Happy Spring

March 22nd is a beautiful day which (hopefully) is the last sign of snow for awhile. The weather warms up, the sunshines more, people work through the garden/storage clean up. Its a refreshing time; motivational even! It encourages people to think about the summer and plan vacations, like to Montreal...

We are booked to go the first weekend in May - fly there and Via rail home. I have fallen in love with Old Port and this time we're scratching things off the bucket list. The train home is a first for us - last time we went it took 10hrs to drive (long wknd traffic) so we said nope, never again! Booked us a fancy Business Class train ticket and plan to relax on the way home; maybe take a nap. In order to do this we would have to take the train or fly there. Since the timing for the train wasn't the best, we were able to find a flight in the evening. Easy Peasy.

Another, bucket list check for us is to see the new Cirque du Soleil - Volta, in Montreal! Tickets....check. Great seats? Double Check! Its brand new and opening April 20th, so we we will be there a few weeks into the show. Last summer we saw the tent still set up and I had tried to get tickets beforehand (sold out). This will be my 4th show - all others were seen in Toronto.

One last check of the bucket list will be to visit Bota Bota Spa. Its a former show boat, converted into a full on spa. We saw this on our "touristy" boat trip up the river when we were there in July. I said yes, definitely, must do next time. Hopefully the weather cooperates and we'll be able to enjoy the full experience inside and out.

The rest of the time we will fill in he gaps with eating, wine, walking around the shops. We use Airbnb and found a great place just around the corner from the Notre Dame Basilica. We chose it for the location mostly - its a beautiful apartment, complete with a full kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, laundry, living room, large windows and  a fireplace (just in case its cold!) We are about a 10min walk to the central train station. Starbucks down the street, about 8mins to Bota Bota, Jacques Cartier is about 12mins, beautiful view of Downtown Montreal (at least in the pictures). Can't wait to go!!

We love these weekend trips - a quick jaunt across the provincial border. Seeing things that are different than the typical Niagara Falls trip, or cottage. Don't get me wrong...I love those things, we are just looking for different sometimes.


What are some favourite spots in Montreal? Food? Site seeing?
Favourite weekend getaway?
Have you tried Airbnb before? Experience?

(Late) Spring Cleaning Time

This year is off to a late start in regards to a lot of things. We were still getting snow in April for Christ sake! Regardless of how it happened - its now Spring Cleaning Month for my family. I have to start writing out my list instead of keeping it in my head all the time! The backyard is going to be the biggest project, I think. The amount of branches that have fallen from all the winter storms (thanks Mother Nature!) its absolutely disastrous back there. Throw in the size of it and we have our work cut out for us! Once the branches are gone then it will be easier - cut the grass, pick up the rest of the leaves, plant a garden, etc. Its still fairly cool outside which is better than doing all this work in the scorching heat!

I've been on the hunt for the perfect pool for Adriana. I'm still gun-ho on getting more than just a wading pool with 4inches of water but the boyfriend doesn't seen it as beneficial. Clearly we need to make more trips to Wal-Mart together! Adriana loves swimming and has a life jacket so if we did get a bigger one, she would get lots of use out of a bigger pool rather than a smaller one. Plus we could use it more too when its really hot out. A quick dip to cool us off. He fears the dog will put a hole in it.

   

Nothing crazy - this one is 12'x30" and has a cover you buy separately. This will help keep the leaves and sticks out when we're not using it. I think it will be worth every penny of the $170 price tag (plus cover). I have never had a pool (I've always lived near a public pool or had friends who had one) and I would like to keep encouraging Adriana to swim. She will start swimming lessons again in the Fall!

I cleaned out Adriana's room (2 garbage bags later) and now she has a decent size room again! Next tackle is her closet. I have to fish out what still fits her and what doesn't anymore so we can make room for some new stuff. She already has some shorts and t shirts to get her started. Thanks to her Gran she also has some sandals and water shoes too! Our storage was converted from a small third bedroom and I still don't have enough space to keep everything!! Time to make the trip to the Goodwill then or....hello friends?

I can't wait for the summer!! I have some sweet days planned for Adriana and I this year (and if Daddy can get the days off work too). As long as she has her naps - we're golden. I have a shopping trip planned, zoo trip, movie date, swimming and cottage trip so far. I enjoy traveling with her because shes a people watcher and enjoys being on the go. Typical toddler. I refuse to sit inside all summer, sometimes walking down to the park or feeding the ducks - those are good things for the Spring and Fall but not summer! I may even look into a camping trip....oh do I dare?

Adriana wants to learn how to fish but I'm not sure she has the patience to make it through a round of fishing! She would end up scaring all the fish away. The boyfriend wants to teach her and I say Good Luck to you sir! I love fishing, just never had much time to continue it when life happened. He can teach her while I do my own fishing. Pretty sure it was my dad who taught me how to fish - although I'm not very good at it lol

What plans do you have with your kids this summer?

Do you travel with them on road trips? To where?

Spring is in The Air

I really hope its here to stay - Spring like weather has sprung among us!! Time for walks, trips to the park, riding bike, feeding ducks, rubber boots and umbrellas.  I've already started some of those things in hopes the good weather will join me. Better late than never!

We have pulled out Adriana's bike (she got it for her birthday) and let her ride it around the house for a bit. She needs to work on her leg muscles now to get it moving. She understands how but its not easy. I'm sure by the end of the summer she'll be flying down the street in her 3-wheeled pink tricycle. Watch out!

She has already asked for her wagon. We need to clean it off first and then definitely go on some trips to town, the park, the ducks, etc. with her. She loves going for rides in it - she doesn't have to pull the thing! It will be great too for her friend to come along too. I hope he doesn't mind riding in a pink wagon! I can't wait to get her outside every weekend to the river for a picnic or just up to town for a snack.

We spend enough time inside during the winter, so when the weather is nice, I love getting outside doing things! First on the list....we need to clean up the backyard from the wick storms we had in December. I want to get her a small pool for those hot days - which reminds me....she needs a new bathing suit this year! I`d like to get a lounge chair to cuddle up for a nap or read a good book. Time to utilize the backyard more this year than the last. Cheers to more BBQs, patio lunches and fires :)

I have already started planning some fun activities for Adriana. We plan to take her to the zoo, waterpark, Bread & Honey, Waterfront, etc. Shes going to have so much fun! Now that shes older and able to walk more - we can do more things with her. She also hasn`t been in her stroller in a long long time. She really enjoys being independent - which includes walking by herself (only holding hands when we cross the road) or carrying her own bag. I don`t have to ask her most of the time.


What activities do you have planned for you little ones?

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

Work - Life Balance

At times almost every Mommy and Daddy feel like there is not enough hours in the day to get everything done. This pressure builds up and takes a toll on the body in different forms. Some symptoms for “over load” are:

Fatigue: You feel a lag in your day even after a solid 8hrs of sleep. This is usually the first sign of overload and can only get worst! Take a multi vitamin to help keep your iron levels up, along with Vitamin B – 2 essential vitamins to help with fatigue.

Sadness or feeling “Blue”: This is a common feeling from time to time – everyone gets “down” but if these feelings last for a few weeks seek a medical professional for help. This is a clear sign of depression and can easily be overlooked when there is no Work-Life balance. No amount of exercise, vitamins or vacation can make it disappear. That’s because depression is an illness, not a weakness and should be taken seriously.

Soreness/stiffness: This can be in a specific area (hands if you do a lot of lifting or your feet if you stand for long periods). If you work at a desk, consider evaluating your work station to ensure proper ergonomics are in place. It could be as simple as a different mouse pad for wrist support! Take the necessary steps for a healthier workspace. Ensure you stretch periodically. It is recommended that a person should get up and stretch once every hour to ensure proper blood circulation. I would suggest Basic Yoga for added benefits all around.

Headaches (tension): A common headache will last a few hours, however prolonged or reoccurring headaches are a clear sign of stress. These headaches are normally around the back of the head (crown or below) area. Sometimes they occur around the eye brow area as well – more so if you wear glasses. If you have a reoccurring headache for more than a few days – consider talking to your doctor to rule out other causes.

Lack of appetite *important*: The way we eat plays a huge factor in our moods, recovering, concentration, alertness, etc. If you feed your body high fatty foods you will feel sluggish and unmotivated. However, lots of veggies and fruits with good carbs and protein will help keep your energy levels up – consider keep healthy snacks around. Lack of appetite is something that a person may not pay attention to. You can set a reminder to stop and snack or have lunch in order to keep your mood up and focus on point. This can take some planning the night before – or keep healthy snacks in your desk. I usually like Rice crackers, granola bars, Pepperoni sticks (for protein), Small packets of candy for the sweet tooth. I try not to keep fruit at my desk because it goes bad! Substitute with what you can in order to keep fueling your body. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water!

As the demands for the workplace increase, it makes work-life balance more difficult. However, there is a solution to better time management. Consider building downtime into your schedule prior to the start of the work week. A midweek dinner out is a good way to relieve stress and unwind. Rethink the activities that take a considerable toll on your time and energy. Try to schedule a good chunk of time to making errands or splitting them up twice a week (Tuesday and Saturday). The importance of exercise cannot be stressed enough! We are not talking deadlifts for 30mins at 200lbs – think small like taking a walk to the store or coffee shop every night; Or wake up 30mins early to do basic yoga. Don’t forget to relax. Just sit down and breathe for a few moments. Take a long hot shower or read a good book with a  cup of tea (or glass of wine!). Make sure to take some time for yourself that doesn’t include any effort at all. My “Me time” activity is writing – it releases the load of thoughts I carry with me every day. By putting them to paper, it allows me to think through and clear my mind.

How do you create work-life balance?

How do you use your downtime?

Share your exercise ideas. No Gym Required.

What things do you do to release tension?