We Moved Downtown

This has been planned since the beginning of the year - to move into a condo together. We each set out our needs and then compared; most of them were the same! Back in March we started looking, reached out to a rental agent to double up on the search for the "perfect" condo. We knew we would like to move in June or July because that was close to when Patrick's current condo lease would be up. We had a (what we thought) was a generous budget that we could live comfortably and still travel.

That last part was the biggest factor for not renting a house. Not only did we only need 2bedrooms but we also didn't want to spend the extra few hundred and with no amenities. Condo life was what we were headed for.

We looked online for about 2 weeks, just casually browsing through every website I knew of including Kijiji. I came across this beautiful listing that literally had every single one of our check points and fell UNDER budget. The best part - it was in Patrick's current building on a higher floor. Is this for real? I had to jump on it so I sent him the listing and asked if he had a minute to call them because I was busy at work. Withing the next 30minutes Patrick called me and said "We have to go tonight...at 6pm" Deal!

Later that night after we viewed the condo, we sat down and filled out the paperwork. We were both filled with excitement when we left and didn't want to wait - it was a GREAT deal! It literally was the most ideal option for us as we were familiar with the building, area, etc. That was a Thursday, by Saturday we got the phone call that it was ours. I cried. He hugged me. We celebrated with dinner and wine, of course.

We spent the next few months packing up and planning the best way to tackle it - Patrick ended up having his knee surgery booked for the day we got the keys but it was necessary. I got this, no worries! We were able to start on a Wednesday to move any of the small stuff or things we could take apart easily to bring up in the elevator - Patrick was on the 12th floor, we moved to the 26th floor! That helped a HUGE amount. Friends moved most of it for me - at least the big stuff - while i tackled Adriana's room.

Over the last few months we took her shopping to pick out a few things that would make her room - HERS. She got a new bed, bedding, pillows, etc. (Thank you, IKEA, for your in expensive and uniquely designed furniture). Adriana loved making the big decisions for her room and she hadn't even seen it yet!

The plan is to spend all day today building her bed and preparing her room for when she comes tomorrow. Her dresser and toys will come on the weekend with her clothes but at least most of the decor will be done beforehand. I can't wait!! She has this fabulous view of City Hall and Celebration Square (corner windows). With such a fun room, I hope she enjoys her own space - I know we will enjoy ours on the other side of the apartment!

This is a huge step - Moving into a downtown condo with my boyfriend and Adriana. I didn't think I would ever get to this point in our life this fast. I held on to the hope that everything will work out; that my time will come to be where I've wanted to be for awhile. I believe that my ability to keep pushing forward no matter what is what got us here. I never gave up, not once. I refuse to let anything or anyone hold me back from what we deserve. We have our own space - shared with a very patient, caring and loving man. I can't wait for  the next big thing for us. We eventually want to buy a house in a few years time but for now renting is what's calling our name!

Adriana turns 5yrs old

I have a FIVE year old. Five!

When the heck did five years go by so fast. OK to be honest, I knew this day was coming and I knew at some time I would have this reaction.

It wasnt when she turned one; I loved watching her grow, hit the milestones, etc. It wasnt the year after or the one after that. Instead it hit me when I realized all the teachings from birth to now, all the challenges, all the blessings, long nights, laughs, memories...they all lead up to her turning 5yrs old. What's that saying...

"The years before five last the rest of their lives"

How so very true. So here is to hoping I've instilled some great values, taught her morals, and of course manners, over the years. I hope that she never loses that sassiness. That she stands up for herself, when she doesn't agree with something. I hope she remembers right from wrong. I hope she makes good choices most of the time. And when she doesn't, I hope she learns a lesson for next time.

Dear Adriana,
I hope today was special for you - I try every year to show you the love and support that is around you every day. Family and friends who are part of your life to help you grow and be the best you can be. I love you baby girl - my one and only! You have taught me so much. You remind me to laugh more, imagine the biggest and brightest things, you are stubborn (but I still love it!). After these 5yrs with you, I can't wait for many more!!

Loves you tons and tons Babes!

It's been awhile...

Truthfully, I have tried to post many times over the years but I couldn't find the right words. Knowing you are going to be a Mommy is one thing - you know it will change your life forever, you know there will be challenges and even better times ahead. You never expect to be a single parent though.

There are challenges in life where you are tested by every pull in the universe. You hold on to what you have with every ounce of strength you have left. You refuse to just give up. You refuse to be beaten down. You refuse to accept what's really happening. You know there are things you just simply cannot control and that is the start of a new journey.
That moment when you accept the inevitable and start thinking of ways to rebuild around all of it - its that moment you feel the weight of everything start to lift off your shoulders. You find peace in life when you stop fighting (literally) with the inevitable.
It was never planned in any way shape or form that I would be doing this parenting thing this way. I don't think anyone actually wants to do it by themselves. It comes down to happiness - I was not happy and couldn't continue being that way just so Adriana can have both her parents together. She still has both of us and always will.
When I first wanted to be a Mommy, I was so confident in myself to do it with or without someone by my side. I never changed my thoughts or views on that and to this day I know I am a good Mommy despite the changes these last few years.
This is not a bashing to Dad's out there or a sob story. Its my personal feelings which I keep personal. Take this as an update.
One of my favourite poems is Footprints in the Sand. It holds such true meaning to me ever since I was a little kid in Elementary school. Its a reminder to always have faith in what will be even when you don't think you will make it. Know that there is always a God to help "carry" you along. This comes in many different forms: friends, family, animals, etc.

(Late) Spring Cleaning Time

This year is off to a late start in regards to a lot of things. We were still getting snow in April for Christ sake! Regardless of how it happened - its now Spring Cleaning Month for my family. I have to start writing out my list instead of keeping it in my head all the time! The backyard is going to be the biggest project, I think. The amount of branches that have fallen from all the winter storms (thanks Mother Nature!) its absolutely disastrous back there. Throw in the size of it and we have our work cut out for us! Once the branches are gone then it will be easier - cut the grass, pick up the rest of the leaves, plant a garden, etc. Its still fairly cool outside which is better than doing all this work in the scorching heat!

I've been on the hunt for the perfect pool for Adriana. I'm still gun-ho on getting more than just a wading pool with 4inches of water but the boyfriend doesn't seen it as beneficial. Clearly we need to make more trips to Wal-Mart together! Adriana loves swimming and has a life jacket so if we did get a bigger one, she would get lots of use out of a bigger pool rather than a smaller one. Plus we could use it more too when its really hot out. A quick dip to cool us off. He fears the dog will put a hole in it.

   

Nothing crazy - this one is 12'x30" and has a cover you buy separately. This will help keep the leaves and sticks out when we're not using it. I think it will be worth every penny of the $170 price tag (plus cover). I have never had a pool (I've always lived near a public pool or had friends who had one) and I would like to keep encouraging Adriana to swim. She will start swimming lessons again in the Fall!

I cleaned out Adriana's room (2 garbage bags later) and now she has a decent size room again! Next tackle is her closet. I have to fish out what still fits her and what doesn't anymore so we can make room for some new stuff. She already has some shorts and t shirts to get her started. Thanks to her Gran she also has some sandals and water shoes too! Our storage was converted from a small third bedroom and I still don't have enough space to keep everything!! Time to make the trip to the Goodwill then or....hello friends?

I can't wait for the summer!! I have some sweet days planned for Adriana and I this year (and if Daddy can get the days off work too). As long as she has her naps - we're golden. I have a shopping trip planned, zoo trip, movie date, swimming and cottage trip so far. I enjoy traveling with her because shes a people watcher and enjoys being on the go. Typical toddler. I refuse to sit inside all summer, sometimes walking down to the park or feeding the ducks - those are good things for the Spring and Fall but not summer! I may even look into a camping trip....oh do I dare?

Adriana wants to learn how to fish but I'm not sure she has the patience to make it through a round of fishing! She would end up scaring all the fish away. The boyfriend wants to teach her and I say Good Luck to you sir! I love fishing, just never had much time to continue it when life happened. He can teach her while I do my own fishing. Pretty sure it was my dad who taught me how to fish - although I'm not very good at it lol

What plans do you have with your kids this summer?

Do you travel with them on road trips? To where?

How to take the Pacifier away?

This is the long dreaded question for parents usually after they're toddler hits 2 years old. By this time they have been comfortably gnawing on a plasticy rubber pacifier for some time - whether just at nap and bed time or all day long. Its been your go-to during those tantrums, fevers, colic, etc. just to get them to settle down. Now you're thinking its time to take the next big-kid step of losing the suckie....nummie, paci, sook, baba - whatever you call it. Have no fear fellow parents - I have compiled a list of ideas to do it smoothly!!

Last (long) weekend we made the big step to start taking it away. Adriana was really attached to it, but only at nap and bed time. She was always really good about it otherwise. We knew we had to be clever about it, taking it away cold turkey wasn't going to go lightly with her. We had to out smart a toddler. I know....crazy? Trust me!

A few suggests I found for losing the pacifier was to reward them with a gift in place of it. I didn't like this for Adriana as it was merely just a distraction from the cold turkey method. Adriana has a fantastic memory and although the gift would be ok for a day or two - she would definitely remember it after the hype settled on the new toy.

Another idea I found was to send it off to the "Pacifier Fairies" who would bring it to a new baby who needs it. This is a sweet idea especially if there's another baby on the way! However, Adriana would simply call herself the baby and keep it for herself. Pacifier Fairy - fail.

So what was I left to do?
Snip it.
 

Yes - that's right. I snipped the tip of the pacifier just a little at first and a little more the next day. Eventually, Adriana didn't want it anymore and I was able to throw them all in the garbage! The first night she pulled it back out and knew something changed but took it anyways. The second night she repeatedly kept telling the boyfriend it was broken and to fix it, but went to sleep anyways. The next night she asked to hold it and the same the following night.

On Tuesday, the boyfriend worked late so Mommy didn't even offer the pacifier to her....and she didn't ask for it. I simply put her to bed with her blankie and that was it. The next night was the same thing - that's when I through them all in the garbage! She had been going to daycare and napping without one as well. Adriana is almost 28mths old now and has no pacifier anymore :)

Operation Goodbye Suckie.....SUCCESS!!


How do you plan to take the pacifier away when its time?
What age do you think it ideal for removing?
Did you use the "Pacifier Fairy" method? How did it work?

The Reality of Parenting

Lately, I have been reading some really interesting post about view from different sides of Motherhood. To be honesty, its completely entertaining to me! These posts are women, Mommies, justifying their life choices to the "other side" of parenthood. I saw one from the Stay at Home Mom to the Working Mom (and vice versa) but my favourite is one from a working mom to Gwenyth Paltrow....

You have to read this fellow Mommies (and even Daddies!)I'm not here to bash Gwen (although i'm offended by her comments) I just feel that her reference should have been more comparable. I completely appluad MacKenzie for her sarcasm, her narsicistic comments about what being a Mommy is really about when you have an office job, not a movie star. I love her over the top references to mother groups, of drinking bellinis, babysitters, and leisurely lifestyle - i LOLed.

I dont think I have ever laughed so hard when reading Scary Mommy's post of her shot of reality in Motherhood. She blantly tells you about her breaking point as a mother. We all have them....yes more than one and for several years! I can relate to some degree. I dont have nearly as many children as she does!! However I do let things bottle up and the smallest thing will set me off. I understand that becoming a parent means you signed up for the unknown things too, not just the good stuff. Yes there are times when I feel less appreciated, less special, less loved. Those are the days I simply tell myself - We will try again tomorrow.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies - although Adriana really a good kid...sometimes she lets her toddler show. You know the times they refuse to let anything go right - at all. Mornings for us consist of the same thing Monday thru Friday. Same time, same tv shows, same routine - yet every so often, Adriana decides to switch it up and fall out of routine. Its frustrating to keep her focused on getting ready (no you may not bring the BIGGEST toy to daycare...*insert tantrum here*) Shes usually really good but those days that dont work out just make my day worst from the get go. Imagine if I had 3 kids?? ....sorry Mom lol

I mention it time and time again...your kids pick up on your feelings. Keep them in check, stay calm, and keep over reactions at bay - save them for closed doors. I'm not saying dont show emotion around your kids - just choose wisely. After dinner tonight, my head was pounding.I simply held my forehead in my hand while Adriana finished her crackers. She asked if I was okay and I told her yeah my head just hurts. All she said was "I kiss it better Mommy?" melted my heart.....she believes a kiss makes everything better and shes partially right. Later she did kiss my head and tellme all better. Headache gone.

Our children are more observant than we realize sometimes. Pay more attention to why they do certain things and be aware of your own actions at the same time. You will see what I'm talking about. You will start to see the change in behaviours on both side. Maybe you will be able to create some more patience too!


What things do you do as a parent to help an emotional toddler

Spring is Just Around the Corner

There comes a time when we all must give up our toys. I shamefully admit I have kept pretty much ever toy Adriana has ever had - up until now. In my defence she never really played with many until after 6mths and even then time was spent outside instead. She will definitely hold on to her books...we are creating a collection for her. Some of her toys we will keep for the next baby - common first toys anyways.

A few things she doesn't really play with anymore - MegaBlocks(or legos), Some dolls, rattles, play yard mats, etc. She has them all in bins but never pulls them out! So its time to get rid of them and by that I mean give to my Mommy friends! I would hate to throw them out and they're still in really good condition.

With Spring (hopefully) around the corner, we can pull out some of her other toys - new bike and her wagon! I am really thinking about setting up a swing set out back. I know we have a park down the street but it would be even easier if there was one in our backyard. Wal-Mart has them on sale but would require some clean up of the backyard first and full essembly. I think we should do it!!

This year we are going to fully utilize our backyard. Adriana is getting a pool for here and her own chair to lounge in the sun. With me working closer to home, it would be nice to be able to do more here instead of running around everywhere. We have he BBQ and patio sets - just need a clean up and we have a fire pit too!

Its nice to live close to things if we need them but to be honest i'd rather stay home and have fun with the boyfriend and Adriana. It will be easier for us too since potty training time is coming again. Last bottle has been dropped from the routine....so far 1 night and shes done well. I really can't wait! She has started to show interest again but  of course we don't want to push it. She really has a good sense of when she has to go pee and LOVES "big girl" underwear. Time will tell ;)

Mommy Fear, You are Not Alone

I am reminded this week of my early days (weeks and even months) as a new parent. The amount of questions going through my head would leave me with headaches at times, but I've made it this far! I can't say my headaches have gone away, but the amount of questions have become less frequent. 

What changed?

I started to believe more in myself, more in my ability to be the best darn mom I could be for Adriana. I realized that I needed to trust my intuition more often and curb my anxiety. I told myself " I got this!" several times and I believed it most of the time.

Of course there were tears along the way, they made me stronger. There were moments of anger, that made me strong too. Its all part of the process of learning to be a mom or dad for the first time. 

I had a few friends that were already Mommies (or Daddies) who I would reach out to for confirmation that I was doing it "right" <--the quotes are because there isn't really a right or a wrong way...everyone has their suggestions for raising kids. Everything from how to feed them to how to dress them. Hold your ground.

I am not like most Mommies - I am not one who constantly runs after her child like a maniac or yells.Yes you read that right - I don't yell. Whats the point? I am saving my breath for when she's older! Your child isn't the best listener to WHAT you say but rather HOW you say things. Adriana is a soft spoken child for the most part - we dont raise our voices to communicate. Even before she turned 2yrs old she knew what an inside voice was. Thats more than most adults!

I may take a more relaxed approached to parenting but Adriana is really good kid. Not that she doesn't have rules - she has plenty and she follows them. I step in when she doesnt but its nice when everyone around her is on the same page too. If she acts out and we're not around, we expect the adult to say something to her! There have been times she's acted out and someone else had to remind her about her behaviour. We don't play the game that if Mommy or Daddy isnt around she can do whatever she wants.

I have faith in Adriana's ability. I truly believe when she wants to something let her try first. If she can't then show her how andlet her practice. I think its important to be independent and most parents would think I'm crazy. I want her to learn....isn't that part of being a parent? Teaching her things when she wants to instead of forcing it later. Its really paying off considering she knows how to dress herself (although pulling the shirt over her head is a bit difficult still).

This post wasn't meant to suggest how toparent but rather teach you that everyone does it differently. Not everything has to be by the book. Do it your way -- you know your child best! You have to trust yourself and know that you're not alone. That second guessing will go away as time goes on. Trust yourself, you know how to care for someone because you took care of yourself for years.

When you're really stuck, don't be afraid to talkto someone. Try not to hold it all in because guaranteed someone else has been there already. 

Top 10: Comments or Questions You Get When You're Pregnant

I was reminiscing about when I was pregnant and how wonderful it was....when I didn't have someone making absurd comments or inappropriate questions. If you've been pregnant (or currently) you know what I'm talking about. Perhaps, at times, those individuals didn't realize WHAT they were saying or asking. Maybe it was the WAY they said it? Regardless, we have all been there. I have compiled a list of my favourite ones. Some you may be able to relate to and others may be a one off.

1. "You look like you're ready to POP!".....when you're only just starting your third trimester. These people really do mean well, although they don't show it by this comment. Its basically on the list of Tradition Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman.

2. "You and your husband must be so excited" Umm....don't jump to conclusions people - 2014 and not everyone gets married before having kids. I can't tell you how many times people would be surprised when I said boyfriend. Which usually lead to "Is he the father?" People kill me.

3. "Was it planned or an....err...oops?" This question really makes me laugh. I mean it happens to some people but most people do plan for these things. I can predict when this one is coming too.....its usually after they say #2.

4. "What about your dog?" People, just because there's a baby coming home doesn't mean we have to get rid of our pets. We got this question A LOT because of Tyson - people just couldn't understand how a 7yr old Rottweiler could ever learn to be around a baby. We spent a lot of time getting him used to the baby things and smell. We never every pushed him away! Basically his routine didn't change with us - that's how we did it. Read more about How to Introduce Your Dog to the Baby

5. "You are eating for two now" this is just a ridiculous one that we ALL hear! Its usually from Captain Obvious who also points out that you're belly is getting bigger. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't stuff your face with a giant greasy cheese burger. I did it several times! Of course its important to take your vitamins and eat your fruits and veggies - but if you want a cheeseburger...then eat a cheeseburger. Not because you're pregnant but because you WANT TO.

6. ANY comment about breastfeeding. Most people look at this as a "normal" thing to bring up - negative. This is no one's concern but the Mommy and Daddy. I had it asked a lot, of course I wanted to try to breastfeed Adriana but it doesn't always work out. No biggie. Apparently my relax attitude boggled people.

7. "How much weight have you gained?" This is simple no ones business but the Mommy and the Doctor. If she wishes to share then fine but never ever ever ask a pregnant woman how much weight she's gained. Try rephrasing the question "Is your baby growing?" or something along those lines.

8. "Pregnant Crazy" ok so this might actually be a real thing but you don't comment on it  unless your are able to back it up with very detailed facts....or you're my sister (thanks Kim!). Otherwise, shut it. We already know we're a little (lol) nuts but we don't need anyone to point it out anymore than we know. It happens to the best of us - some longer than others.

9. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Seriously people, all a Mommy wants is a healthy baby and depending on how far along she is...she wants that healthy baby OUT! Otherwise there's not really a preference on whether it s a boy or girl.

10. "You must be having Twins....Triples....etc" How could you possibly know that unless you're my doctor. Since you're not.....shut it. I was told a hundred times that I was going to have twins because I am a twin (that is possible! but no) Given these comments were made in humour and at the very beginning of my pregnancy so it wasn't as bad. I found it very funny actually since I specifically as the ultrasound technician to check all the way over to my side and my doctor to feel for one sac. No twins. I win.



Share your crazy questions and comments below
How did you react?
Were they family, friend, coworker or stranger?

A Man's Best Friend

Everyone has heard the saying before. It's nothing knew, but it does hold true feelings tonight. My dog is my best friend - hes our baby boy, a part of the family, and one if a kind. He is Tyson, the rottweiler. 

Those of you who have pets understand exactly what I mean. Even those who dont have pets can understand in some way. We all love someone (or something) as if it was one of our children. We snuggle with it, hold on tight to it. We care for it when it needs caring and take pictures to keep as memories.

A fantastic thing about a pets love is that its very similar to a parents true love. Its completely unconditional, at its truest form, pure. Our pets are one of a kind to us. They show you compassion at just the right times, even when you least expect it.

Tonight I took myself back to when I was pregnant with Adriana. At the time I found his behaviour odd but the next morning it all made sense. Not to say Tyson wasnt a very affectionate dog - sometimes a little TOO affectionate if thats possible - he showed more of a protective comforting attitude. He stayed by my side that entire night, not leaving for anything. With his back slipped just partially under the bed on the floor next to me, he stayed all night long. He was still there the next morning, right by my side, as I realized my water had broke....

Tyson knew it was going to happen. He knew before I had any clue that Adriana was on her way to this crazy world. He comforted me through my back pain while at home. He laid outside the bathroom door while I soothed my back with a hot shower. He sat next to me while I rocked away the stinging sharp pains that shot up my body. He offered reassurance that everything was going to be alright by just being there.

It was still early, six A.M., the boyfriend was still sleeping and I didnt want to wake him. It quite possibly was his last solid nights sleep for a few months. Plus we had plenty of time before we were going to officially be parents - 24.5hrs to be exact!

Tyson has taught me to be more assertive, more consistent in life. Dont be afraid to stand up for yourself and take what you deserve in this world. He has taught me to be a kid (err...puppy?) at heart no matter how old you get. He reminds me to keep smiling no matter whats going on around us. He was my constant reminder that people can change and learn to adapt at any age.

He has proven that it was never the breed but in fact the owner who makes a dog good or bad. Rottweilers come with some hard opinions from people. Tyson proved them wrong. We took our 7yr old rotti and trained him to be kid friendly. A dog who had never been around kids before, turned out to be the best kind for Adriana.  She sees him in the most perfect and unbiased way. He is our dog, Tyson. Not just another Rottweiler.

He gave us a scare tonight - again. With old age comes medical problems and we have this far very lucky his issues are manageable. A few years ago we sat on the living room floor with him paralyzed in the back legs, truly believing this was our last night with him. The next morning he got up and walked. The last few days he has had a lump on his ear and would whimper if anyone touched it. Again, we believed he would go to the vet for the last time. He came home with a prescription and doctor said it was at the early stages of a hematoma; the pills will help reduce the size and pain. In the clear again, my friend.

Just when you think its his last time, he comes back. This dog is honestly my super dog. Im not sure how else I would explain it to Adriana if he didnt come home. She knows hes old and hes sick but thats about it. Shes only 2 so I dont expext her to know much more!

How would/did you expalin losing a pet to your child?
Did you tell them right away or wait?
How long before you got another pet?
We're you skeptical on getting the exact same type of pet?

Slow Down, Mummy

At times we feel there's not enough time in the day to experience the things we want. Every parent, at one point, wished for more time to play with their kids or read them another book before bed or watch the rest of their favourite show with them. We rush around wanting more without considering Quality over Quantity. Its not about spending the ENTIRE day with your little one, its about what  you do with your time.

I realize even more that Adriana is older and playing in her room all day may only last for a few hours now. The trips to the mall only result in one super tired mommy and daddy. So what do we do? I've started to plan specific activities for the weekend (on a Saturday or Sunday). In the Fall, she was swimming once a week and loved it! Now that its a bit cold - that's not going to cut it. I am making a list of activities so we can get out and keep her active while this winter brutally sweeps through! Activities must be indoors (unless its sledding....then its okay!) and they must consist of other kids. This is not necessarily a social thing for us but more to keep her occupied  and consume some of her day. Here are a few ideas:

1. Fun Swim - some community centers still offer a fun swim on the weekends. Check your city for a listing of centers in your area

2. Tea Time - Depending on how well behaved your child is in public, you could take them for a cup of tea at the local coffee shop. The ladies at the one near us absolutely love Adriana! She enjoys the time out, the tea, and of course the free cookie!

3. Play centers - Ontario Early Years Centers are free and several within many area. Check the schedule before you go to ensure the program is age appropriate for your baby. They offer a great program called Mother Goose which is for 9mth-18mth old. Some locations are open on Saturdays as well as later during the week.

4. Micheal's Kids Krafts - Every weekend they offer great crafts for different age groups. The classes are about 45mins-1hr and get to take the craft home with them. Its a great way to explore their art abilities while working next to children around the same age.

5. Play Place - We have a few around our area (i.e. Might Jungle) which have a younger kids area for toddlers. You do have to supervise your own child but its a great way for your little one to blow off some energy!

6. Chuck E Cheese - seriously.......I was absolutely exhausted after 2hrs and the kids were not even playing for the whole time! It was worth every penny for Adriana's birthday just to see her have so much fun! Probably not something to do every weekend but definitely give it a try.

7. Live show - This one could be tricky if your child doesn't have much of an attention span. Spend the extra money and get them their own seat to watch. We are looking at taking Adriana to Mickeys Rockin Road Show thats coming up. She absolutely loves Disney characters so I know she'll love the whole show. Its not as cheap as a movie but definitely an experience we'd love to try with her soon!


I try to remind myself to forget the dishes.....forget the laundry....and just play with her for a little while. She appreciates that so much more than a clean kitchen. Even if that means I have to stay awake a little longer to get the clothes in the dryer before bed. She is totally worth it. If I'm having a rough day - I better get over it quickly so she doesn't see Mommy sad or mad. Its just not worth it at the end of the day. When I am sad - I ask Adriana for a hug. She's so affectionate and doesn't ask why - which can sometimes make it worst. A hug does wonders and if she throws in a face grabbing kiss...even better!!

To All my Mommy readers....I leave you with a poem that I read every so often just to remind myself of the truly important things in the life of a parent. Its easy to forget sometimes in the crazy world. We need to just stop, breathe and reset our priorities. Just Slow Down, Mummy....

Average Growth of a Toddler

I hit that point in Mommyhood - where the parent finally realizes HOW big their child has gotten. Seriously, Adriana has grown so much since the summer that I just had to buy her a SECOND winter coat. Not because of  any other reason besides she had completely out grew her first one. During our NFLD trip she was wearing 18-24mths clothes and on her feet she had size 5 (straight into size 6 when we got back). During the Christmas she fit into 3T and just last week we have to buy her a size 4T (second) winter coat!

I didn't get the memo that a toddler grows THAT fast in such a short time.

So I did some research to see how Adriana squares up to the average kid. Since she was always above the average size (weight and height) I assume that would continue. Correct.

 

 Adriana has a doctor's appointment on Saturday and I'm dying to find out where she stands on the charts!

 She goes for her 2yr needles and its been 6mths since her last set of needles - the last time she was measured and weighed too. I have never hid that she gets needles. I simply explain the doctor takes care of her and it only hurts for a minute. Shes really good about it - Thank you Doc McStuffins!!

We are going back to potty training as well. She dropped off the interest block for a bit but has started to climb back up! Yay for Mommy (and Daddy!). Adriana got some big girl underwear for her birthday - Disney Princess! She really wants to wear them so we pull them on over her diaper and VOLA! happy little girl. I explained that if she learns to peepee on the toilet she could wear them without the diaper on - this totally peaked her interest!! 

So ladies and gents, its on.....everyone is on board (including daycare). I can't wait to be done with changing diapers. She has worn some pull ups to practice the up and down movement and she's done well :) I will keep the interest going right through great encouragement. Also, having everyone on board to help guide her to the success of being toilet trained will make things easier because we're leading by example. Everyone uses a toilet - soon to include Adriana!

*Update: Adriana is 32lbs putting her in the 85th percentile and stands 90cm high which makes her in the 95th percentile. She has always been up in this area for weight and height - actually 85th percentile is her lowest percentile yet! According to the doctor she is a healthy little girl who is very smart and beautiful. We left with a prescription for a minor ear infection (slight redness in the canal) - her first one ever! She's been verbal about her ear bothering her for a week now. I checked every night to see if I could see anything, nothing, so I let the doctor check. Adriana did really well during her check up! She was quiet, she opened her mouth wide for the doctor, she stood on the big girl scale and even stood to watch the doctor prepare a flu shot for another patient! Adriana was absolutely fascinated by the doctors office - possibly a future in medicine?

Happy 2nd Birthday Adriana!!

I can't believe it's here!! Adriana is finally two years old and its more than I had hoped for. All week I've been trying to explain its her birthday soon but all she kept saying was "Happy Holidays, Mommy!" As cute as that was, I really wanted to separate her birthday from Christmas as much as possible.

Adriana  had amazing Christmas, no doubt, but her birthday just put her over the top on the excitement scale. What kid doesn't love Chuck E Cheese? Yeah that's right....we went to the craziest place for kids!! I had to do something to keep her and a few kiddies entertained for a few hours without having to clean up the mess. That was key.

Each kid got pizza and juice plus we brought a cupcake-cake! It was much easier to hand out as cupcakes - chocolate cupcakes of course. They also each got a bunch of tokens to play all the games with. Adriana was all over this game where you move the basket to catch the balls randomly popping up. She road a mechanically horse, took a ride in a monster truck with her cousin and tried to take a picture with Mommy and Daddy.

Although it was a bit crazy with another 5 or 6 birthdays happening at the same time, I think the kids had fun! The people who did come to her birthday she absolutely loves seeing. Her cousins, Aunts and Uncles, Nana and of course Gran and Gradad - plus her few friends she does have. I'm sure when she goes to school in another few years there will be more kids than adults, but for now I appreciate the smaller costs!! It was worth every penny to just watch her blow out her candles.

Adriana is a very lucky girl in every single way. She has a great support system - surrounded by people who truly love her! Christmas was just a starter for her  - spoiled as usual - then a short 10days later she is spoiled again on her birthday party. She got tons of clothes (which she really needed because she grows like a weed!!) puzzles, books, dolls, and a tricycle!!

She may be a little young still for a tricycle but she has to learn somewhere! She reaches the peddles nicely but needs to work on her leg muscles in order to really push off. So far we've let her "ride" it around the living room and her bedroom. She clearly picked up her first passenger in the back basket - her new Aurora doll! She really wants to ride it and I'd like to start teaching her this Spring so we can go for bike rides together. Of course, I will have to get a bike as well once she's had a lot of practice! Until then we can ride down to the park and let her go along the path by herself.

I have to admit that all weekend I was a bit emotional. Seems fairly reasonable since my baby girl is ANOTHER year old now. Two years have gone by since we were first blessed on that cold Thursday morning. I never forget the range of emotions that filled me over the first few days....weeks.....months....and now years. Adriana is truly a unique child to me. I have babysat several kids of all ages and been around friends babies and cousins. I know that she is above average and perhaps she will plateau with other children's learning ability. Perhaps she will continue to surpass my expectations.

Its been an amazing adventure with Adriana! She is talking so much and clearer every day. She understands concepts and even reminds me of the ones we have mentioned before to her. She remembers a lot and is just a happy kid!

Today - her officially birthday - we went up to Starbucks for tea and a cookie. We continued down the street to the store and we saw a little boy walking towards us. I pointed out that he was another big kid like her because she's not a baby anymore. She corrected me and said he was a little boy and she was a little girl. How very true she was! Its moments like that which make me smiles - she gets it....she gets so much more than we realize!!

My Dear Adriana,
        Mommy and Daddy love you so much!!! You are a very special little girl who has absolutely changed our lives in every way. Your sweetness shines through your constant hugs and kisses. Your thank-yous, pleases, and I love yous totally make our day. Although you're high energy and girly squeals may give Mommy/Daddy a headache

WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!

Happy Birthday Adriana! To many more years of celebrating, many more hugs and kisses and never ending love!!!

Happy New Year

To My Readers:

           I wish you all the best in the New Year. This is a fresh start to truly make another year memorable. This is your time to shine, set new goals and achieve or even exceed those goals! Make your mark with no regrets.

I have made a point to set my goals a few months ago and work out the plan (in different scenarios) to achieve them. I am a well organized person but feel that there's always room for improvement. I want to make myself a reflection for my daughter by bettering my life and setting goals. She is my everything - two years ago I remember telling myself everything changes from now on. Slowly but surely it has.

2013 has brought some sad moments (I think of Leah all the time....) and more happy moments. I have grown as a person but even more as a mother. I realize the amount of love a child truly requires - even when Mommy is sick or exhausted or busy. Slow down, Mommy. My time with Adriana has been amazing. Most parents never want their child to grow up but I haven't missed a beat. It only gets better! I have some aspirations for her - not expectations. Adriana is a unique child who will clearly soar in life. She is full of energy and life (with a few toddler moments lol) I may have a biased opinion here...but she is one very smart child for her age. Her love for books, puzzles, and dolls makes her just like any other kid. But her ability to grasp concepts, words, things, etc is amazing. I hope Adriana continues on this path - we, as parents, will encourage her as much as we can.

It truly is a blessing to become a parent. There are women who are not able to have babies and end up having miracles - Georgie, I'm thinking of you. Its a beautiful and touching thing when you know that person always wanted the Mommy title; that person who would completely excel at being one too! I'm old fashioned when it comes to being a Mommy. I don't think its necessarily a duty but definitely something women should really consider. The modern world has made it more acceptable to women choosing to not have kids at all. I respect that - it must have taken a lot to make that decision and share it with your family or spouse. Essentially, its also the reason some relationships fail. Becoming a parent isn't the "norm" anymore - many couples are opting not to have children for various reasons.

I remember great words said to me a few times these past few month. Words that really opened my eyes to things and settled a piece of my mind. It was words that I probably had heard before but never meant anything. These words sit well with me and I think it should be 2014 's motto. I hope they carry great meaning with you and help you through the rough and the good that comes in a new year....
" I Wish You Enough " - LS

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or Whatever

However you say it.....its holiday Season everywhere! Snow on the ground, decorations hanging, and sales all over the place. How could you NOT be in the mood? oh right, work.....always gets ya through the holidays. Everyone is working for those dollars, which are immediately spent on the weekend for Christmas gifts, more decorations and of course FOOD!

Nothing taste sweeter over the holidays than food. Seriously. The amount of times we make the same jigs dinner throughout the year and its just never the same as at Christmas. Turkey, ham, salt beef, potatoes, carrots, turnip, cabbage, peas pudding, and stuffing (my favourite!!). This year we had such a big turkey - we had to name him. Jeff (that's what we named him) sat at just over 32lbs - probably one of the bigger turkeys we've had in a long while! It wouldn't be Christmas (or Boxing Day) without Turkey dinner for lunch and dinner; its always better the second day!

Adriana absolutely loved Christmas!! She's starting to understand the whole Santa comes with presents and we eat lots of food. She was definitely spoiled again this year. I seriously have to make room for all the toys she got plus clean out her dresser to make room for the clothes! Toys will take more time as I have to figure out which ones she doesn't need anymore - probably all of them lol I want to put a bookshelf in her room instead of the massive toy storage she has right now. The baskets are handy for things but half the unit isn't being utilized proper.

It was nice to have Kim and Tim back for Christmas! Feel the love <3

It was Loni and Chris' first Christmas with the Decker;s too

 

 Adriana is Grandad's sookie girl!

The boyfriend and I

Adriana all decked out in her Princess Sofia outfit with Aunt Loni

This is Jeff and he weighed over 32lbs!!

I must admit that the days leading up to Christmas day wasn't as festive as I had hoped. Saturday the boyfriend and I gave our time to hand out turkeys to the less fortunate. It was an unreal feeling to see the amount of people who were grateful for a decent size turkey for the holidays. There was no specific age or gender or size of family - we saw it all! From older people to young families who trekked out to pick up their turkey in the cold rain. For the entire day week I was very emotional. It was my first time volunteering with this turkey drive and I hope to continue helping out - even include Adriana next year or the year after.

If you haven't heard on he news about the Toronto Ice Storm December 2013 then you may not know there were hundreds of thousands of homes without power. We were one of those homes. The ice storm hit Saturday night and continued overnight - by morning there was no power. We were actually at my parents house keeping the dog company. The boyfriend had come home to let Tyson out, feed him, shower and shave. Well he made it through half of the shaving part before the power was gone. We obviously couldn't stay here with Adriana - not power means no heat! We stayed at my parents house for the night where it was warm and had lights at least. More than half of our street ended up getting power back late on Sunday night but we were not one of them. We carried on thinking it will be on my the next day - nope.

It was a hard day at work because I couldn't stop thinking about our house with no power. At this rate there was a possibility of not spending Christmas at our home. During the day, The boyfriend was back and forth between our house and his moms (she lives down the street and had power) On the way home from work, I cried. The ice was all over the tree branches which had weighed down so much they broke off. Some landed on the ground but others landed on houses, cars, or signs. It turned our beautiful neighbourhood upside down. The picture isn't even the more recent ones.....a lot more branches are down and some are still stuck on other branches. This happened 5mins after bringing Tyson inside - we turned around and watched 5 big branches fall. Scary to think if we had left him out for a few minutes longer what would happen. We are all okay - very thankful for family close by and the space to take us in on short notice. We weren't the only ones without power - Kim and Tim who at least had a real fireplace to keep warm for the night. As well as Loni and Chris who had to climb the stairs to their 19th floor apartment with their dog!

Christmas has always been about spending time with family and friends. This year more than ever we felt the true meaning of Christmas. Family was around and very grateful to share that time. We don't see each other every day so the few days we did have (and didn't have to work) was very nice. We shared drinks, ate food, snuggled to watch movies and just relax. I thought of those who still didn't have power on Christmas day and my heart definitely went out to them. Not everyone is as lucky as we are to have family around. Despite the damage, the spoiled food or the lack of heat - it was a beautiful Christmas. Thank you.

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Elf on the Shelf

I must admit that I have mixed feelings about this little critter. A few of my friends are hesitant to try it out with their child for several reasons.
Believe it or not, there are kids that are afraid of his smirking little Elf face. Something about his mischievous facial expression:

 I can appreciate that for sure. He (or she) does have that "Please stop staring at me you weird looking doll" Although I think some of the the clever ideas people come up with are just awesome!! Some of my favourite ideas are where the Elf is caught sitting with Barbie in the car or in her dollhouse with his arm around her. Its pretty obvious any male elf would take a liking to the long legged doll. 

Elf on the Shelf has been around for decades....just kidding its started in 2005 as a children's book and in 2011 CBS aired a 30-minute special "An Elf's Story: The Elf on the Shelf" So I must admit this may not qualify as a true tradition, it definitely has become more popular over the years. I have friends who have dedicated every day from Dec 1 (on or about then) until Dec 25th to creating new and unique scenario to please their little ones. From finding this little friend hanging from the drapes in the living room to toilet papering the Christmas tree. Amazingly, these ideas are different every day and even better than the year before.

Although it all sounds great, make sure its something you can dedicate some time to every day. Depending on the age of your child, take into consideration the load of questions they might have about this mysterious little new friend. Perhaps do some research and create a detail bio to help clarify some questions beforehand. If you curious "George" still has 20-questions......you can always use the question as an answer "How old do YOU think he is?" kind of idea.

So lets give a scenario: You and your child decide to adopt an Elf on the Shelf. A few days in, you think "Awesome, hes loving it!" and after about 2-3 weeks your child starts asking questions. A lot of questions. Question you didn't prepare yourself for and answering with "I don't know"

....What do you do?

At this point you have two options: keep at it and continue to dodge unanswered questions as best as you can or you can have an early goodbye.

I actually Googled ideas on how to get rid of Elf on the Shelf and there wasn't anything more than the normal goodbye. So I have compiled a few of ideas of my own on how to umm.....depart early if things are not working out.

 One of my top listers was to create a letter announcing your child made the nice list early and they will return on Christmas even for their final good bye. This is simple, easy and probably the most effective considering the start of the whole thing was to make that list. You can create a certificate in Word to make it "official" and have it signed by your Elf and Santa. Your child is more likely to be acceptable to this option because the reward is the same as if your elf stayed the entire time.

If your elf is a male (most seem to be), you can send your little friend on a trip where he elopes with Barbie. You can take it a step further and send pictures or an email for update if your little one is still asking about his friend. If your elf is a female, perhaps have her run away with Hulk, Iron Man, GI Joe or Ken!

The vacation idea could be played in several different ways. One last vacay before the big day, visit family, or go back to help Santa finish the toys in time. You can play it however you like!

Personally, I have no interest in starting this tradition with Adriana - full time job, full time Mommy, house cleaner, laundry doer, dinner cooker, website and blog creator, and part time student - my time is pretty full as it is! Christmas is my ultimate favourite time of the year, even without an Elf on the shelf visiting. Adriana will still appreciate the meaning of Christmas and the importance of family time over the holidays. I don't need any extra work to keep the hype of Christmas alive in our family - I'm 28 years old and I still look forward to presents, food and family on Christmas Day. My mom still puts up her metropolis of Dickens Village, well decorated tree, lighted garland inside and out, plus her scattered Christmas decorations. That is a lot of work on its own but not a year so far that I have been disappointed during the holidays - definitely puts anyone in the holiday spirit.

This year is no different as I am already more excited than last year. Christmas is more exciting to me than my own birthday!! I look forward to many more years of celebrating with my family and creating new traditions. But not ones that include Elf on the Shelf!
 

Toddler Nap Time Troubles

I swore myself to be the luckiest parent alive when Adriana was sleeping through the night after just 10days. Seriously, who else can say that? Not many I'm sure.

Lets face it....I think my luck has run out.

Adriana is starting her "terrible twos" already and part of that is refusing to nap. Do I dare assume my little one doesn't need a midday nap anymore? She's not even two yet! Although this is the third weekend in a row of no nap time. At daycare it seems to be mostly the same thing as well.

She doesn't normally give a hard time when we tell her its nap time. She's very willing to go lay in her bed but shortly after closing the door we can hear her playing with toys. This we don't mind because eventually she will fall asleep (we hope). She's into opening her door to come see what we're doing and that's when I simply take her hand and bring her back to her bed. I explain that she needs to have a nap in order to play longer later - this seems to understood for the most part.

This weekend is far worse than the last. I find myself losing patience in getting her to nap - I understand how important it is but she doesn't want to. So I reached out for some answers. I was sure that this can't be just MY child. The one who never ever had a sleep problem up to now. The child who was in a regular day bed at only 18mths old! No, this couldn't be.

I came across some suggestions although they were geared for older toddlers (closer to three years old) but doesn't hurt to try.

First, it was suggested to drop the whole "Nap Time" and call it "Quiet Time" instead. This is understood by giving your child a book or puzzle to have in their bed with the lights off and curtains drawn closed. Eventually, they might nod off on their own but will definitely have the calm down time they need to recharge. I love this idea! Its true....whenever I said nap time to Adriana she would refuse by saying "No nap Mommy". I tried to explain that she needed it but it seemed to make it worst! Definitely changing up my choice of words.

Second, if your little one is still having 2 naps but they're shorter in length every time - try switching to just one solid nap instead. Except to have a cranky baby for a few days while they adjust to a single nap time but they should sleep for a solid 2hrs during this time. I remember Adriana was NOT a happy camper and some nights went to bed a little earlier than normal while she adjusted. Within 1 week she was a happy camper again with a regular bed time 730-8pm and only one nap for 2hrs; sometimes a little longer!

The last suggestion I found was to settle your little one with a good lunch and a quiet movie that will hopefully make them pass out. Perhaps a movie they already saw so they wont force them self to stay awake through it all. Don't forget to give the whole movie experience by darkening the room and cuddling up on the couch or in their bed. We have movies on our tablet which is really easy for Adriana to hold comfortably. Its usually the same movie but she loves it and we don't mind letting her handle the tablet - she's pretty good at holding it steady!

Although, I don't think Adriana is entirely ready to not have a nap at all. I do believe she needs less of one - at least 30 to 45mins of quiet time. I hope this changes our routine for the better. I cannot stress how frustrating it is to get her to nap! I end up looking forward to getting her in bed at night and I feel its rushed instead of enjoyed like before.

I am thankful that our night time routine is bang on. Adriana sleeps from 8pm (give or take) until 7am (give or take) without waking up. Unless she has a cough, then I can hear wake up but quickly settle herself back to sleep. We were never the parents who ran to her every noise she made or even every cry. Of course we woke up but if it wasn't a concern (baby monitor was loud enough to hear everything) I would not go to her. To reassure myself - still do it to this day - before I go to bed every few nights, I will open her door just to see her sleeping. She's so peaceful and quiet - best sight after a long day.

I have been enjoying the amount of growing Adriana has done. It really has been a journey! I'm proud to say that I truly enjoy every moment of having a child. She is my world!
 

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

All Four Seasons and More

Adriana has really started to understand all four seasons. Lately, she's been noticing all the changes of weather from hot to cold (something we've been teaching her forever!). She noticed all the leaves changing colour over the past few weeks. Our giant trees in the backyard are late bloomers so they just started turning yellow this past week! Its absolutely beautiful to see every morning. I only noticed it a few days ago - with the sun shining on the yellow leaves - it truly caught my eye. Wonderful start to my work day for sure. I love that Adriana is very observant to the seasons changing. Last year when the snow finally came - she did not like it! We tried to get her to play in the backyard. Full snowsuit, sat her in the snow and she cried! Hopefully this year is much different. We have a beautiful backyard that sees the wonderful seasons in the most unique way. We are lucky to have these types of things as part of our home. Its a great thing for Adriana to see and learn. She's very smart. She actually seems worried about all the leaves falling to the ground - all art of the Fall Season! She recognizes the leaves on the ground; calls them "dirty" Lol



She is just a typical kid who plays in the leaves. Kicking them across the ground, throwing them in the air, whatever she can! Adriana is a very happy kid - not much to complain about. Although I know that I try my best to be a good Mommy, its nice when others see that too. A friend doesn't hesitate to tell me that I'm doing a good job - that I'm a great mom. Its nice to hear those comments. Sometimes you question your parenting and whether you're doing everything right. As happy as Adriana is, I ask myself this several times. It's not like I've had 10 kids....she is my one and only for now. I don't have another child to compare her too. Essentially, I do what I think is right and hope for the best! I always knew what kind of parent I was going to be - I am that parent. I am a patient and understanding person to begin with. I questioned my level of patience when I was pregnant. I made a point to save as much of it as I could. If Adriana had to turn out more like me I think I would have had a mental breakdown by now - several times! As blessed as we are to have Adriana, we are striving for more in our life.

I can say that although we "lived our lives" its time to buckle down and focus on better things. We have great plans for our family! We want the whole package and have started to figure out how to get it in the least amount of time. I don't want excuses anymore! We have literally done a 180 in comparison to before we decided to start a family. Partying 3 nights a week is no longer a desire. Instead we would rather grab a bottle of wine (or 2!) and enjoy being home, knowing our beautiful daughter is sleeping just across the room. Its amazing that we have been able to build a future ( .....a family) in a way that isn't so traditional. We're not married but that's okay - we love each other, we're not going anywhere and we don't need a piece of paper to tell each other that! Adriana knows we love each other because we're not afraid to show it to her. Its a beautiful thing for her to see - probably the best thing we could ever do for her. It sets the bar high for when she's old enough for her own serious relationship.

I must admit that lately I've been feeling the baby fever a little. Now before you lose your marbles (pick them back up!) I know exactly why its happening!! My Facebook feed is literally FILLED with all my friends and their newborn babies. I remember that feeling and it was surreal for us. That moment when you realize you are a Mommy or a Daddy is truly amazing. You don't ever forget that feeling - ever. I feel it every time I am with Adriana and still going strong almost 2 years later. I share that feeling with my new Mommy friends for sure. We would love to have another baby - but we have other things to take care of first! Those things are more important for us in the long run that having another baby and potentially prolonging things even more!



How did you plan your family?
Were there any surprises a long the way?