It's been awhile...

Truthfully, I have tried to post many times over the years but I couldn't find the right words. Knowing you are going to be a Mommy is one thing - you know it will change your life forever, you know there will be challenges and even better times ahead. You never expect to be a single parent though.

There are challenges in life where you are tested by every pull in the universe. You hold on to what you have with every ounce of strength you have left. You refuse to just give up. You refuse to be beaten down. You refuse to accept what's really happening. You know there are things you just simply cannot control and that is the start of a new journey.
That moment when you accept the inevitable and start thinking of ways to rebuild around all of it - its that moment you feel the weight of everything start to lift off your shoulders. You find peace in life when you stop fighting (literally) with the inevitable.
It was never planned in any way shape or form that I would be doing this parenting thing this way. I don't think anyone actually wants to do it by themselves. It comes down to happiness - I was not happy and couldn't continue being that way just so Adriana can have both her parents together. She still has both of us and always will.
When I first wanted to be a Mommy, I was so confident in myself to do it with or without someone by my side. I never changed my thoughts or views on that and to this day I know I am a good Mommy despite the changes these last few years.
This is not a bashing to Dad's out there or a sob story. Its my personal feelings which I keep personal. Take this as an update.
One of my favourite poems is Footprints in the Sand. It holds such true meaning to me ever since I was a little kid in Elementary school. Its a reminder to always have faith in what will be even when you don't think you will make it. Know that there is always a God to help "carry" you along. This comes in many different forms: friends, family, animals, etc.

How to take the Pacifier away?

This is the long dreaded question for parents usually after they're toddler hits 2 years old. By this time they have been comfortably gnawing on a plasticy rubber pacifier for some time - whether just at nap and bed time or all day long. Its been your go-to during those tantrums, fevers, colic, etc. just to get them to settle down. Now you're thinking its time to take the next big-kid step of losing the suckie....nummie, paci, sook, baba - whatever you call it. Have no fear fellow parents - I have compiled a list of ideas to do it smoothly!!

Last (long) weekend we made the big step to start taking it away. Adriana was really attached to it, but only at nap and bed time. She was always really good about it otherwise. We knew we had to be clever about it, taking it away cold turkey wasn't going to go lightly with her. We had to out smart a toddler. I know....crazy? Trust me!

A few suggests I found for losing the pacifier was to reward them with a gift in place of it. I didn't like this for Adriana as it was merely just a distraction from the cold turkey method. Adriana has a fantastic memory and although the gift would be ok for a day or two - she would definitely remember it after the hype settled on the new toy.

Another idea I found was to send it off to the "Pacifier Fairies" who would bring it to a new baby who needs it. This is a sweet idea especially if there's another baby on the way! However, Adriana would simply call herself the baby and keep it for herself. Pacifier Fairy - fail.

So what was I left to do?
Snip it.
 

Yes - that's right. I snipped the tip of the pacifier just a little at first and a little more the next day. Eventually, Adriana didn't want it anymore and I was able to throw them all in the garbage! The first night she pulled it back out and knew something changed but took it anyways. The second night she repeatedly kept telling the boyfriend it was broken and to fix it, but went to sleep anyways. The next night she asked to hold it and the same the following night.

On Tuesday, the boyfriend worked late so Mommy didn't even offer the pacifier to her....and she didn't ask for it. I simply put her to bed with her blankie and that was it. The next night was the same thing - that's when I through them all in the garbage! She had been going to daycare and napping without one as well. Adriana is almost 28mths old now and has no pacifier anymore :)

Operation Goodbye Suckie.....SUCCESS!!


How do you plan to take the pacifier away when its time?
What age do you think it ideal for removing?
Did you use the "Pacifier Fairy" method? How did it work?

Happy Easter

Adriana is quite possibly the luckiest little girl!! She was spoiled for Easter. She got some clothes, sandals, new coat and matching rubber boots from her Gran and Gradad. Then she got a Dora the Explorer life jacket, which is amazing!! Now we have to plan a few weekends to go up to the cottage with her. Adriana was lucky enough to get something not every kid gets. She had some birthday money left over and Easter money - with the help of Mommy and Daddy - she picked out her very first power wheel! A red Mini Cooper convertible...great taste ;)

 cruising down the street!

We celebrated with some family time and a wonderful dinner. Traditionally we would have "jigs dinner" but went completely different this year with a huge spiral ham, gourmet scalloped potatoes, asparagus,  grilled mushrooms and 2 salads. Everything was delicious!!

Easter for me growing up was about family time and of course chocolate. Adriana is entirely interested in chocolate (whos child is this?!...I love chocolate) but she did spend lots of time with family. She is the most happiest little girl when shes around those who love her - even when she hadnt had a nap all day!

This long weekend also marked the start of Operation Goodbye Suckie for us. So far its not too bad considering how attached she was. No tantrums...although its not entirely gone. We snipped the tip so she (hopefully) wont have the desire for it anymore. She is at the "I want to just hold it" stage. I constantly check on her; suckie is in her hand or beside her. Far from her mouth. Success? I think we still need some time but its working so far!

Next up....potty training!!

What activities did you plan for your little ones?

Do you give gifts or just chocolate?

What great gift did the Easter Bunny bring your children?

Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.

Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.

When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already. 

Top 10: Comments or Questions You Get When You're Pregnant

I was reminiscing about when I was pregnant and how wonderful it was....when I didn't have someone making absurd comments or inappropriate questions. If you've been pregnant (or currently) you know what I'm talking about. Perhaps, at times, those individuals didn't realize WHAT they were saying or asking. Maybe it was the WAY they said it? Regardless, we have all been there. I have compiled a list of my favourite ones. Some you may be able to relate to and others may be a one off.

1. "You look like you're ready to POP!".....when you're only just starting your third trimester. These people really do mean well, although they don't show it by this comment. Its basically on the list of Tradition Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman.

2. "You and your husband must be so excited" Umm....don't jump to conclusions people - 2014 and not everyone gets married before having kids. I can't tell you how many times people would be surprised when I said boyfriend. Which usually lead to "Is he the father?" People kill me.

3. "Was it planned or an....err...oops?" This question really makes me laugh. I mean it happens to some people but most people do plan for these things. I can predict when this one is coming too.....its usually after they say #2.

4. "What about your dog?" People, just because there's a baby coming home doesn't mean we have to get rid of our pets. We got this question A LOT because of Tyson - people just couldn't understand how a 7yr old Rottweiler could ever learn to be around a baby. We spent a lot of time getting him used to the baby things and smell. We never every pushed him away! Basically his routine didn't change with us - that's how we did it. Read more about How to Introduce Your Dog to the Baby

5. "You are eating for two now" this is just a ridiculous one that we ALL hear! Its usually from Captain Obvious who also points out that you're belly is getting bigger. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't stuff your face with a giant greasy cheese burger. I did it several times! Of course its important to take your vitamins and eat your fruits and veggies - but if you want a cheeseburger...then eat a cheeseburger. Not because you're pregnant but because you WANT TO.

6. ANY comment about breastfeeding. Most people look at this as a "normal" thing to bring up - negative. This is no one's concern but the Mommy and Daddy. I had it asked a lot, of course I wanted to try to breastfeed Adriana but it doesn't always work out. No biggie. Apparently my relax attitude boggled people.

7. "How much weight have you gained?" This is simple no ones business but the Mommy and the Doctor. If she wishes to share then fine but never ever ever ask a pregnant woman how much weight she's gained. Try rephrasing the question "Is your baby growing?" or something along those lines.

8. "Pregnant Crazy" ok so this might actually be a real thing but you don't comment on it  unless your are able to back it up with very detailed facts....or you're my sister (thanks Kim!). Otherwise, shut it. We already know we're a little (lol) nuts but we don't need anyone to point it out anymore than we know. It happens to the best of us - some longer than others.

9. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Seriously people, all a Mommy wants is a healthy baby and depending on how far along she is...she wants that healthy baby OUT! Otherwise there's not really a preference on whether it s a boy or girl.

10. "You must be having Twins....Triples....etc" How could you possibly know that unless you're my doctor. Since you're not.....shut it. I was told a hundred times that I was going to have twins because I am a twin (that is possible! but no) Given these comments were made in humour and at the very beginning of my pregnancy so it wasn't as bad. I found it very funny actually since I specifically as the ultrasound technician to check all the way over to my side and my doctor to feel for one sac. No twins. I win.



Share your crazy questions and comments below
How did you react?
Were they family, friend, coworker or stranger?

Kids in the Kitchen - 10 recipe ideas

Adriana has always had interest in the kitchen. When she was younger, I would slide her highchair into the kitchen with me while I made lunch and dinner every day. I would hand her a wooden spoon to keep her occupied while I cooked away. She loved it! I'm sure how much she actually paid attention to what I was doing but who cares - she spent time in the kitchen.

Now that shes older her interest to be in the kitchen with us is even more than before. Of course within reason, but we do let her help. Shes great at stirring the pasta and sauce, she even scopes the butter for the Macaroni and Cheese! We also enjoy making pudding and cookies. The best part - Adriana is only 2 years old.

Most parents shoo their kids away from the kitchen because of the hot stove, the oven, sharp tools, etc. Instead, why not try to teach them HOW to be in the kitchen. From the get go we explained the oven is hot; don't touch. Several times, we pick her up to see whats going on top of the stove. Shes curious because we never hid her from seeing us in the kitchen. She was always welcome to stick around and help but with caution. She knows what she can and cant do while there and her help is encouraging. Eventually when shes a little old - she will be making lunch or grabbing her own snacks. Can't wait!

Adriana has her own play kitchen in her room too. It has all the same things as Mommy's and Daddy's kitchen, including metal pots and pans. She loves making "breakfast" or "dinner" for us and we love pretending to eat it with her! She is even smart enough to serve it on a plate - always - and with a cup of tea! The pretend play is great for her to learn how things work. Must cook things on the stove and warm up things in the microwave. She even sets up the table with cutlery! Bless her heart

Adriana has peaked my interest to get her in the real kitchen more. So I did some research and found some great recipes that your little ones can get involved in the kitchen more often with

1. Homemade Pizza - Use Greek pita bread, pizza sauce and toppings. Each child can make their own pizza however they want!

2. Hot dog roll ups - use Crescent rolls, cheese and hot dog halves.

3. Smoothies - add all kinds of their favourite fruits, 1 cup of ice and blend. You may choose to use yogurt or fruit juice as well. Caution: blender may be a bit loud so try to  do it slowly so they don't get scared!

4. Meatballs - kids love getting their hands "dirty" and these are a great way to get them involved!

5. Rice Crispie Squares - what kid doesn't love this delicious treat?

6. Nachos - cook up some ground beef, add cheese, peppers, and serve with salsa.

7. Sliced Chicken Penne - slice up boneless/skinless chicken and fry, add cooked pasta and sauce.

8. Banana rolls - roll up a banana in a peanut butter covered wrap and slice.

9. Deviled Eggs - seems simple enough!

10. Cookies - the good ol' classic ones!


Don't shy your kid away from being in the kitchen. Instead teach them how to work in that area. When they're a little older - you'll be thankful for showing them their way around. It teaches them to be independent for themselves and thoughtful towards others. The more you hold back the less likely they will do things for themselves when the time comes. Teach them young and within reason. I don't expect Adriana to cook up a pot roast or anything but she can help with the more simple meals. She has an interest in the kitchen - we just add fuel to that and teach her how to be safe in the kitchen. Little by little she learns how to work the necessary things.

We are lucky to have an independent little girl. Don't hold them back from learning, even if society says they're too young. Eventually they will have to learn about it so teach them when there's interest and you won't have to force it when they're "old enough". Stop holding them back - stop letting them think they "can't" and start showing them HOW. That's what parenting is about - not making it harder on yourself by trying to control every little movement they do. Teach them to be the people you want by leading by example. I continue to talk about Monkey-see, Monkey-do....do as I say not as I do - how it really works on a child.

A Man's Best Friend

Everyone has heard the saying before. It's nothing knew, but it does hold true feelings tonight. My dog is my best friend - hes our baby boy, a part of the family, and one if a kind. He is Tyson, the rottweiler. 

Those of you who have pets understand exactly what I mean. Even those who dont have pets can understand in some way. We all love someone (or something) as if it was one of our children. We snuggle with it, hold on tight to it. We care for it when it needs caring and take pictures to keep as memories.

A fantastic thing about a pets love is that its very similar to a parents true love. Its completely unconditional, at its truest form, pure. Our pets are one of a kind to us. They show you compassion at just the right times, even when you least expect it.

Tonight I took myself back to when I was pregnant with Adriana. At the time I found his behaviour odd but the next morning it all made sense. Not to say Tyson wasnt a very affectionate dog - sometimes a little TOO affectionate if thats possible - he showed more of a protective comforting attitude. He stayed by my side that entire night, not leaving for anything. With his back slipped just partially under the bed on the floor next to me, he stayed all night long. He was still there the next morning, right by my side, as I realized my water had broke....

Tyson knew it was going to happen. He knew before I had any clue that Adriana was on her way to this crazy world. He comforted me through my back pain while at home. He laid outside the bathroom door while I soothed my back with a hot shower. He sat next to me while I rocked away the stinging sharp pains that shot up my body. He offered reassurance that everything was going to be alright by just being there.

It was still early, six A.M., the boyfriend was still sleeping and I didnt want to wake him. It quite possibly was his last solid nights sleep for a few months. Plus we had plenty of time before we were going to officially be parents - 24.5hrs to be exact!

Tyson has taught me to be more assertive, more consistent in life. Dont be afraid to stand up for yourself and take what you deserve in this world. He has taught me to be a kid (err...puppy?) at heart no matter how old you get. He reminds me to keep smiling no matter whats going on around us. He was my constant reminder that people can change and learn to adapt at any age.

He has proven that it was never the breed but in fact the owner who makes a dog good or bad. Rottweilers come with some hard opinions from people. Tyson proved them wrong. We took our 7yr old rotti and trained him to be kid friendly. A dog who had never been around kids before, turned out to be the best kind for Adriana.  She sees him in the most perfect and unbiased way. He is our dog, Tyson. Not just another Rottweiler.

He gave us a scare tonight - again. With old age comes medical problems and we have this far very lucky his issues are manageable. A few years ago we sat on the living room floor with him paralyzed in the back legs, truly believing this was our last night with him. The next morning he got up and walked. The last few days he has had a lump on his ear and would whimper if anyone touched it. Again, we believed he would go to the vet for the last time. He came home with a prescription and doctor said it was at the early stages of a hematoma; the pills will help reduce the size and pain. In the clear again, my friend.

Just when you think its his last time, he comes back. This dog is honestly my super dog. Im not sure how else I would explain it to Adriana if he didnt come home. She knows hes old and hes sick but thats about it. Shes only 2 so I dont expext her to know much more!

How would/did you expalin losing a pet to your child?
Did you tell them right away or wait?
How long before you got another pet?
We're you skeptical on getting the exact same type of pet?

Milestones for your Child

Have you ever wondered how your child is developing? After 18mths those doctor visits are spread out even more. Where do you turn to know your child is on the right track? This is where parents start to compare their child to their friend's little one or kids at daycare or even strangers! It can get really ugly after awhile. So tame that inner urge to compare and just do some research. Here are some guidelines I've found that may help you set your mind at ease.

If you truly have concerns about your little ones development, ask you doctor. You should know that although some child excel in development - others take their time. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with your child; it just means they're growing at their own pace. By the time they're in kindergarten, they all learn at the same pace anyways.

To be honest, focus on enjoying your child instead of worrying about where they stand with other children. Your little one will develop just fine - if later down the road you're still concerned then talk to the doctor about having your child tested. I read a great article about certain things a mother wants to teach her daughter (i'm on a hunt for a son list). The writer makes a personal list of things that she plans on teaching her daughter and checks them off as their done. Its in no particular order but made me laugh out loud!

Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine is a hilarious mother writing about her life as a stay at home mom.

Slow Down, Mummy

At times we feel there's not enough time in the day to experience the things we want. Every parent, at one point, wished for more time to play with their kids or read them another book before bed or watch the rest of their favourite show with them. We rush around wanting more without considering Quality over Quantity. Its not about spending the ENTIRE day with your little one, its about what  you do with your time.

I realize even more that Adriana is older and playing in her room all day may only last for a few hours now. The trips to the mall only result in one super tired mommy and daddy. So what do we do? I've started to plan specific activities for the weekend (on a Saturday or Sunday). In the Fall, she was swimming once a week and loved it! Now that its a bit cold - that's not going to cut it. I am making a list of activities so we can get out and keep her active while this winter brutally sweeps through! Activities must be indoors (unless its sledding....then its okay!) and they must consist of other kids. This is not necessarily a social thing for us but more to keep her occupied  and consume some of her day. Here are a few ideas:

1. Fun Swim - some community centers still offer a fun swim on the weekends. Check your city for a listing of centers in your area

2. Tea Time - Depending on how well behaved your child is in public, you could take them for a cup of tea at the local coffee shop. The ladies at the one near us absolutely love Adriana! She enjoys the time out, the tea, and of course the free cookie!

3. Play centers - Ontario Early Years Centers are free and several within many area. Check the schedule before you go to ensure the program is age appropriate for your baby. They offer a great program called Mother Goose which is for 9mth-18mth old. Some locations are open on Saturdays as well as later during the week.

4. Micheal's Kids Krafts - Every weekend they offer great crafts for different age groups. The classes are about 45mins-1hr and get to take the craft home with them. Its a great way to explore their art abilities while working next to children around the same age.

5. Play Place - We have a few around our area (i.e. Might Jungle) which have a younger kids area for toddlers. You do have to supervise your own child but its a great way for your little one to blow off some energy!

6. Chuck E Cheese - seriously.......I was absolutely exhausted after 2hrs and the kids were not even playing for the whole time! It was worth every penny for Adriana's birthday just to see her have so much fun! Probably not something to do every weekend but definitely give it a try.

7. Live show - This one could be tricky if your child doesn't have much of an attention span. Spend the extra money and get them their own seat to watch. We are looking at taking Adriana to Mickeys Rockin Road Show thats coming up. She absolutely loves Disney characters so I know she'll love the whole show. Its not as cheap as a movie but definitely an experience we'd love to try with her soon!


I try to remind myself to forget the dishes.....forget the laundry....and just play with her for a little while. She appreciates that so much more than a clean kitchen. Even if that means I have to stay awake a little longer to get the clothes in the dryer before bed. She is totally worth it. If I'm having a rough day - I better get over it quickly so she doesn't see Mommy sad or mad. Its just not worth it at the end of the day. When I am sad - I ask Adriana for a hug. She's so affectionate and doesn't ask why - which can sometimes make it worst. A hug does wonders and if she throws in a face grabbing kiss...even better!!

To All my Mommy readers....I leave you with a poem that I read every so often just to remind myself of the truly important things in the life of a parent. Its easy to forget sometimes in the crazy world. We need to just stop, breathe and reset our priorities. Just Slow Down, Mummy....

Average Growth of a Toddler

I hit that point in Mommyhood - where the parent finally realizes HOW big their child has gotten. Seriously, Adriana has grown so much since the summer that I just had to buy her a SECOND winter coat. Not because of  any other reason besides she had completely out grew her first one. During our NFLD trip she was wearing 18-24mths clothes and on her feet she had size 5 (straight into size 6 when we got back). During the Christmas she fit into 3T and just last week we have to buy her a size 4T (second) winter coat!

I didn't get the memo that a toddler grows THAT fast in such a short time.

So I did some research to see how Adriana squares up to the average kid. Since she was always above the average size (weight and height) I assume that would continue. Correct.

 

 Adriana has a doctor's appointment on Saturday and I'm dying to find out where she stands on the charts!

 She goes for her 2yr needles and its been 6mths since her last set of needles - the last time she was measured and weighed too. I have never hid that she gets needles. I simply explain the doctor takes care of her and it only hurts for a minute. Shes really good about it - Thank you Doc McStuffins!!

We are going back to potty training as well. She dropped off the interest block for a bit but has started to climb back up! Yay for Mommy (and Daddy!). Adriana got some big girl underwear for her birthday - Disney Princess! She really wants to wear them so we pull them on over her diaper and VOLA! happy little girl. I explained that if she learns to peepee on the toilet she could wear them without the diaper on - this totally peaked her interest!! 

So ladies and gents, its on.....everyone is on board (including daycare). I can't wait to be done with changing diapers. She has worn some pull ups to practice the up and down movement and she's done well :) I will keep the interest going right through great encouragement. Also, having everyone on board to help guide her to the success of being toilet trained will make things easier because we're leading by example. Everyone uses a toilet - soon to include Adriana!

*Update: Adriana is 32lbs putting her in the 85th percentile and stands 90cm high which makes her in the 95th percentile. She has always been up in this area for weight and height - actually 85th percentile is her lowest percentile yet! According to the doctor she is a healthy little girl who is very smart and beautiful. We left with a prescription for a minor ear infection (slight redness in the canal) - her first one ever! She's been verbal about her ear bothering her for a week now. I checked every night to see if I could see anything, nothing, so I let the doctor check. Adriana did really well during her check up! She was quiet, she opened her mouth wide for the doctor, she stood on the big girl scale and even stood to watch the doctor prepare a flu shot for another patient! Adriana was absolutely fascinated by the doctors office - possibly a future in medicine?

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or Whatever

However you say it.....its holiday Season everywhere! Snow on the ground, decorations hanging, and sales all over the place. How could you NOT be in the mood? oh right, work.....always gets ya through the holidays. Everyone is working for those dollars, which are immediately spent on the weekend for Christmas gifts, more decorations and of course FOOD!

Nothing taste sweeter over the holidays than food. Seriously. The amount of times we make the same jigs dinner throughout the year and its just never the same as at Christmas. Turkey, ham, salt beef, potatoes, carrots, turnip, cabbage, peas pudding, and stuffing (my favourite!!). This year we had such a big turkey - we had to name him. Jeff (that's what we named him) sat at just over 32lbs - probably one of the bigger turkeys we've had in a long while! It wouldn't be Christmas (or Boxing Day) without Turkey dinner for lunch and dinner; its always better the second day!

Adriana absolutely loved Christmas!! She's starting to understand the whole Santa comes with presents and we eat lots of food. She was definitely spoiled again this year. I seriously have to make room for all the toys she got plus clean out her dresser to make room for the clothes! Toys will take more time as I have to figure out which ones she doesn't need anymore - probably all of them lol I want to put a bookshelf in her room instead of the massive toy storage she has right now. The baskets are handy for things but half the unit isn't being utilized proper.

It was nice to have Kim and Tim back for Christmas! Feel the love <3

It was Loni and Chris' first Christmas with the Decker;s too

 

 Adriana is Grandad's sookie girl!

The boyfriend and I

Adriana all decked out in her Princess Sofia outfit with Aunt Loni

This is Jeff and he weighed over 32lbs!!

I must admit that the days leading up to Christmas day wasn't as festive as I had hoped. Saturday the boyfriend and I gave our time to hand out turkeys to the less fortunate. It was an unreal feeling to see the amount of people who were grateful for a decent size turkey for the holidays. There was no specific age or gender or size of family - we saw it all! From older people to young families who trekked out to pick up their turkey in the cold rain. For the entire day week I was very emotional. It was my first time volunteering with this turkey drive and I hope to continue helping out - even include Adriana next year or the year after.

If you haven't heard on he news about the Toronto Ice Storm December 2013 then you may not know there were hundreds of thousands of homes without power. We were one of those homes. The ice storm hit Saturday night and continued overnight - by morning there was no power. We were actually at my parents house keeping the dog company. The boyfriend had come home to let Tyson out, feed him, shower and shave. Well he made it through half of the shaving part before the power was gone. We obviously couldn't stay here with Adriana - not power means no heat! We stayed at my parents house for the night where it was warm and had lights at least. More than half of our street ended up getting power back late on Sunday night but we were not one of them. We carried on thinking it will be on my the next day - nope.

It was a hard day at work because I couldn't stop thinking about our house with no power. At this rate there was a possibility of not spending Christmas at our home. During the day, The boyfriend was back and forth between our house and his moms (she lives down the street and had power) On the way home from work, I cried. The ice was all over the tree branches which had weighed down so much they broke off. Some landed on the ground but others landed on houses, cars, or signs. It turned our beautiful neighbourhood upside down. The picture isn't even the more recent ones.....a lot more branches are down and some are still stuck on other branches. This happened 5mins after bringing Tyson inside - we turned around and watched 5 big branches fall. Scary to think if we had left him out for a few minutes longer what would happen. We are all okay - very thankful for family close by and the space to take us in on short notice. We weren't the only ones without power - Kim and Tim who at least had a real fireplace to keep warm for the night. As well as Loni and Chris who had to climb the stairs to their 19th floor apartment with their dog!

Christmas has always been about spending time with family and friends. This year more than ever we felt the true meaning of Christmas. Family was around and very grateful to share that time. We don't see each other every day so the few days we did have (and didn't have to work) was very nice. We shared drinks, ate food, snuggled to watch movies and just relax. I thought of those who still didn't have power on Christmas day and my heart definitely went out to them. Not everyone is as lucky as we are to have family around. Despite the damage, the spoiled food or the lack of heat - it was a beautiful Christmas. Thank you.

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

Work - Life Balance

At times almost every Mommy and Daddy feel like there is not enough hours in the day to get everything done. This pressure builds up and takes a toll on the body in different forms. Some symptoms for “over load” are:

Fatigue: You feel a lag in your day even after a solid 8hrs of sleep. This is usually the first sign of overload and can only get worst! Take a multi vitamin to help keep your iron levels up, along with Vitamin B – 2 essential vitamins to help with fatigue.

Sadness or feeling “Blue”: This is a common feeling from time to time – everyone gets “down” but if these feelings last for a few weeks seek a medical professional for help. This is a clear sign of depression and can easily be overlooked when there is no Work-Life balance. No amount of exercise, vitamins or vacation can make it disappear. That’s because depression is an illness, not a weakness and should be taken seriously.

Soreness/stiffness: This can be in a specific area (hands if you do a lot of lifting or your feet if you stand for long periods). If you work at a desk, consider evaluating your work station to ensure proper ergonomics are in place. It could be as simple as a different mouse pad for wrist support! Take the necessary steps for a healthier workspace. Ensure you stretch periodically. It is recommended that a person should get up and stretch once every hour to ensure proper blood circulation. I would suggest Basic Yoga for added benefits all around.

Headaches (tension): A common headache will last a few hours, however prolonged or reoccurring headaches are a clear sign of stress. These headaches are normally around the back of the head (crown or below) area. Sometimes they occur around the eye brow area as well – more so if you wear glasses. If you have a reoccurring headache for more than a few days – consider talking to your doctor to rule out other causes.

Lack of appetite *important*: The way we eat plays a huge factor in our moods, recovering, concentration, alertness, etc. If you feed your body high fatty foods you will feel sluggish and unmotivated. However, lots of veggies and fruits with good carbs and protein will help keep your energy levels up – consider keep healthy snacks around. Lack of appetite is something that a person may not pay attention to. You can set a reminder to stop and snack or have lunch in order to keep your mood up and focus on point. This can take some planning the night before – or keep healthy snacks in your desk. I usually like Rice crackers, granola bars, Pepperoni sticks (for protein), Small packets of candy for the sweet tooth. I try not to keep fruit at my desk because it goes bad! Substitute with what you can in order to keep fueling your body. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water!

As the demands for the workplace increase, it makes work-life balance more difficult. However, there is a solution to better time management. Consider building downtime into your schedule prior to the start of the work week. A midweek dinner out is a good way to relieve stress and unwind. Rethink the activities that take a considerable toll on your time and energy. Try to schedule a good chunk of time to making errands or splitting them up twice a week (Tuesday and Saturday). The importance of exercise cannot be stressed enough! We are not talking deadlifts for 30mins at 200lbs – think small like taking a walk to the store or coffee shop every night; Or wake up 30mins early to do basic yoga. Don’t forget to relax. Just sit down and breathe for a few moments. Take a long hot shower or read a good book with a  cup of tea (or glass of wine!). Make sure to take some time for yourself that doesn’t include any effort at all. My “Me time” activity is writing – it releases the load of thoughts I carry with me every day. By putting them to paper, it allows me to think through and clear my mind.

How do you create work-life balance?

How do you use your downtime?

Share your exercise ideas. No Gym Required.

What things do you do to release tension?

Happy (Mo) November

Can you believe its already November? Where has the year gone! This is still one of my favourite time of the year. Right after Halloween and just before Christmas. Its a good chunk of time to appreciate other things without getting caught up in a mile long list of things to do. I am a huge fan of Christmas - this I do not hide. Although the quietness of the stores are nice. I try to start Christmas shopping about this time every year and usually by December I actually buy things!! Lol I prefer to make a list of everyone that I need to buy for first, then I group the couple gifts that I can get away with (essentially those who need a Date Night - get one!) I jot down a few gift ideas - this takes a toll on my memory since I have to remember if they mentioned something they might need. If I'm really stuck then I will flat out ask the person for ideas. People change their minds or they already got that thing they said they needed. I believe in giving a useful gift - something they need or wanted, instead of a "thoughtful" gift.

Although my family never had much money growing up - my parents always made sure to give us the best Christmas ever. We always had lots of presents to open, a huge stocking to filter through and tons of food to eat all in the company of family and friends. The tradition has changed a bit over the years but essentially its the same. We may have lost Jill and Pat for the holidays this year but gained Loni and Chris for the first time ever. Kim and Tim are back too! This Christmas is going to be just as good as any year before. Adriana seems to be understanding the holidays more than before - Halloween really stood out for her. Christmas will just put her over the moon! I truly cannot wait.

We are coming close to the end of her swimming lessons. She officially has one more class left and she's on to the next one! We are thinking of starting again in February but we'll see what the New Year brings first. I am more excited now than ever. We had to move from the normal area in the Kiddie pool to the full size pool. Adriana wasn't even afraid of the bigger pool - actually, she ran and jumped in with her life jacket on! Clear signs shes ready for the next big thing. Hopefully her instructors see that and suggest her for Preschool classes.We will continue to take her swimming and get her used to swimming by herself a little more.

I must admit that only being able to do stuff with Adriana on the weekends really make them more special. Monday - Friday are pretty straight forward and leave little time for playing and more time for talking. This past weekend I had a ton of fun with her - it was our first trip together to Starbucks for a snack. Adriana had some tea (Zen tea!) and got a snowman cookie too! I love my local Starbucks. The ladies that work there are fabulous and just adored Adriana! I've talked about her many times but this was the first time they had met her in person. She just melted their hearts with her Thank yous and Pleases. I found it to be an appropriate place considering how well she behaves!! After an hour there we headed over to see the ducks again. Did I mention Adriana walked the entire time?? Love it.

I think Adriana is going through a growth spurt again. Every time I talk to her she's hungry! This is only day 2 but I think its happening again. Shes out growing her 2T clothes - which I knew would happen before Christmas anyways - but didnt think it would happen this soon. We bought her a fancy new winter coat in Size 3years and I think I have to exchange it because its a big snug! This weekend I will have to go buy her some bigger pants but I run into the problem that it doesn't fit in the waist! She has to wear skinny jeans or leggings mostly since regular jeans don't always fit her. Most have that elastic band to tighten but some don't! I also need to start thinking of a Christmas dress - do you remember Adriana with Santa last year? Oh lord she did NOT like him - classic. Hopefully this year is a bit different!



Have you started making your Christmas lists? Shopping?
Do you have your lights up? Tree out?
Are you traveling for Christmas? To where?
Do you want a White Christmas this year?