanced according to the doctor and shes more than healthy. Nothing to worry about, Mommy! She had been slowing down with her eating and I wanted to make sure she wasn't losing weight......definitely not the case. It was 2 months ago that we last visited the doctor for her 18mth check up. Growing girl she is!!

Potty Training for Beginners

Adriana is at that age where she is very curious about the toilet. Not like "lets see how much toilet paper I can stuff in here" kinda way! She actually wants to use it. Up until a few weeks ago, she was the only kid at daycare who isn't potty trained (or being potty trained) and so she's been included in these trips to the bathroom. Her fascination has come home with her too. If I say "Mommy will be right back, I have to pee" she will take my hand and walk me to the bathroom. Since we have the same mechanics I let her stay in the bathroom with me. I talk her through things and then ask if she has to go as well. Of course she does. I strip her down so she doesn't get pee on her clothes and sit her on the toilet. Amazingly enough she goes!

Of course, a few times she tries but nothing happens. This is the reason we are not forcing it. We have bought her a seat (not a potty since she loves the toilet and its always convenient for her). The seat just sits on top the regular toilet seat but is smaller to hold up her little bummy. It's great to throw in a bag for visits at the grandparents house too! It was $12.88 at Walmart and of course covered in Disney Princesses. We let Adriana pick out her own seat. There was no intention of buying one just yet. We were actually looking for diapers and she pointed it out! Maybe a little later we can get her a potty :)

Our routine is simple right now until she can really tell me when she has to go. At daycare I know she tries a few times during the day - I will have to ask more questions about that. At home, we stick to after her shower. She has dinner, then her bath/shower and after we pat her dry we stick her on the toilet. Every night for a solid week she has gone 6 or the 7 times. Not bad.

We don't feel the need to push her into being potty trained. I was trained in one day and the boyfriend didn't need any training!! So with some good genes, I think she'll be okay for a little while. It is still fairly early to potty train - considering she still has a night time bottle.

Some ready signs to look for in your toddler are:

• "dry" periods that last 2hrs (or nap time)
• coordination to walk or even run
• ability to pull their pants up or down
• shows interest in other's bathroom habits
• has words for urine and stool
• can sit quietly for 2-5mins
• demonstrates the desire for indepence
• is in a cooperative stage - not cranky
• isn't resistant to learning how to use the toilet
• takes pride in his accomplishments

The average (suggested) age for potty training is 18-24mths, however, some parents chose to wait a bit longer. Note: boys may be ready a little later than girls. This is a big step in a toddler's life, so make sure they are prepared for it. Perhaps start with reading a book on going to the potty or a short movie about potty training. Get your toddler interested in the functions of the bathroom (specifically the toilet). Even if we don't pee, I let Adriana flush the toilet after a wipe. Its routine and she's not afraid of the flushing! She also remembers to put the lid down too.

A suggested method is a "Reward or Star Achievement", where the child gets a sticker when they go potty. I have not (and probably won't) use this method with Adriana. I make sure to give her enough praise when she goes. This includes lots of clapping, smiles, kisses and even hugs if necessary. I want her to realize that going potty is a normal thing - not a game.The stickers would just result in false hope for me that she's actually potty trained. We simply use praise!!

We are only in the beginning stages of potty training and by no means are we pushing it. She will do it when shes ready as long as she's prepared with the knowledge of How-to. I think we are on a great track with her and plan to keep doing it. My hope is by Christmas she will be full fledged potty trained. That may seem like a long time away - but it's really not!

And if all else fails, we can always just buy one of these.....

 

Share your potty stories with me! Comment below of email at info@hillsidemommy.com

When was your toddler ready?

What tricks did you use?

How long did it take?

What would you change about that method?

How to Introduce your Dog to a Baby

This is strictly my personal experience. I read many articles online, many books, and offered advice from friends/ family.

If you don't know yet - My boyfriend and I have had a Rottweiler named Tyson. He was 7yrs old by the time our daughter, Adriana was born and had never been around other babies. Ever. So we knew we had to work on this as soon as possible. After we found out I was pregnant, I started researching "How to introduce a dog to a newborn" and anything else that was similar to that. Call me crazy but I actually sat my dog down and gave him the "talk" about a new baby on his/her way. I actually talk to my dog a lot - he's a very loving animal, despite his intimidating breed - he was my baby boy.

I never ever pushed my dog away. In fact, I would encourage him to come lay his head on my belly in hopes the baby would kick him. She never did. I would lay with him for hours in the bed or on the couch, watching TV or reading a book. Every time I bought something for the baby, I would let him sniff it out and explain that it was for the baby. He was able to sniff out almost anything that was going to be hers. Blankets, clothes, diapers, teddy bears...whatever! This allowed Tyson to get used to the smell of the baby without the baby actually being there. We even set up the crib while he watched from the doorway. He sniffed that out too.

I always find this part of the story amazing....On my due date, my waters actually broke and I remember the night before very clearly. Tyson usually sleeps at the foot of the bed on the floor or in the living room. The night before he slept right beside me, on the floor. I actually stepped on him when I went to get up in the morning! He was so close that his head was under my nightstand and some of his back was under the frame of the bed. I thought it was weird because he doesn't usually lay there, but it wasn't until later when we went to the hospital that it all started to make sense. He knew.

When I got out of bed the first time and made my way to the bathroom, he was right outside the door waiting for me. Then I sat in the glider to relieve some back pain. He sat so close he was literally on my foot. I went back to the bathroom to run a shower and he sat on the floor until I was done. Then I went to lay back in bed and he returned to his spot right beside me on the floor. To this day, I am convinced he knew what was happening. He knew the baby was on her way and was trying to comfort me by being by my side the whole time I was at home. If that isn't dog love....then I don't know what is!

After the baby was born, my boyfriend took her original receiving blanket from the hospital and brought it home. He showed it to the dog and laid it on the table for him to sniff it out. Apparently, he did for a few minutes and then went to lay down. This was a good sign that he was used to the smell at least. My boyfriend went back late that night to keep Tyson company - we wanted to make sure he was calm when we brought the baby home. The next day, late morning, we walked through the door with our baby girl in her car seat. Inevitably, Tyson was excited to see me and very curious about this little tiny person wrapped in blankets. My boyfriend held Adriana, who was still strapped in her car seat, while I said hello to my baby boy. Once he had a few minutes of my time, he went straight over to the car seat. Sniffing like crazy, while she slept away. Then he slowly stuck out his tongue and gave her a soft lick on the face. No word of a lie - I had tears in my eyes. I think we were both relieved by his reaction towards her. Not a growl, not a huff, or anything...he loves her.

For the next few days, we were very careful with them together still. I mean, she was a newborn and he's a hundred pound dog! A few times while I held her wrapped in her blankets, Tyson was allowed on the bed while my boyfriend watched him. He was always very curious about her; wanted to be near her with everyone else. At night when she made a noise, he would be right by her crib whimpering because he couldn't see inside, couldn't see her. Very cute. He would give her soft licks on her face or her feet. He was gentle with her. Very different than what everyone thought would happen.

My parents have a long haired chihuahua, named Miko. Like Tyson, he is my mom's baby boy. He was NOT ready for the baby and even to this day has a hard time with her around. He literally runs and hides, especially since she started to crawl around. We try to hold him near her and let her pat him softly but it doesn't work. Miko literally shakes and claws to be away from her. Small dog syndrome?
My sister has a black lab puppy named Tango. She's a hyper dog but does well with Adriana considering she's still learning. Only one problem: Tango likes to lick - a lot. That's all fine and dandy except she does it in her ears. Could potentially be a problem if Adriana gets ear infections. Still, I give her credit for the fact she mostly ignores the baby - too busy running around with her toys, bone, or to get my sister's attention.

Best advice I can give is make sure you allow your pup as much time as possible to warm up to someone new being around. Make sure they can be gentle, have their tail tugged at, ears pulled, and paws touched. These are good starter points. Don't forget to introduce the smell of a baby, use the word "baby" a lot to associate her things.

"That's the Baby's crib"
"The baby is on the way"

Give your pooch some time. Be confident in them. and never, EVER, push them away when they try to get close to the baby. Include them in that time, a little bit at first and more as they deserve. Dogs just want attention and love from the same people as before the little bundle of joy came along. It's different for them - one day its just him and two people and then there's a baby. I was always confident in Tyson. I knew how loving he really is and how he would love her just the same. He very gentle with Adriana and she with him. It's crazy to see them play together - while sitting in her highchair, she'll stick her little hand out with some food on it and Tyson will lick it off. She even goes one step further and tries to play with his tongue! He is not bothered by it at all, he thinks its a game while he tries to lick her fingers. Not once getting frustrated. I love our rottweiler. He will be 8 years old in a few months and although he doesn't have much time left...I hope she really gets to play with him like we really want her to.