Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.

Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.

When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already. 

Slow Down, Mummy

At times we feel there's not enough time in the day to experience the things we want. Every parent, at one point, wished for more time to play with their kids or read them another book before bed or watch the rest of their favourite show with them. We rush around wanting more without considering Quality over Quantity. Its not about spending the ENTIRE day with your little one, its about what  you do with your time.

I realize even more that Adriana is older and playing in her room all day may only last for a few hours now. The trips to the mall only result in one super tired mommy and daddy. So what do we do? I've started to plan specific activities for the weekend (on a Saturday or Sunday). In the Fall, she was swimming once a week and loved it! Now that its a bit cold - that's not going to cut it. I am making a list of activities so we can get out and keep her active while this winter brutally sweeps through! Activities must be indoors (unless its sledding....then its okay!) and they must consist of other kids. This is not necessarily a social thing for us but more to keep her occupied  and consume some of her day. Here are a few ideas:

1. Fun Swim - some community centers still offer a fun swim on the weekends. Check your city for a listing of centers in your area

2. Tea Time - Depending on how well behaved your child is in public, you could take them for a cup of tea at the local coffee shop. The ladies at the one near us absolutely love Adriana! She enjoys the time out, the tea, and of course the free cookie!

3. Play centers - Ontario Early Years Centers are free and several within many area. Check the schedule before you go to ensure the program is age appropriate for your baby. They offer a great program called Mother Goose which is for 9mth-18mth old. Some locations are open on Saturdays as well as later during the week.

4. Micheal's Kids Krafts - Every weekend they offer great crafts for different age groups. The classes are about 45mins-1hr and get to take the craft home with them. Its a great way to explore their art abilities while working next to children around the same age.

5. Play Place - We have a few around our area (i.e. Might Jungle) which have a younger kids area for toddlers. You do have to supervise your own child but its a great way for your little one to blow off some energy!

6. Chuck E Cheese - seriously.......I was absolutely exhausted after 2hrs and the kids were not even playing for the whole time! It was worth every penny for Adriana's birthday just to see her have so much fun! Probably not something to do every weekend but definitely give it a try.

7. Live show - This one could be tricky if your child doesn't have much of an attention span. Spend the extra money and get them their own seat to watch. We are looking at taking Adriana to Mickeys Rockin Road Show thats coming up. She absolutely loves Disney characters so I know she'll love the whole show. Its not as cheap as a movie but definitely an experience we'd love to try with her soon!


I try to remind myself to forget the dishes.....forget the laundry....and just play with her for a little while. She appreciates that so much more than a clean kitchen. Even if that means I have to stay awake a little longer to get the clothes in the dryer before bed. She is totally worth it. If I'm having a rough day - I better get over it quickly so she doesn't see Mommy sad or mad. Its just not worth it at the end of the day. When I am sad - I ask Adriana for a hug. She's so affectionate and doesn't ask why - which can sometimes make it worst. A hug does wonders and if she throws in a face grabbing kiss...even better!!

To All my Mommy readers....I leave you with a poem that I read every so often just to remind myself of the truly important things in the life of a parent. Its easy to forget sometimes in the crazy world. We need to just stop, breathe and reset our priorities. Just Slow Down, Mummy....

Happy 2nd Birthday Adriana!!

I can't believe it's here!! Adriana is finally two years old and its more than I had hoped for. All week I've been trying to explain its her birthday soon but all she kept saying was "Happy Holidays, Mommy!" As cute as that was, I really wanted to separate her birthday from Christmas as much as possible.

Adriana  had amazing Christmas, no doubt, but her birthday just put her over the top on the excitement scale. What kid doesn't love Chuck E Cheese? Yeah that's right....we went to the craziest place for kids!! I had to do something to keep her and a few kiddies entertained for a few hours without having to clean up the mess. That was key.

Each kid got pizza and juice plus we brought a cupcake-cake! It was much easier to hand out as cupcakes - chocolate cupcakes of course. They also each got a bunch of tokens to play all the games with. Adriana was all over this game where you move the basket to catch the balls randomly popping up. She road a mechanically horse, took a ride in a monster truck with her cousin and tried to take a picture with Mommy and Daddy.

Although it was a bit crazy with another 5 or 6 birthdays happening at the same time, I think the kids had fun! The people who did come to her birthday she absolutely loves seeing. Her cousins, Aunts and Uncles, Nana and of course Gran and Gradad - plus her few friends she does have. I'm sure when she goes to school in another few years there will be more kids than adults, but for now I appreciate the smaller costs!! It was worth every penny to just watch her blow out her candles.

Adriana is a very lucky girl in every single way. She has a great support system - surrounded by people who truly love her! Christmas was just a starter for her  - spoiled as usual - then a short 10days later she is spoiled again on her birthday party. She got tons of clothes (which she really needed because she grows like a weed!!) puzzles, books, dolls, and a tricycle!!

She may be a little young still for a tricycle but she has to learn somewhere! She reaches the peddles nicely but needs to work on her leg muscles in order to really push off. So far we've let her "ride" it around the living room and her bedroom. She clearly picked up her first passenger in the back basket - her new Aurora doll! She really wants to ride it and I'd like to start teaching her this Spring so we can go for bike rides together. Of course, I will have to get a bike as well once she's had a lot of practice! Until then we can ride down to the park and let her go along the path by herself.

I have to admit that all weekend I was a bit emotional. Seems fairly reasonable since my baby girl is ANOTHER year old now. Two years have gone by since we were first blessed on that cold Thursday morning. I never forget the range of emotions that filled me over the first few days....weeks.....months....and now years. Adriana is truly a unique child to me. I have babysat several kids of all ages and been around friends babies and cousins. I know that she is above average and perhaps she will plateau with other children's learning ability. Perhaps she will continue to surpass my expectations.

Its been an amazing adventure with Adriana! She is talking so much and clearer every day. She understands concepts and even reminds me of the ones we have mentioned before to her. She remembers a lot and is just a happy kid!

Today - her officially birthday - we went up to Starbucks for tea and a cookie. We continued down the street to the store and we saw a little boy walking towards us. I pointed out that he was another big kid like her because she's not a baby anymore. She corrected me and said he was a little boy and she was a little girl. How very true she was! Its moments like that which make me smiles - she gets it....she gets so much more than we realize!!

My Dear Adriana,
        Mommy and Daddy love you so much!!! You are a very special little girl who has absolutely changed our lives in every way. Your sweetness shines through your constant hugs and kisses. Your thank-yous, pleases, and I love yous totally make our day. Although you're high energy and girly squeals may give Mommy/Daddy a headache

WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!

Happy Birthday Adriana! To many more years of celebrating, many more hugs and kisses and never ending love!!!

Happy New Year

To My Readers:

           I wish you all the best in the New Year. This is a fresh start to truly make another year memorable. This is your time to shine, set new goals and achieve or even exceed those goals! Make your mark with no regrets.

I have made a point to set my goals a few months ago and work out the plan (in different scenarios) to achieve them. I am a well organized person but feel that there's always room for improvement. I want to make myself a reflection for my daughter by bettering my life and setting goals. She is my everything - two years ago I remember telling myself everything changes from now on. Slowly but surely it has.

2013 has brought some sad moments (I think of Leah all the time....) and more happy moments. I have grown as a person but even more as a mother. I realize the amount of love a child truly requires - even when Mommy is sick or exhausted or busy. Slow down, Mommy. My time with Adriana has been amazing. Most parents never want their child to grow up but I haven't missed a beat. It only gets better! I have some aspirations for her - not expectations. Adriana is a unique child who will clearly soar in life. She is full of energy and life (with a few toddler moments lol) I may have a biased opinion here...but she is one very smart child for her age. Her love for books, puzzles, and dolls makes her just like any other kid. But her ability to grasp concepts, words, things, etc is amazing. I hope Adriana continues on this path - we, as parents, will encourage her as much as we can.

It truly is a blessing to become a parent. There are women who are not able to have babies and end up having miracles - Georgie, I'm thinking of you. Its a beautiful and touching thing when you know that person always wanted the Mommy title; that person who would completely excel at being one too! I'm old fashioned when it comes to being a Mommy. I don't think its necessarily a duty but definitely something women should really consider. The modern world has made it more acceptable to women choosing to not have kids at all. I respect that - it must have taken a lot to make that decision and share it with your family or spouse. Essentially, its also the reason some relationships fail. Becoming a parent isn't the "norm" anymore - many couples are opting not to have children for various reasons.

I remember great words said to me a few times these past few month. Words that really opened my eyes to things and settled a piece of my mind. It was words that I probably had heard before but never meant anything. These words sit well with me and I think it should be 2014 's motto. I hope they carry great meaning with you and help you through the rough and the good that comes in a new year....
" I Wish You Enough " - LS