Happy Easter

Adriana is quite possibly the luckiest little girl!! She was spoiled for Easter. She got some clothes, sandals, new coat and matching rubber boots from her Gran and Gradad. Then she got a Dora the Explorer life jacket, which is amazing!! Now we have to plan a few weekends to go up to the cottage with her. Adriana was lucky enough to get something not every kid gets. She had some birthday money left over and Easter money - with the help of Mommy and Daddy - she picked out her very first power wheel! A red Mini Cooper convertible...great taste ;)

 cruising down the street!

We celebrated with some family time and a wonderful dinner. Traditionally we would have "jigs dinner" but went completely different this year with a huge spiral ham, gourmet scalloped potatoes, asparagus,  grilled mushrooms and 2 salads. Everything was delicious!!

Easter for me growing up was about family time and of course chocolate. Adriana is entirely interested in chocolate (whos child is this?!...I love chocolate) but she did spend lots of time with family. She is the most happiest little girl when shes around those who love her - even when she hadnt had a nap all day!

This long weekend also marked the start of Operation Goodbye Suckie for us. So far its not too bad considering how attached she was. No tantrums...although its not entirely gone. We snipped the tip so she (hopefully) wont have the desire for it anymore. She is at the "I want to just hold it" stage. I constantly check on her; suckie is in her hand or beside her. Far from her mouth. Success? I think we still need some time but its working so far!

Next up....potty training!!

What activities did you plan for your little ones?

Do you give gifts or just chocolate?

What great gift did the Easter Bunny bring your children?

Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.

Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.

When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already. 

Top 10: Comments or Questions You Get When You're Pregnant

I was reminiscing about when I was pregnant and how wonderful it was....when I didn't have someone making absurd comments or inappropriate questions. If you've been pregnant (or currently) you know what I'm talking about. Perhaps, at times, those individuals didn't realize WHAT they were saying or asking. Maybe it was the WAY they said it? Regardless, we have all been there. I have compiled a list of my favourite ones. Some you may be able to relate to and others may be a one off.

1. "You look like you're ready to POP!".....when you're only just starting your third trimester. These people really do mean well, although they don't show it by this comment. Its basically on the list of Tradition Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman.

2. "You and your husband must be so excited" Umm....don't jump to conclusions people - 2014 and not everyone gets married before having kids. I can't tell you how many times people would be surprised when I said boyfriend. Which usually lead to "Is he the father?" People kill me.

3. "Was it planned or an....err...oops?" This question really makes me laugh. I mean it happens to some people but most people do plan for these things. I can predict when this one is coming too.....its usually after they say #2.

4. "What about your dog?" People, just because there's a baby coming home doesn't mean we have to get rid of our pets. We got this question A LOT because of Tyson - people just couldn't understand how a 7yr old Rottweiler could ever learn to be around a baby. We spent a lot of time getting him used to the baby things and smell. We never every pushed him away! Basically his routine didn't change with us - that's how we did it. Read more about How to Introduce Your Dog to the Baby

5. "You are eating for two now" this is just a ridiculous one that we ALL hear! Its usually from Captain Obvious who also points out that you're belly is getting bigger. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't stuff your face with a giant greasy cheese burger. I did it several times! Of course its important to take your vitamins and eat your fruits and veggies - but if you want a cheeseburger...then eat a cheeseburger. Not because you're pregnant but because you WANT TO.

6. ANY comment about breastfeeding. Most people look at this as a "normal" thing to bring up - negative. This is no one's concern but the Mommy and Daddy. I had it asked a lot, of course I wanted to try to breastfeed Adriana but it doesn't always work out. No biggie. Apparently my relax attitude boggled people.

7. "How much weight have you gained?" This is simple no ones business but the Mommy and the Doctor. If she wishes to share then fine but never ever ever ask a pregnant woman how much weight she's gained. Try rephrasing the question "Is your baby growing?" or something along those lines.

8. "Pregnant Crazy" ok so this might actually be a real thing but you don't comment on it  unless your are able to back it up with very detailed facts....or you're my sister (thanks Kim!). Otherwise, shut it. We already know we're a little (lol) nuts but we don't need anyone to point it out anymore than we know. It happens to the best of us - some longer than others.

9. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Seriously people, all a Mommy wants is a healthy baby and depending on how far along she is...she wants that healthy baby OUT! Otherwise there's not really a preference on whether it s a boy or girl.

10. "You must be having Twins....Triples....etc" How could you possibly know that unless you're my doctor. Since you're not.....shut it. I was told a hundred times that I was going to have twins because I am a twin (that is possible! but no) Given these comments were made in humour and at the very beginning of my pregnancy so it wasn't as bad. I found it very funny actually since I specifically as the ultrasound technician to check all the way over to my side and my doctor to feel for one sac. No twins. I win.



Share your crazy questions and comments below
How did you react?
Were they family, friend, coworker or stranger?

Slow Down, Mummy

At times we feel there's not enough time in the day to experience the things we want. Every parent, at one point, wished for more time to play with their kids or read them another book before bed or watch the rest of their favourite show with them. We rush around wanting more without considering Quality over Quantity. Its not about spending the ENTIRE day with your little one, its about what  you do with your time.

I realize even more that Adriana is older and playing in her room all day may only last for a few hours now. The trips to the mall only result in one super tired mommy and daddy. So what do we do? I've started to plan specific activities for the weekend (on a Saturday or Sunday). In the Fall, she was swimming once a week and loved it! Now that its a bit cold - that's not going to cut it. I am making a list of activities so we can get out and keep her active while this winter brutally sweeps through! Activities must be indoors (unless its sledding....then its okay!) and they must consist of other kids. This is not necessarily a social thing for us but more to keep her occupied  and consume some of her day. Here are a few ideas:

1. Fun Swim - some community centers still offer a fun swim on the weekends. Check your city for a listing of centers in your area

2. Tea Time - Depending on how well behaved your child is in public, you could take them for a cup of tea at the local coffee shop. The ladies at the one near us absolutely love Adriana! She enjoys the time out, the tea, and of course the free cookie!

3. Play centers - Ontario Early Years Centers are free and several within many area. Check the schedule before you go to ensure the program is age appropriate for your baby. They offer a great program called Mother Goose which is for 9mth-18mth old. Some locations are open on Saturdays as well as later during the week.

4. Micheal's Kids Krafts - Every weekend they offer great crafts for different age groups. The classes are about 45mins-1hr and get to take the craft home with them. Its a great way to explore their art abilities while working next to children around the same age.

5. Play Place - We have a few around our area (i.e. Might Jungle) which have a younger kids area for toddlers. You do have to supervise your own child but its a great way for your little one to blow off some energy!

6. Chuck E Cheese - seriously.......I was absolutely exhausted after 2hrs and the kids were not even playing for the whole time! It was worth every penny for Adriana's birthday just to see her have so much fun! Probably not something to do every weekend but definitely give it a try.

7. Live show - This one could be tricky if your child doesn't have much of an attention span. Spend the extra money and get them their own seat to watch. We are looking at taking Adriana to Mickeys Rockin Road Show thats coming up. She absolutely loves Disney characters so I know she'll love the whole show. Its not as cheap as a movie but definitely an experience we'd love to try with her soon!


I try to remind myself to forget the dishes.....forget the laundry....and just play with her for a little while. She appreciates that so much more than a clean kitchen. Even if that means I have to stay awake a little longer to get the clothes in the dryer before bed. She is totally worth it. If I'm having a rough day - I better get over it quickly so she doesn't see Mommy sad or mad. Its just not worth it at the end of the day. When I am sad - I ask Adriana for a hug. She's so affectionate and doesn't ask why - which can sometimes make it worst. A hug does wonders and if she throws in a face grabbing kiss...even better!!

To All my Mommy readers....I leave you with a poem that I read every so often just to remind myself of the truly important things in the life of a parent. Its easy to forget sometimes in the crazy world. We need to just stop, breathe and reset our priorities. Just Slow Down, Mummy....

Happy 2nd Birthday Adriana!!

I can't believe it's here!! Adriana is finally two years old and its more than I had hoped for. All week I've been trying to explain its her birthday soon but all she kept saying was "Happy Holidays, Mommy!" As cute as that was, I really wanted to separate her birthday from Christmas as much as possible.

Adriana  had amazing Christmas, no doubt, but her birthday just put her over the top on the excitement scale. What kid doesn't love Chuck E Cheese? Yeah that's right....we went to the craziest place for kids!! I had to do something to keep her and a few kiddies entertained for a few hours without having to clean up the mess. That was key.

Each kid got pizza and juice plus we brought a cupcake-cake! It was much easier to hand out as cupcakes - chocolate cupcakes of course. They also each got a bunch of tokens to play all the games with. Adriana was all over this game where you move the basket to catch the balls randomly popping up. She road a mechanically horse, took a ride in a monster truck with her cousin and tried to take a picture with Mommy and Daddy.

Although it was a bit crazy with another 5 or 6 birthdays happening at the same time, I think the kids had fun! The people who did come to her birthday she absolutely loves seeing. Her cousins, Aunts and Uncles, Nana and of course Gran and Gradad - plus her few friends she does have. I'm sure when she goes to school in another few years there will be more kids than adults, but for now I appreciate the smaller costs!! It was worth every penny to just watch her blow out her candles.

Adriana is a very lucky girl in every single way. She has a great support system - surrounded by people who truly love her! Christmas was just a starter for her  - spoiled as usual - then a short 10days later she is spoiled again on her birthday party. She got tons of clothes (which she really needed because she grows like a weed!!) puzzles, books, dolls, and a tricycle!!

She may be a little young still for a tricycle but she has to learn somewhere! She reaches the peddles nicely but needs to work on her leg muscles in order to really push off. So far we've let her "ride" it around the living room and her bedroom. She clearly picked up her first passenger in the back basket - her new Aurora doll! She really wants to ride it and I'd like to start teaching her this Spring so we can go for bike rides together. Of course, I will have to get a bike as well once she's had a lot of practice! Until then we can ride down to the park and let her go along the path by herself.

I have to admit that all weekend I was a bit emotional. Seems fairly reasonable since my baby girl is ANOTHER year old now. Two years have gone by since we were first blessed on that cold Thursday morning. I never forget the range of emotions that filled me over the first few days....weeks.....months....and now years. Adriana is truly a unique child to me. I have babysat several kids of all ages and been around friends babies and cousins. I know that she is above average and perhaps she will plateau with other children's learning ability. Perhaps she will continue to surpass my expectations.

Its been an amazing adventure with Adriana! She is talking so much and clearer every day. She understands concepts and even reminds me of the ones we have mentioned before to her. She remembers a lot and is just a happy kid!

Today - her officially birthday - we went up to Starbucks for tea and a cookie. We continued down the street to the store and we saw a little boy walking towards us. I pointed out that he was another big kid like her because she's not a baby anymore. She corrected me and said he was a little boy and she was a little girl. How very true she was! Its moments like that which make me smiles - she gets it....she gets so much more than we realize!!

My Dear Adriana,
        Mommy and Daddy love you so much!!! You are a very special little girl who has absolutely changed our lives in every way. Your sweetness shines through your constant hugs and kisses. Your thank-yous, pleases, and I love yous totally make our day. Although you're high energy and girly squeals may give Mommy/Daddy a headache

WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!

Happy Birthday Adriana! To many more years of celebrating, many more hugs and kisses and never ending love!!!

Happy New Year

To My Readers:

           I wish you all the best in the New Year. This is a fresh start to truly make another year memorable. This is your time to shine, set new goals and achieve or even exceed those goals! Make your mark with no regrets.

I have made a point to set my goals a few months ago and work out the plan (in different scenarios) to achieve them. I am a well organized person but feel that there's always room for improvement. I want to make myself a reflection for my daughter by bettering my life and setting goals. She is my everything - two years ago I remember telling myself everything changes from now on. Slowly but surely it has.

2013 has brought some sad moments (I think of Leah all the time....) and more happy moments. I have grown as a person but even more as a mother. I realize the amount of love a child truly requires - even when Mommy is sick or exhausted or busy. Slow down, Mommy. My time with Adriana has been amazing. Most parents never want their child to grow up but I haven't missed a beat. It only gets better! I have some aspirations for her - not expectations. Adriana is a unique child who will clearly soar in life. She is full of energy and life (with a few toddler moments lol) I may have a biased opinion here...but she is one very smart child for her age. Her love for books, puzzles, and dolls makes her just like any other kid. But her ability to grasp concepts, words, things, etc is amazing. I hope Adriana continues on this path - we, as parents, will encourage her as much as we can.

It truly is a blessing to become a parent. There are women who are not able to have babies and end up having miracles - Georgie, I'm thinking of you. Its a beautiful and touching thing when you know that person always wanted the Mommy title; that person who would completely excel at being one too! I'm old fashioned when it comes to being a Mommy. I don't think its necessarily a duty but definitely something women should really consider. The modern world has made it more acceptable to women choosing to not have kids at all. I respect that - it must have taken a lot to make that decision and share it with your family or spouse. Essentially, its also the reason some relationships fail. Becoming a parent isn't the "norm" anymore - many couples are opting not to have children for various reasons.

I remember great words said to me a few times these past few month. Words that really opened my eyes to things and settled a piece of my mind. It was words that I probably had heard before but never meant anything. These words sit well with me and I think it should be 2014 's motto. I hope they carry great meaning with you and help you through the rough and the good that comes in a new year....
" I Wish You Enough " - LS

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or Whatever

However you say it.....its holiday Season everywhere! Snow on the ground, decorations hanging, and sales all over the place. How could you NOT be in the mood? oh right, work.....always gets ya through the holidays. Everyone is working for those dollars, which are immediately spent on the weekend for Christmas gifts, more decorations and of course FOOD!

Nothing taste sweeter over the holidays than food. Seriously. The amount of times we make the same jigs dinner throughout the year and its just never the same as at Christmas. Turkey, ham, salt beef, potatoes, carrots, turnip, cabbage, peas pudding, and stuffing (my favourite!!). This year we had such a big turkey - we had to name him. Jeff (that's what we named him) sat at just over 32lbs - probably one of the bigger turkeys we've had in a long while! It wouldn't be Christmas (or Boxing Day) without Turkey dinner for lunch and dinner; its always better the second day!

Adriana absolutely loved Christmas!! She's starting to understand the whole Santa comes with presents and we eat lots of food. She was definitely spoiled again this year. I seriously have to make room for all the toys she got plus clean out her dresser to make room for the clothes! Toys will take more time as I have to figure out which ones she doesn't need anymore - probably all of them lol I want to put a bookshelf in her room instead of the massive toy storage she has right now. The baskets are handy for things but half the unit isn't being utilized proper.

It was nice to have Kim and Tim back for Christmas! Feel the love <3

It was Loni and Chris' first Christmas with the Decker;s too

 

 Adriana is Grandad's sookie girl!

The boyfriend and I

Adriana all decked out in her Princess Sofia outfit with Aunt Loni

This is Jeff and he weighed over 32lbs!!

I must admit that the days leading up to Christmas day wasn't as festive as I had hoped. Saturday the boyfriend and I gave our time to hand out turkeys to the less fortunate. It was an unreal feeling to see the amount of people who were grateful for a decent size turkey for the holidays. There was no specific age or gender or size of family - we saw it all! From older people to young families who trekked out to pick up their turkey in the cold rain. For the entire day week I was very emotional. It was my first time volunteering with this turkey drive and I hope to continue helping out - even include Adriana next year or the year after.

If you haven't heard on he news about the Toronto Ice Storm December 2013 then you may not know there were hundreds of thousands of homes without power. We were one of those homes. The ice storm hit Saturday night and continued overnight - by morning there was no power. We were actually at my parents house keeping the dog company. The boyfriend had come home to let Tyson out, feed him, shower and shave. Well he made it through half of the shaving part before the power was gone. We obviously couldn't stay here with Adriana - not power means no heat! We stayed at my parents house for the night where it was warm and had lights at least. More than half of our street ended up getting power back late on Sunday night but we were not one of them. We carried on thinking it will be on my the next day - nope.

It was a hard day at work because I couldn't stop thinking about our house with no power. At this rate there was a possibility of not spending Christmas at our home. During the day, The boyfriend was back and forth between our house and his moms (she lives down the street and had power) On the way home from work, I cried. The ice was all over the tree branches which had weighed down so much they broke off. Some landed on the ground but others landed on houses, cars, or signs. It turned our beautiful neighbourhood upside down. The picture isn't even the more recent ones.....a lot more branches are down and some are still stuck on other branches. This happened 5mins after bringing Tyson inside - we turned around and watched 5 big branches fall. Scary to think if we had left him out for a few minutes longer what would happen. We are all okay - very thankful for family close by and the space to take us in on short notice. We weren't the only ones without power - Kim and Tim who at least had a real fireplace to keep warm for the night. As well as Loni and Chris who had to climb the stairs to their 19th floor apartment with their dog!

Christmas has always been about spending time with family and friends. This year more than ever we felt the true meaning of Christmas. Family was around and very grateful to share that time. We don't see each other every day so the few days we did have (and didn't have to work) was very nice. We shared drinks, ate food, snuggled to watch movies and just relax. I thought of those who still didn't have power on Christmas day and my heart definitely went out to them. Not everyone is as lucky as we are to have family around. Despite the damage, the spoiled food or the lack of heat - it was a beautiful Christmas. Thank you.

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Elf on the Shelf

I must admit that I have mixed feelings about this little critter. A few of my friends are hesitant to try it out with their child for several reasons.
Believe it or not, there are kids that are afraid of his smirking little Elf face. Something about his mischievous facial expression:

 I can appreciate that for sure. He (or she) does have that "Please stop staring at me you weird looking doll" Although I think some of the the clever ideas people come up with are just awesome!! Some of my favourite ideas are where the Elf is caught sitting with Barbie in the car or in her dollhouse with his arm around her. Its pretty obvious any male elf would take a liking to the long legged doll. 

Elf on the Shelf has been around for decades....just kidding its started in 2005 as a children's book and in 2011 CBS aired a 30-minute special "An Elf's Story: The Elf on the Shelf" So I must admit this may not qualify as a true tradition, it definitely has become more popular over the years. I have friends who have dedicated every day from Dec 1 (on or about then) until Dec 25th to creating new and unique scenario to please their little ones. From finding this little friend hanging from the drapes in the living room to toilet papering the Christmas tree. Amazingly, these ideas are different every day and even better than the year before.

Although it all sounds great, make sure its something you can dedicate some time to every day. Depending on the age of your child, take into consideration the load of questions they might have about this mysterious little new friend. Perhaps do some research and create a detail bio to help clarify some questions beforehand. If you curious "George" still has 20-questions......you can always use the question as an answer "How old do YOU think he is?" kind of idea.

So lets give a scenario: You and your child decide to adopt an Elf on the Shelf. A few days in, you think "Awesome, hes loving it!" and after about 2-3 weeks your child starts asking questions. A lot of questions. Question you didn't prepare yourself for and answering with "I don't know"

....What do you do?

At this point you have two options: keep at it and continue to dodge unanswered questions as best as you can or you can have an early goodbye.

I actually Googled ideas on how to get rid of Elf on the Shelf and there wasn't anything more than the normal goodbye. So I have compiled a few of ideas of my own on how to umm.....depart early if things are not working out.

 One of my top listers was to create a letter announcing your child made the nice list early and they will return on Christmas even for their final good bye. This is simple, easy and probably the most effective considering the start of the whole thing was to make that list. You can create a certificate in Word to make it "official" and have it signed by your Elf and Santa. Your child is more likely to be acceptable to this option because the reward is the same as if your elf stayed the entire time.

If your elf is a male (most seem to be), you can send your little friend on a trip where he elopes with Barbie. You can take it a step further and send pictures or an email for update if your little one is still asking about his friend. If your elf is a female, perhaps have her run away with Hulk, Iron Man, GI Joe or Ken!

The vacation idea could be played in several different ways. One last vacay before the big day, visit family, or go back to help Santa finish the toys in time. You can play it however you like!

Personally, I have no interest in starting this tradition with Adriana - full time job, full time Mommy, house cleaner, laundry doer, dinner cooker, website and blog creator, and part time student - my time is pretty full as it is! Christmas is my ultimate favourite time of the year, even without an Elf on the shelf visiting. Adriana will still appreciate the meaning of Christmas and the importance of family time over the holidays. I don't need any extra work to keep the hype of Christmas alive in our family - I'm 28 years old and I still look forward to presents, food and family on Christmas Day. My mom still puts up her metropolis of Dickens Village, well decorated tree, lighted garland inside and out, plus her scattered Christmas decorations. That is a lot of work on its own but not a year so far that I have been disappointed during the holidays - definitely puts anyone in the holiday spirit.

This year is no different as I am already more excited than last year. Christmas is more exciting to me than my own birthday!! I look forward to many more years of celebrating with my family and creating new traditions. But not ones that include Elf on the Shelf!
 

Toddler Nap Time Troubles

I swore myself to be the luckiest parent alive when Adriana was sleeping through the night after just 10days. Seriously, who else can say that? Not many I'm sure.

Lets face it....I think my luck has run out.

Adriana is starting her "terrible twos" already and part of that is refusing to nap. Do I dare assume my little one doesn't need a midday nap anymore? She's not even two yet! Although this is the third weekend in a row of no nap time. At daycare it seems to be mostly the same thing as well.

She doesn't normally give a hard time when we tell her its nap time. She's very willing to go lay in her bed but shortly after closing the door we can hear her playing with toys. This we don't mind because eventually she will fall asleep (we hope). She's into opening her door to come see what we're doing and that's when I simply take her hand and bring her back to her bed. I explain that she needs to have a nap in order to play longer later - this seems to understood for the most part.

This weekend is far worse than the last. I find myself losing patience in getting her to nap - I understand how important it is but she doesn't want to. So I reached out for some answers. I was sure that this can't be just MY child. The one who never ever had a sleep problem up to now. The child who was in a regular day bed at only 18mths old! No, this couldn't be.

I came across some suggestions although they were geared for older toddlers (closer to three years old) but doesn't hurt to try.

First, it was suggested to drop the whole "Nap Time" and call it "Quiet Time" instead. This is understood by giving your child a book or puzzle to have in their bed with the lights off and curtains drawn closed. Eventually, they might nod off on their own but will definitely have the calm down time they need to recharge. I love this idea! Its true....whenever I said nap time to Adriana she would refuse by saying "No nap Mommy". I tried to explain that she needed it but it seemed to make it worst! Definitely changing up my choice of words.

Second, if your little one is still having 2 naps but they're shorter in length every time - try switching to just one solid nap instead. Except to have a cranky baby for a few days while they adjust to a single nap time but they should sleep for a solid 2hrs during this time. I remember Adriana was NOT a happy camper and some nights went to bed a little earlier than normal while she adjusted. Within 1 week she was a happy camper again with a regular bed time 730-8pm and only one nap for 2hrs; sometimes a little longer!

The last suggestion I found was to settle your little one with a good lunch and a quiet movie that will hopefully make them pass out. Perhaps a movie they already saw so they wont force them self to stay awake through it all. Don't forget to give the whole movie experience by darkening the room and cuddling up on the couch or in their bed. We have movies on our tablet which is really easy for Adriana to hold comfortably. Its usually the same movie but she loves it and we don't mind letting her handle the tablet - she's pretty good at holding it steady!

Although, I don't think Adriana is entirely ready to not have a nap at all. I do believe she needs less of one - at least 30 to 45mins of quiet time. I hope this changes our routine for the better. I cannot stress how frustrating it is to get her to nap! I end up looking forward to getting her in bed at night and I feel its rushed instead of enjoyed like before.

I am thankful that our night time routine is bang on. Adriana sleeps from 8pm (give or take) until 7am (give or take) without waking up. Unless she has a cough, then I can hear wake up but quickly settle herself back to sleep. We were never the parents who ran to her every noise she made or even every cry. Of course we woke up but if it wasn't a concern (baby monitor was loud enough to hear everything) I would not go to her. To reassure myself - still do it to this day - before I go to bed every few nights, I will open her door just to see her sleeping. She's so peaceful and quiet - best sight after a long day.

I have been enjoying the amount of growing Adriana has done. It really has been a journey! I'm proud to say that I truly enjoy every moment of having a child. She is my world!
 

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

Bon Vayage

The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me! The amount of bittersweet moments in this short time is more than ever in my life. First we celebrated the long awaited return of my sister and soon to be brother in law. Now we are "celebrating" a new chapter for my other sister and her husband. My use of quotation marks is because its not really a celebration. Although I'm happy for her and her husband to start this new journey, I'm sad to see her leave.

Jill has been a great help with Adriana. Picking her up from daycare when we needed her, watching her so we can have a date night, and even just playing with her to give us a short break! It was nice to have her close by too - Newfoundland isn't so close. This will be an interesting journey for them though. I think Jill always felt more "at home" there since we visited one summer in highschool. I remember her saying that she was coming back for sure. Of course we didn't believe her but after 4years of university she returned home. I thought that was good enough until she continued to go back every year in the summer since then.

This past summer's vacation with Adriana must have been eye opening for her. She did more sightseeing than normal and I guess it made her realize that Newfoundland really was home for her. A little while after our trip, she told me she wants to move there. I wasn't that surprised but wasn't sure if her husband would make the big move. A few weeks later she told me her house was going on the market, he was transferring his job and they were going to move to NFLD, officially.

I'm glad she's doing what makes her happy!! I think the lifestyle in NFLD is more her style instead of the big city life. She likes to work and relax - that's it. Nothing wrong with that either! She will be more at ease in that environment and maybe really settle down with a family next! I wish her and her husband all the best and a safe road trip. Can't wait for Skype dates!!

On another note, I think I might either be going crazy or things are getting real with Adriana! I haven't quite figured it out whether she's talking more clearly or I'm understanding her gibberish more. I'd like to say the latter was a joke but seriously.....at 21mths old she is saying full sentences!! The other day she said as clearly as anything "Auntie Kimmy, what are you doing?" I had to stop and stare at her for a moment before I repeated and answered her question. Impressive if you ask me!

I've read all the guidelines for a toddler and she is definitely above the average. Honestly, we don't do anything different than most parents. We read to her, colour, sing, dance, and watch TV with her. She seems to grasp things more easily now too; repeating people a lot. So watch what you say around Adriana - 9 times out of 10 she will repeat it! *yikes*

I'm jumping ahead a little - all the way to Christmas. I cannot wait!! She is going to love Christmas just like I always did as a kid. I started a Toys R Us Wish List under her name to keep track of some ideas I find for her. I will have to make room for toys in her room too. Looks like I will donate them to a charity or the Thrift store in town. I would never just throw out toys!! I always try to see if friends need them first since I'd rather them go to someone I know and needs it. However, I am big on donating and wish there was a toybank that would come pick up this stuff!! I don't get rid of everything though. I try to keep certain things that have a meaning to us. Her books will most likely never go anywhere.

We always talked about having a good library for her to read whenever she wanted. Reading feeds the mind and creates imagination. It is possibly the best thing you can do for your child. We are also a bit old fashioned when it comes to reading - we prefer the actual books instead of ebooks. Of course she knows how to use a tablet, but its much better for her to sit and actually flip the pages of a good book! When she's old enough, I would love her to read my absolutely favourite classic book: Little Women.

Yes, Christmas shopping has commenced. Don't judge me. Working full time means I don't have time to go to the mall whenever I want anymore lol So I've started some online shopping! Mostly ordering clothes for Adriana and will put away until the big day. I will have more room in the storage when the tree is up! Ohhh I can't wait!!


What is your favourite holiday?
How will you be spending it this year?
Do you think we will have a white Christmas?
When do you start shopping and why?

Thankfulness of a Mommy

Have you ever had a moment to stop and think about everything that you have? Your entire life including friends and family? It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and there is plenty for me to be thankful for. I have had an interesting year full of ups and downs. We were blessed with a beautiful daughter who continues to grow and learn daily. She is beyond our expectations of everything!

More recently, I am thankful for having my older sister back. Its been tough without her around. Although it was an experience of a lifetime for her and her fiance, I don't think I could go another year without her! It will be a lot of catching up in the coming weeks and I can't wait to plan her wedding with her.
I am thankful for my other sister for making a big move - thinking about her happiness - across Canada. She is going where her heart takes her and I'm happy for her and her husband!! Its not easy to pick up everything and leave your family but she knows what makes her happy! I am definitely going to miss her but knowing its where her heart wants to be - I'm happy for her :)

My family has had some changes and this weekend I am thankful for them more than ever. We have been given opportunities to jump start a great life and plan for the future. I am very thankful for those opportunities!! I believe they were a long time coming and now everything is falling into place very nicely. I will be continuing school in January, which means I will be graduating that program by April and can move on to the next one. We have a hardcore savings program in place to help us toward some personal goals.


What are you thankful for this year?
Have you set your goals (I don't believe in New Year Resolutions)?
What do you eat for Thanksgiving?
Share your recipes below!