Adriana turns 5yrs old

I have a FIVE year old. Five!

When the heck did five years go by so fast. OK to be honest, I knew this day was coming and I knew at some time I would have this reaction.

It wasnt when she turned one; I loved watching her grow, hit the milestones, etc. It wasnt the year after or the one after that. Instead it hit me when I realized all the teachings from birth to now, all the challenges, all the blessings, long nights, laughs, memories...they all lead up to her turning 5yrs old. What's that saying...

"The years before five last the rest of their lives"

How so very true. So here is to hoping I've instilled some great values, taught her morals, and of course manners, over the years. I hope that she never loses that sassiness. That she stands up for herself, when she doesn't agree with something. I hope she remembers right from wrong. I hope she makes good choices most of the time. And when she doesn't, I hope she learns a lesson for next time.

Dear Adriana,
I hope today was special for you - I try every year to show you the love and support that is around you every day. Family and friends who are part of your life to help you grow and be the best you can be. I love you baby girl - my one and only! You have taught me so much. You remind me to laugh more, imagine the biggest and brightest things, you are stubborn (but I still love it!). After these 5yrs with you, I can't wait for many more!!

Loves you tons and tons Babes!

How to take the Pacifier away?

This is the long dreaded question for parents usually after they're toddler hits 2 years old. By this time they have been comfortably gnawing on a plasticy rubber pacifier for some time - whether just at nap and bed time or all day long. Its been your go-to during those tantrums, fevers, colic, etc. just to get them to settle down. Now you're thinking its time to take the next big-kid step of losing the suckie....nummie, paci, sook, baba - whatever you call it. Have no fear fellow parents - I have compiled a list of ideas to do it smoothly!!

Last (long) weekend we made the big step to start taking it away. Adriana was really attached to it, but only at nap and bed time. She was always really good about it otherwise. We knew we had to be clever about it, taking it away cold turkey wasn't going to go lightly with her. We had to out smart a toddler. I know....crazy? Trust me!

A few suggests I found for losing the pacifier was to reward them with a gift in place of it. I didn't like this for Adriana as it was merely just a distraction from the cold turkey method. Adriana has a fantastic memory and although the gift would be ok for a day or two - she would definitely remember it after the hype settled on the new toy.

Another idea I found was to send it off to the "Pacifier Fairies" who would bring it to a new baby who needs it. This is a sweet idea especially if there's another baby on the way! However, Adriana would simply call herself the baby and keep it for herself. Pacifier Fairy - fail.

So what was I left to do?
Snip it.
 

Yes - that's right. I snipped the tip of the pacifier just a little at first and a little more the next day. Eventually, Adriana didn't want it anymore and I was able to throw them all in the garbage! The first night she pulled it back out and knew something changed but took it anyways. The second night she repeatedly kept telling the boyfriend it was broken and to fix it, but went to sleep anyways. The next night she asked to hold it and the same the following night.

On Tuesday, the boyfriend worked late so Mommy didn't even offer the pacifier to her....and she didn't ask for it. I simply put her to bed with her blankie and that was it. The next night was the same thing - that's when I through them all in the garbage! She had been going to daycare and napping without one as well. Adriana is almost 28mths old now and has no pacifier anymore :)

Operation Goodbye Suckie.....SUCCESS!!


How do you plan to take the pacifier away when its time?
What age do you think it ideal for removing?
Did you use the "Pacifier Fairy" method? How did it work?

Kids in the Kitchen - 10 recipe ideas

Adriana has always had interest in the kitchen. When she was younger, I would slide her highchair into the kitchen with me while I made lunch and dinner every day. I would hand her a wooden spoon to keep her occupied while I cooked away. She loved it! I'm sure how much she actually paid attention to what I was doing but who cares - she spent time in the kitchen.

Now that shes older her interest to be in the kitchen with us is even more than before. Of course within reason, but we do let her help. Shes great at stirring the pasta and sauce, she even scopes the butter for the Macaroni and Cheese! We also enjoy making pudding and cookies. The best part - Adriana is only 2 years old.

Most parents shoo their kids away from the kitchen because of the hot stove, the oven, sharp tools, etc. Instead, why not try to teach them HOW to be in the kitchen. From the get go we explained the oven is hot; don't touch. Several times, we pick her up to see whats going on top of the stove. Shes curious because we never hid her from seeing us in the kitchen. She was always welcome to stick around and help but with caution. She knows what she can and cant do while there and her help is encouraging. Eventually when shes a little old - she will be making lunch or grabbing her own snacks. Can't wait!

Adriana has her own play kitchen in her room too. It has all the same things as Mommy's and Daddy's kitchen, including metal pots and pans. She loves making "breakfast" or "dinner" for us and we love pretending to eat it with her! She is even smart enough to serve it on a plate - always - and with a cup of tea! The pretend play is great for her to learn how things work. Must cook things on the stove and warm up things in the microwave. She even sets up the table with cutlery! Bless her heart

Adriana has peaked my interest to get her in the real kitchen more. So I did some research and found some great recipes that your little ones can get involved in the kitchen more often with

1. Homemade Pizza - Use Greek pita bread, pizza sauce and toppings. Each child can make their own pizza however they want!

2. Hot dog roll ups - use Crescent rolls, cheese and hot dog halves.

3. Smoothies - add all kinds of their favourite fruits, 1 cup of ice and blend. You may choose to use yogurt or fruit juice as well. Caution: blender may be a bit loud so try to  do it slowly so they don't get scared!

4. Meatballs - kids love getting their hands "dirty" and these are a great way to get them involved!

5. Rice Crispie Squares - what kid doesn't love this delicious treat?

6. Nachos - cook up some ground beef, add cheese, peppers, and serve with salsa.

7. Sliced Chicken Penne - slice up boneless/skinless chicken and fry, add cooked pasta and sauce.

8. Banana rolls - roll up a banana in a peanut butter covered wrap and slice.

9. Deviled Eggs - seems simple enough!

10. Cookies - the good ol' classic ones!


Don't shy your kid away from being in the kitchen. Instead teach them how to work in that area. When they're a little older - you'll be thankful for showing them their way around. It teaches them to be independent for themselves and thoughtful towards others. The more you hold back the less likely they will do things for themselves when the time comes. Teach them young and within reason. I don't expect Adriana to cook up a pot roast or anything but she can help with the more simple meals. She has an interest in the kitchen - we just add fuel to that and teach her how to be safe in the kitchen. Little by little she learns how to work the necessary things.

We are lucky to have an independent little girl. Don't hold them back from learning, even if society says they're too young. Eventually they will have to learn about it so teach them when there's interest and you won't have to force it when they're "old enough". Stop holding them back - stop letting them think they "can't" and start showing them HOW. That's what parenting is about - not making it harder on yourself by trying to control every little movement they do. Teach them to be the people you want by leading by example. I continue to talk about Monkey-see, Monkey-do....do as I say not as I do - how it really works on a child.

Milestones for your Child

Have you ever wondered how your child is developing? After 18mths those doctor visits are spread out even more. Where do you turn to know your child is on the right track? This is where parents start to compare their child to their friend's little one or kids at daycare or even strangers! It can get really ugly after awhile. So tame that inner urge to compare and just do some research. Here are some guidelines I've found that may help you set your mind at ease.

If you truly have concerns about your little ones development, ask you doctor. You should know that although some child excel in development - others take their time. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with your child; it just means they're growing at their own pace. By the time they're in kindergarten, they all learn at the same pace anyways.

To be honest, focus on enjoying your child instead of worrying about where they stand with other children. Your little one will develop just fine - if later down the road you're still concerned then talk to the doctor about having your child tested. I read a great article about certain things a mother wants to teach her daughter (i'm on a hunt for a son list). The writer makes a personal list of things that she plans on teaching her daughter and checks them off as their done. Its in no particular order but made me laugh out loud!

Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine is a hilarious mother writing about her life as a stay at home mom.

Average Growth of a Toddler

I hit that point in Mommyhood - where the parent finally realizes HOW big their child has gotten. Seriously, Adriana has grown so much since the summer that I just had to buy her a SECOND winter coat. Not because of  any other reason besides she had completely out grew her first one. During our NFLD trip she was wearing 18-24mths clothes and on her feet she had size 5 (straight into size 6 when we got back). During the Christmas she fit into 3T and just last week we have to buy her a size 4T (second) winter coat!

I didn't get the memo that a toddler grows THAT fast in such a short time.

So I did some research to see how Adriana squares up to the average kid. Since she was always above the average size (weight and height) I assume that would continue. Correct.

 

 Adriana has a doctor's appointment on Saturday and I'm dying to find out where she stands on the charts!

 She goes for her 2yr needles and its been 6mths since her last set of needles - the last time she was measured and weighed too. I have never hid that she gets needles. I simply explain the doctor takes care of her and it only hurts for a minute. Shes really good about it - Thank you Doc McStuffins!!

We are going back to potty training as well. She dropped off the interest block for a bit but has started to climb back up! Yay for Mommy (and Daddy!). Adriana got some big girl underwear for her birthday - Disney Princess! She really wants to wear them so we pull them on over her diaper and VOLA! happy little girl. I explained that if she learns to peepee on the toilet she could wear them without the diaper on - this totally peaked her interest!! 

So ladies and gents, its on.....everyone is on board (including daycare). I can't wait to be done with changing diapers. She has worn some pull ups to practice the up and down movement and she's done well :) I will keep the interest going right through great encouragement. Also, having everyone on board to help guide her to the success of being toilet trained will make things easier because we're leading by example. Everyone uses a toilet - soon to include Adriana!

*Update: Adriana is 32lbs putting her in the 85th percentile and stands 90cm high which makes her in the 95th percentile. She has always been up in this area for weight and height - actually 85th percentile is her lowest percentile yet! According to the doctor she is a healthy little girl who is very smart and beautiful. We left with a prescription for a minor ear infection (slight redness in the canal) - her first one ever! She's been verbal about her ear bothering her for a week now. I checked every night to see if I could see anything, nothing, so I let the doctor check. Adriana did really well during her check up! She was quiet, she opened her mouth wide for the doctor, she stood on the big girl scale and even stood to watch the doctor prepare a flu shot for another patient! Adriana was absolutely fascinated by the doctors office - possibly a future in medicine?

Mental Health and Meditation

Do you ever have days weeks where you just feel drained? Lately, I am finding myself overwhelmed and tired. I can't seem to fight off this throat infection, which I initially thought was a cold or flu. I am hanging on with everything I have; trying not to let it get the best of me. It seems to be one thing after another. Keeping focused on the positive things is difficult but thank goodness for the holiday season to give me a boost of spirit.

Do I dare throughout the word again? The word that I have been able to overcome for a few years now. Something that had taken a toll on my overall life and I had refused to let it happen again.  That word most people push off as "all in the head" - anxiety.

Its more than most people think. You really don't know what its like until you've walked in those shoes. I was naïve about this condition (that's exactly what it is!) until I started to get symptoms in 2009. I was diagnosed with Situational Anxiety that was deemed to be work related. During my journey of tests, I also found out I have a minor heart condition (irregular heart beat) which only makes anxiety worse for me. I was never to the point of shaking, or beads of sweat but rather a more painful route.

You know the term "You're getting on my nerves" it was literally that. I was in constant pain in my arms (mostly hands) and had visited a hand specialist. I suffered from severe tension headaches which I had CT Scan done to ensure it wasn't anything more seriously. My joints ached mostly in my back and hands.

Anxiety is a mood. When it becomes a mental disorder, that is, characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry, it is diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I have been able to keep my anxiety at bay with some simple techniques which include writing. Releasing the thoughts onto paper is an amazing way to release a portion of anxiety. Introduce yourself to other outlets and see what works best for you. I fell in love with meditation around this time as well. I would sit for a few (3-5) minutes at first and several times a day. I gradually increased the time and lessen the frequency to twice a day at 30mins each. Meditation is a great way to calm your thoughts and focus on the good energy. Follow this with a few simple yoga poses and you are on your way to self-bliss.

I need to regain my focus.

I am continuing my writings on a daily basis - some published and some not. I have veered away aimlessly from my meditation and yoga. I am a believer in the strength meditation has on someone living with anxiety but sometimes life sidetracks you. It happens and thats alright.

I bring myself back to when I first realized my anxiety. The whys and how all went through my head - not good for someone who already has a racing mind. I use that time in my life to get me back on track and avoid episodes of heart palpitations,  racing thoughts, increase heart rate, etc.

If you or anyone you know may be suffering from anxiety, please visit your doctor and discuss your options. Its more than just talking to someone. Its more than medication. It starts from within.

Elf on the Shelf

I must admit that I have mixed feelings about this little critter. A few of my friends are hesitant to try it out with their child for several reasons.
Believe it or not, there are kids that are afraid of his smirking little Elf face. Something about his mischievous facial expression:

 I can appreciate that for sure. He (or she) does have that "Please stop staring at me you weird looking doll" Although I think some of the the clever ideas people come up with are just awesome!! Some of my favourite ideas are where the Elf is caught sitting with Barbie in the car or in her dollhouse with his arm around her. Its pretty obvious any male elf would take a liking to the long legged doll. 

Elf on the Shelf has been around for decades....just kidding its started in 2005 as a children's book and in 2011 CBS aired a 30-minute special "An Elf's Story: The Elf on the Shelf" So I must admit this may not qualify as a true tradition, it definitely has become more popular over the years. I have friends who have dedicated every day from Dec 1 (on or about then) until Dec 25th to creating new and unique scenario to please their little ones. From finding this little friend hanging from the drapes in the living room to toilet papering the Christmas tree. Amazingly, these ideas are different every day and even better than the year before.

Although it all sounds great, make sure its something you can dedicate some time to every day. Depending on the age of your child, take into consideration the load of questions they might have about this mysterious little new friend. Perhaps do some research and create a detail bio to help clarify some questions beforehand. If you curious "George" still has 20-questions......you can always use the question as an answer "How old do YOU think he is?" kind of idea.

So lets give a scenario: You and your child decide to adopt an Elf on the Shelf. A few days in, you think "Awesome, hes loving it!" and after about 2-3 weeks your child starts asking questions. A lot of questions. Question you didn't prepare yourself for and answering with "I don't know"

....What do you do?

At this point you have two options: keep at it and continue to dodge unanswered questions as best as you can or you can have an early goodbye.

I actually Googled ideas on how to get rid of Elf on the Shelf and there wasn't anything more than the normal goodbye. So I have compiled a few of ideas of my own on how to umm.....depart early if things are not working out.

 One of my top listers was to create a letter announcing your child made the nice list early and they will return on Christmas even for their final good bye. This is simple, easy and probably the most effective considering the start of the whole thing was to make that list. You can create a certificate in Word to make it "official" and have it signed by your Elf and Santa. Your child is more likely to be acceptable to this option because the reward is the same as if your elf stayed the entire time.

If your elf is a male (most seem to be), you can send your little friend on a trip where he elopes with Barbie. You can take it a step further and send pictures or an email for update if your little one is still asking about his friend. If your elf is a female, perhaps have her run away with Hulk, Iron Man, GI Joe or Ken!

The vacation idea could be played in several different ways. One last vacay before the big day, visit family, or go back to help Santa finish the toys in time. You can play it however you like!

Personally, I have no interest in starting this tradition with Adriana - full time job, full time Mommy, house cleaner, laundry doer, dinner cooker, website and blog creator, and part time student - my time is pretty full as it is! Christmas is my ultimate favourite time of the year, even without an Elf on the shelf visiting. Adriana will still appreciate the meaning of Christmas and the importance of family time over the holidays. I don't need any extra work to keep the hype of Christmas alive in our family - I'm 28 years old and I still look forward to presents, food and family on Christmas Day. My mom still puts up her metropolis of Dickens Village, well decorated tree, lighted garland inside and out, plus her scattered Christmas decorations. That is a lot of work on its own but not a year so far that I have been disappointed during the holidays - definitely puts anyone in the holiday spirit.

This year is no different as I am already more excited than last year. Christmas is more exciting to me than my own birthday!! I look forward to many more years of celebrating with my family and creating new traditions. But not ones that include Elf on the Shelf!
 

Toddler Nap Time Troubles

I swore myself to be the luckiest parent alive when Adriana was sleeping through the night after just 10days. Seriously, who else can say that? Not many I'm sure.

Lets face it....I think my luck has run out.

Adriana is starting her "terrible twos" already and part of that is refusing to nap. Do I dare assume my little one doesn't need a midday nap anymore? She's not even two yet! Although this is the third weekend in a row of no nap time. At daycare it seems to be mostly the same thing as well.

She doesn't normally give a hard time when we tell her its nap time. She's very willing to go lay in her bed but shortly after closing the door we can hear her playing with toys. This we don't mind because eventually she will fall asleep (we hope). She's into opening her door to come see what we're doing and that's when I simply take her hand and bring her back to her bed. I explain that she needs to have a nap in order to play longer later - this seems to understood for the most part.

This weekend is far worse than the last. I find myself losing patience in getting her to nap - I understand how important it is but she doesn't want to. So I reached out for some answers. I was sure that this can't be just MY child. The one who never ever had a sleep problem up to now. The child who was in a regular day bed at only 18mths old! No, this couldn't be.

I came across some suggestions although they were geared for older toddlers (closer to three years old) but doesn't hurt to try.

First, it was suggested to drop the whole "Nap Time" and call it "Quiet Time" instead. This is understood by giving your child a book or puzzle to have in their bed with the lights off and curtains drawn closed. Eventually, they might nod off on their own but will definitely have the calm down time they need to recharge. I love this idea! Its true....whenever I said nap time to Adriana she would refuse by saying "No nap Mommy". I tried to explain that she needed it but it seemed to make it worst! Definitely changing up my choice of words.

Second, if your little one is still having 2 naps but they're shorter in length every time - try switching to just one solid nap instead. Except to have a cranky baby for a few days while they adjust to a single nap time but they should sleep for a solid 2hrs during this time. I remember Adriana was NOT a happy camper and some nights went to bed a little earlier than normal while she adjusted. Within 1 week she was a happy camper again with a regular bed time 730-8pm and only one nap for 2hrs; sometimes a little longer!

The last suggestion I found was to settle your little one with a good lunch and a quiet movie that will hopefully make them pass out. Perhaps a movie they already saw so they wont force them self to stay awake through it all. Don't forget to give the whole movie experience by darkening the room and cuddling up on the couch or in their bed. We have movies on our tablet which is really easy for Adriana to hold comfortably. Its usually the same movie but she loves it and we don't mind letting her handle the tablet - she's pretty good at holding it steady!

Although, I don't think Adriana is entirely ready to not have a nap at all. I do believe she needs less of one - at least 30 to 45mins of quiet time. I hope this changes our routine for the better. I cannot stress how frustrating it is to get her to nap! I end up looking forward to getting her in bed at night and I feel its rushed instead of enjoyed like before.

I am thankful that our night time routine is bang on. Adriana sleeps from 8pm (give or take) until 7am (give or take) without waking up. Unless she has a cough, then I can hear wake up but quickly settle herself back to sleep. We were never the parents who ran to her every noise she made or even every cry. Of course we woke up but if it wasn't a concern (baby monitor was loud enough to hear everything) I would not go to her. To reassure myself - still do it to this day - before I go to bed every few nights, I will open her door just to see her sleeping. She's so peaceful and quiet - best sight after a long day.

I have been enjoying the amount of growing Adriana has done. It really has been a journey! I'm proud to say that I truly enjoy every moment of having a child. She is my world!
 

Guest Post: Oliver Manalese

 

Three Ways of Avoiding Kryptonite For Super-Moms & Super-Dads

When meeting someone for the first time, the most common follow up question after brief introductions is "What do you do?" And most often than not, people will respond with the job title they have on their business card or what they have posted on their LinkedIn profile. 

So, what's wrong with this?

The trouble I find is that so many of us get trapped and our job description easily consumes us and becomes our life description. Something I am familiar with first hand as well as with the clients I work with.

Now if you're reading this, you probably can agree when I say that I believe the main reason we are here at all is to make babies! To cultivate and nurture the next generation of humans to the best of our abilities. To teach them by being powerful and consistent examples. To embody the qualities we wish to instil in them. 

This by far I believe is the most important job in the world… next to taking care of our self, of course. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

(Side note: Now I know for a multitude of reasons not all of us want to or will have children, but this conversation applies to you too! We are all part of valuable relationships and what comes next can relate to so many. I hope you receive value in this.)

I truly admire the many mothers and fathers out there who embrace this and pour their hearts and souls to making sure their children have an incredible life. 

You inspire me and I personally can't imagine what it's like. But please take what I say next for what it is… coming from a single guy without any children of his own… yet!

You are not superhuman.

And that's okay.

Really. 

Give yourself permission to stop being so hard on your self for not being enough, doing enough or having enough.

I see so many of my friends and clients who are loving, generous and selfless parents. I watch them working their butts off to be providers, surviving on less sleep and rearranging their lives and relationships for their kids.

But being SuperMom and/or SuperDad means you have to face your kryptonite… Burn out. 

You can only run your life at full tilt for so long.  Low self care, weight gain, stress, pressure of being a parent is the eventual result.

So how do we avoid this?

Simply. 

You can't. 

I'm sorry. But it's unavoidable.

I'm not here to sugarcoat it and tell you that there are people in the world who have limitless energy, give continuously and experience balance and joy ALL of the time. 

There is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all solution.

What I can tell you is this… There are parents just like you who spend quantity and quality time with their children, maintain a strong, passionate connection with their partner, earn a good living, have free time, go on dates, have time to hang with friends, have healthy and nourished bodies, find fulfilment… and they seem to be able to do it all!

Sounds great, right?

Now if you look deeper you will see that it's not rainbows and unicorns all of the time. And that doesn't make it good or bad. It just means it's hard work. 

But imagine... what it would be like to feel and be all of the above, especially in the moments where it matters most. 

To have that extra bit of compassion, attention and love when your partner or your child needs it most? To be centred, emotionally aware and strong during the tougher moments? To be patient, thoughtful and open when it would be much easier to be bossy, imposing and demanding.

Take it for what it is, but the following are insights that have greatly helped me and the people I work with.

It Starts With You... Yeah, you.

We must first give to our selves before we can give to another. 

It's just like when riding on an airplane. During emergency situations when the oxygen mask drops down in front of you, the first person to place the mask on is your self. Yes, even before your child or loved one. 

Put in another way. Imagine your energy, will power and presence is like a cup full of water. Every time you share your self with another you pour a little bit here and there and before you know it... the cup is empty! 

These are some practices that help you fill your own cup. To give to your self first so that you can be more present, attentive, loving, generous and compassionate for those you care about most when it matters most.

Self-Care and Well-Being

Write down ten things you can do on a daily basis that make you feel great. Throughout the day start checking them off! 

Some suggestions could be to meditate, experience gratitude, reading for 15 minutes, hugging my children, exercise, going for a walk, taking my vitamins, taking a nap, laughing, etc.

This daily practice has been life changing for me and my clients. 

Download a free copy of The Well-Being Checklist

Download a free copy of The Well-Being tracking sheet

Date Your Self

This is one of my favourites. It is also one of the most challenging to do for the first time. This is about cultivating a nourishing relationship with your self. To give your self down time. Solo time. To eliminate the noise and rejuvenate.

Ask yourself: If I were to go on a date with myself what would I do?

Some suggestions could be to go out to dinner (dessert included!), watch a movie, see a play, spend time in nature or near water or try doing something new! 

Again these are just some suggestions. Feel free to be creative.

I made a short video about solo-dates called: "Solo Dates, Self-Love and Dating Oneself"

You can view it here. 

Attitude of Gratitude

Gratification is getting something you don't already have. Gratitude is wanting what you do have.

It's about acknowledging, appreciating and being thankful for the people and things you have in your life. 

Right when you wake up and before you go to bed, think about… actually FEEL what you are grateful for in your life.

Every day will be different but experience the gratitude you have for the friends and family in your life. The support of your partner. The gift that is your child. Living in a safe and loving home. 

It can also be as simple as being grateful for having food in the fridge, gas in the car to get around or listening to music that moves you.

All in all, I feel that as individuals begin to take responsibility back for their well-being and cultivate a healthy sense of self, we can actually make the world a better place. Starting with our selves, being an example and influencing and impacting those around us helps shape our environment in a more beautiful light.

Try practicing some of these the next seven days and see how you feel. Would love to hear your stories and experiences!

Peace & Love.

About Oliver:

Oliver Manalese is an Executive Consultant & Coach focusing on these main principles: know thyself, love thyself, express thyself. The bulk of our reality which includes the quality, integrity and well-being of our health, finances, relationships and work is all a by-product of our depth of understanding and continual growth in each of these three areas. This holistic approach to personal transformation provides the tools and insights for individuals to find alignment with their true self and will have a long-term, positive impact beyond the duration Oliver’s coaching programs. Oliver is also an entrepreneur, a licensed real estate professional, singer-songwriter, whole foods lover and certified Yoga Instructor. 

For more visit: www.olivermanalese.com

Work - Life Balance

At times almost every Mommy and Daddy feel like there is not enough hours in the day to get everything done. This pressure builds up and takes a toll on the body in different forms. Some symptoms for “over load” are:

Fatigue: You feel a lag in your day even after a solid 8hrs of sleep. This is usually the first sign of overload and can only get worst! Take a multi vitamin to help keep your iron levels up, along with Vitamin B – 2 essential vitamins to help with fatigue.

Sadness or feeling “Blue”: This is a common feeling from time to time – everyone gets “down” but if these feelings last for a few weeks seek a medical professional for help. This is a clear sign of depression and can easily be overlooked when there is no Work-Life balance. No amount of exercise, vitamins or vacation can make it disappear. That’s because depression is an illness, not a weakness and should be taken seriously.

Soreness/stiffness: This can be in a specific area (hands if you do a lot of lifting or your feet if you stand for long periods). If you work at a desk, consider evaluating your work station to ensure proper ergonomics are in place. It could be as simple as a different mouse pad for wrist support! Take the necessary steps for a healthier workspace. Ensure you stretch periodically. It is recommended that a person should get up and stretch once every hour to ensure proper blood circulation. I would suggest Basic Yoga for added benefits all around.

Headaches (tension): A common headache will last a few hours, however prolonged or reoccurring headaches are a clear sign of stress. These headaches are normally around the back of the head (crown or below) area. Sometimes they occur around the eye brow area as well – more so if you wear glasses. If you have a reoccurring headache for more than a few days – consider talking to your doctor to rule out other causes.

Lack of appetite *important*: The way we eat plays a huge factor in our moods, recovering, concentration, alertness, etc. If you feed your body high fatty foods you will feel sluggish and unmotivated. However, lots of veggies and fruits with good carbs and protein will help keep your energy levels up – consider keep healthy snacks around. Lack of appetite is something that a person may not pay attention to. You can set a reminder to stop and snack or have lunch in order to keep your mood up and focus on point. This can take some planning the night before – or keep healthy snacks in your desk. I usually like Rice crackers, granola bars, Pepperoni sticks (for protein), Small packets of candy for the sweet tooth. I try not to keep fruit at my desk because it goes bad! Substitute with what you can in order to keep fueling your body. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water!

As the demands for the workplace increase, it makes work-life balance more difficult. However, there is a solution to better time management. Consider building downtime into your schedule prior to the start of the work week. A midweek dinner out is a good way to relieve stress and unwind. Rethink the activities that take a considerable toll on your time and energy. Try to schedule a good chunk of time to making errands or splitting them up twice a week (Tuesday and Saturday). The importance of exercise cannot be stressed enough! We are not talking deadlifts for 30mins at 200lbs – think small like taking a walk to the store or coffee shop every night; Or wake up 30mins early to do basic yoga. Don’t forget to relax. Just sit down and breathe for a few moments. Take a long hot shower or read a good book with a  cup of tea (or glass of wine!). Make sure to take some time for yourself that doesn’t include any effort at all. My “Me time” activity is writing – it releases the load of thoughts I carry with me every day. By putting them to paper, it allows me to think through and clear my mind.

How do you create work-life balance?

How do you use your downtime?

Share your exercise ideas. No Gym Required.

What things do you do to release tension?

Happy (Mo) November

Can you believe its already November? Where has the year gone! This is still one of my favourite time of the year. Right after Halloween and just before Christmas. Its a good chunk of time to appreciate other things without getting caught up in a mile long list of things to do. I am a huge fan of Christmas - this I do not hide. Although the quietness of the stores are nice. I try to start Christmas shopping about this time every year and usually by December I actually buy things!! Lol I prefer to make a list of everyone that I need to buy for first, then I group the couple gifts that I can get away with (essentially those who need a Date Night - get one!) I jot down a few gift ideas - this takes a toll on my memory since I have to remember if they mentioned something they might need. If I'm really stuck then I will flat out ask the person for ideas. People change their minds or they already got that thing they said they needed. I believe in giving a useful gift - something they need or wanted, instead of a "thoughtful" gift.

Although my family never had much money growing up - my parents always made sure to give us the best Christmas ever. We always had lots of presents to open, a huge stocking to filter through and tons of food to eat all in the company of family and friends. The tradition has changed a bit over the years but essentially its the same. We may have lost Jill and Pat for the holidays this year but gained Loni and Chris for the first time ever. Kim and Tim are back too! This Christmas is going to be just as good as any year before. Adriana seems to be understanding the holidays more than before - Halloween really stood out for her. Christmas will just put her over the moon! I truly cannot wait.

We are coming close to the end of her swimming lessons. She officially has one more class left and she's on to the next one! We are thinking of starting again in February but we'll see what the New Year brings first. I am more excited now than ever. We had to move from the normal area in the Kiddie pool to the full size pool. Adriana wasn't even afraid of the bigger pool - actually, she ran and jumped in with her life jacket on! Clear signs shes ready for the next big thing. Hopefully her instructors see that and suggest her for Preschool classes.We will continue to take her swimming and get her used to swimming by herself a little more.

I must admit that only being able to do stuff with Adriana on the weekends really make them more special. Monday - Friday are pretty straight forward and leave little time for playing and more time for talking. This past weekend I had a ton of fun with her - it was our first trip together to Starbucks for a snack. Adriana had some tea (Zen tea!) and got a snowman cookie too! I love my local Starbucks. The ladies that work there are fabulous and just adored Adriana! I've talked about her many times but this was the first time they had met her in person. She just melted their hearts with her Thank yous and Pleases. I found it to be an appropriate place considering how well she behaves!! After an hour there we headed over to see the ducks again. Did I mention Adriana walked the entire time?? Love it.

I think Adriana is going through a growth spurt again. Every time I talk to her she's hungry! This is only day 2 but I think its happening again. Shes out growing her 2T clothes - which I knew would happen before Christmas anyways - but didnt think it would happen this soon. We bought her a fancy new winter coat in Size 3years and I think I have to exchange it because its a big snug! This weekend I will have to go buy her some bigger pants but I run into the problem that it doesn't fit in the waist! She has to wear skinny jeans or leggings mostly since regular jeans don't always fit her. Most have that elastic band to tighten but some don't! I also need to start thinking of a Christmas dress - do you remember Adriana with Santa last year? Oh lord she did NOT like him - classic. Hopefully this year is a bit different!



Have you started making your Christmas lists? Shopping?
Do you have your lights up? Tree out?
Are you traveling for Christmas? To where?
Do you want a White Christmas this year?

Fall is Officially Here

October is just around the corner this coming week! This is exciting for me because its my birthday. It is not a milestone year but another year indeed. I look forward to my birthday regardless of how many years it is - age really is just a number. I feel much younger most days! My birthday is a clear indication that the Fall Season is here.

The weather gets a little bit cooler, the days get shorter, Pumpkin Spice Lattes (haha!), sweaters and boots are out in full force. Fall is a beautiful season - probably my favourite. We have 3 huge beautiful trees in our backyard that I absolutely love to watch shed their leaves. When you're walking up our street these trees stick out just above the houses - just beautiful. I will definitely post pictures soon because most of the trees are starting to change already!

Adriana and I have started to leave the stroller at home again! She is really enjoying the walking everywhere thing and I want to encourage her to do it. She may go through phases so I will let it ride while its still going! Adriana loves being able to sit in the regular seats and not confined to her stroller. Big girl growing up!! We are fortunate to have a child who listens most of the time and understands the concept of the bus system. She is a people person so its actually entertaining on the bus with her. She tries to say "Hello Everybody" but it comes out as "Hello Buddy" Lol kills me every time.

This week is fairly low key - with the small exception of working on Adriana's Halloween costume! I am very excited to get started on my first ever homemade costume. Sorry folks but I won't be sharing what it will be until closer to Halloween! I promise to take lots of pics for those of you who wouldn't mind attempting it. I can't wait!! I promise its going to be worth the wait. It is not a typical girl costume :)

I promised myself last year that I wasn't going to wait until the last minute to start Christmas shopping. Yes I'm already putting the C-word out and its not even Halloween yet. C'mon give me some credit that I'm being proactive! I have a good storage area and will take advantage of buying a little at a time until the big day comes. Then I will only have to worry about wrapping and filling Adriana's stocking when December comes! Go me.

Potty Training for Beginners

Adriana is at that age where she is very curious about the toilet. Not like "lets see how much toilet paper I can stuff in here" kinda way! She actually wants to use it. Up until a few weeks ago, she was the only kid at daycare who isn't potty trained (or being potty trained) and so she's been included in these trips to the bathroom. Her fascination has come home with her too. If I say "Mommy will be right back, I have to pee" she will take my hand and walk me to the bathroom. Since we have the same mechanics I let her stay in the bathroom with me. I talk her through things and then ask if she has to go as well. Of course she does. I strip her down so she doesn't get pee on her clothes and sit her on the toilet. Amazingly enough she goes!

Of course, a few times she tries but nothing happens. This is the reason we are not forcing it. We have bought her a seat (not a potty since she loves the toilet and its always convenient for her). The seat just sits on top the regular toilet seat but is smaller to hold up her little bummy. It's great to throw in a bag for visits at the grandparents house too! It was $12.88 at Walmart and of course covered in Disney Princesses. We let Adriana pick out her own seat. There was no intention of buying one just yet. We were actually looking for diapers and she pointed it out! Maybe a little later we can get her a potty :)

Our routine is simple right now until she can really tell me when she has to go. At daycare I know she tries a few times during the day - I will have to ask more questions about that. At home, we stick to after her shower. She has dinner, then her bath/shower and after we pat her dry we stick her on the toilet. Every night for a solid week she has gone 6 or the 7 times. Not bad.

We don't feel the need to push her into being potty trained. I was trained in one day and the boyfriend didn't need any training!! So with some good genes, I think she'll be okay for a little while. It is still fairly early to potty train - considering she still has a night time bottle.

Some ready signs to look for in your toddler are:

• "dry" periods that last 2hrs (or nap time)
• coordination to walk or even run
• ability to pull their pants up or down
• shows interest in other's bathroom habits
• has words for urine and stool
• can sit quietly for 2-5mins
• demonstrates the desire for indepence
• is in a cooperative stage - not cranky
• isn't resistant to learning how to use the toilet
• takes pride in his accomplishments

The average (suggested) age for potty training is 18-24mths, however, some parents chose to wait a bit longer. Note: boys may be ready a little later than girls. This is a big step in a toddler's life, so make sure they are prepared for it. Perhaps start with reading a book on going to the potty or a short movie about potty training. Get your toddler interested in the functions of the bathroom (specifically the toilet). Even if we don't pee, I let Adriana flush the toilet after a wipe. Its routine and she's not afraid of the flushing! She also remembers to put the lid down too.

A suggested method is a "Reward or Star Achievement", where the child gets a sticker when they go potty. I have not (and probably won't) use this method with Adriana. I make sure to give her enough praise when she goes. This includes lots of clapping, smiles, kisses and even hugs if necessary. I want her to realize that going potty is a normal thing - not a game.The stickers would just result in false hope for me that she's actually potty trained. We simply use praise!!

We are only in the beginning stages of potty training and by no means are we pushing it. She will do it when shes ready as long as she's prepared with the knowledge of How-to. I think we are on a great track with her and plan to keep doing it. My hope is by Christmas she will be full fledged potty trained. That may seem like a long time away - but it's really not!

And if all else fails, we can always just buy one of these.....

 

Share your potty stories with me! Comment below of email at info@hillsidemommy.com

When was your toddler ready?

What tricks did you use?

How long did it take?

What would you change about that method?

Mommy Support

Sometimes a Mommy needs to know that she is not alone. She needs to feel like she has somewhere to turn to - or someone. Not everyone has their Mom or Dad to turn to. So where do you go? The times have changed and more people are turning to the internet. There's no shame in that!

I hope you find this post useful Fellow Mommies/Daddies!!

 This picture is truer than true. On those bad days, you might focus on the negative things like the number of diaper changes or the amount of spit up you have had to clean. You quickly forget those moments when you see your child smile, laugh, talk, etc....whatever it is - it keeps you going. You forget about those long nights of several feeds on only a few short hours of sleep. I kept my focus by repeatedly telling myself that this wasn't a forever thing. I made a point to get through all those feedings and get back to sleeping (oh! how important sleep is as a new mommy) Although I had the luxury of my boyfriend helping for the first 3 months, I was literally on my own from that point to when she was almost 11months old. His early mornings and late nights of work made it hard to see her but he was always there to put her into bed at night. Always.

It speaks for itself! I mean what other place would you rather be besides with your family? You may not get along with everyone all the time but when you need to feel accepted, relaxed, at "home", you turn to your family. Its a place that no matter what happens - They love you. I promised myself that I would always create the same open door and loving home that my parents created for me. They won't DO things for you but they will definitely help you get where you need to be. It was never easy living there but I wanted to grow up faster than my mom would let me! I will not hold Adriana back from something she wants to do although, just like any normal child, she will have boundaries. I believe in living to learn - its a harsh reality but sometimes its the best way to learn. I could tell her not to do something but if she really wants to do it, then there isn't much I can say.

This is a classic and definitely my favourite book every to read. Before Adriana was even born, the boyfriend and I made a point to get her some classic books to get her started. Every year we add to the collection of classics and make them accessible to her for reading whenever she wants. This particular book is a little higher up - its paperback - but every so often, I will take it down and read it to her. Just a few days ago, I was reading it and made it to the second last page before I broke out in tears. That's a new record!

I had a good chuckle when I read this! Always remember that those Mommies and Daddies who seem to be doing everything perfectly: well, they're not. They have bad days just like every other parent out there. Those are the moments of weakness and they don't share that with the public. Every parent wants other parents to think they are just the Super Mommy and/or Daddy of the Year! C'mon lets be realistic here; its just not possible. There are no ways to be PERFECT parent but there are a million ways to be a GOOD parent!

September is Here

I hate to burst everyone's bubble but September is here. You know what that means. Back to school for the kiddies of course but it also means Fall is just around the corner!! After such a wickedly hot and humid summer I'm actually looking forward to Fall. The crisp air, the leaves, my birthday (oops!) lol So I threw that one in there because its happening in exactly 1month today. Yikes! Of course I am probably one of the only people I know that still get excited for their birthday. Not because its this huge extravagant party celebrations filled with booze, dancing, gifts, etc. (i wish!) No, I get excited because I'm one of few friends that haven't hit the big 3-0 yet (sorry - not sorry). I don't mind celebrating my age! I have come a long way from the big celebratory ages of 19th and 21st birthdays - those days are gone but boy did I make them worth it! Now I'm a Mommy who just simply enjoys celebrating her birthday with her daughter, boyfriend and dog. I don't need anything crazy: just a card, some wine and company. Its nice when people just remember when its your birthday!

I know its been a little longer than normal since I wrote something. I'm sorry! Life gets busy, you know how it is. I am actually in a bit of transition period. With no work and a much harder time that I thought finding a new job again - I have looked at the option for returning to school on a full time basis. I will continue to take my online program but need to make a change bigger than just part time courses. I still have some things to smooth out before its official. Very excited about this actually!!

Little Miss Adriana is still in daycare and loves it! She has learned to say the other kids names and loves singing songs. She's getting so big too! I've been working on a cute little Fall wardrobe for her. Just need rain boots, umbrella and perhaps a pair of jeans. Can't wait for some great Fall pictures!!
Speaking of pictures: we had our family pictures done again. It's amazing how much we've changed in one year. I actually had the same pose of Adriana taken and compared them - wow!!

 Adriana went on her first camel ride! MuslimFest was happening so we went to walk around. When she saw the camel she actually called it a horse! But wasn't afraid at all to get on it for a ride. She was nervous of the height - thats why I held on to her the whole time!!

Helping Mommy make some Jello Chocolate Pudding. She was really good at stirring the mix but she didn't care to lick the spoon. Crazy!!

We have some great things coming up for our family. Some big changes, some great news to share, and some new goals to make. Although this is a scary time for us, it is really going to change things for the long term. I am a firm believer in keeping faith, especially when times are hard, and remembering to keep focused on the end results. It's never too late to make the necessary changes for your family - for yourself!

Creating Toddler Friendly Dinners

When your little one starts eating table food, its important to make sure its healthy choices! Remember "Monkey see, Monkey do" so if this hasn't been you lifestyle, you may want to look at adapting new healthy meals. This will encourage your child to eat their whole grains, protein, fruits and veggies! We had always ate fairly healthy - of course we ate McDonalds! but that didn't stop us from cooking real meals. We don't buy much junk food (i.e. chocolate chip cookies are a treat, chips are limited, freezies when required). Adriana's deserts consist of fruit and/or 1 chocolate chip cookie if she's good. Its not like we don't give her candy, we teach her moderation. I kept track of her meals for 1 week to give you an idea of balanced meals. We do have a pizza night which consists of meat and mushrooms as toppings.

SUNDAY - 1/2 striploin steak (medium rare), Asian medley mix (baby corn, peppers, zucchini, and snow peas), roasted potatoes. For desert: a bowl of strawberries and pineapples
MONDAY - 3/4 chicken breast (boneless, skinless), Italian medley (broccoli, carrots), cucumber slices. For desert: blueberries and raspberries
TUESDAY - Smart KD (veggie), Italian medley (broccoli, carrots), celery pieces. For desert: strawberries and pineapple
WEDNESDAY - sliced beef cooked in butter with pepper, lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumber. For desert: blueberries
THURSDAY - Pizza night. bacon, pepperoni and mushrooms with drinkable yogurt. For desert: sliced Grapefruit (a first for Adriana!)
FRIDAY -Smart Catelli pasta with meat sauce. I use Extra Lean ground beef and Ragu sauce (good serving of veggies!). For desert: 1 chocolate chip cookie with drinkable yogurt.

We make sure to give Adriana what we have for dinner. She is more inclined to eating it if she sees we all have the same thing. This includes all her veggies! Actually on Thursday night, I gave her a chocolate chip cookie after her grapefruit but she didn't even take one bite. It was a treat but she didn't want it so I will use that treat for the next night. She's a pretty good eater so when she doesn't want to finish her entire meal - that's ok. We do NOT give her something else!! This is a common mistake parents make but it really does more harm than good. This will only teach the child that if they don't want something they can refuse it and be given something they do want - this is how you create a picky eater! Adriana will have choices but more like would you want more veggies or more meat!

She is at the perfect age to start figuring out what she does and does not like. That's perfectly okay too! Adriana has pushed away her plate but I just put it to the side and wait. Sometimes she just needs some time to realize this is dinner and you're not getting anything else. We don't believe in catering to their every needs - Who's the boss anyways? The Parents should be. So teach them to be thankful for the food they have and enjoy a different variety of foods too!

Although, I don't like certain foods - I still make a point to give them to Adriana. For example, I absolutely despise cucumber, seafood, and grapefruit. However, Adriana loves all of them! We never made a big deal of what she was eating, just gave it to her and acted like it was a normal meal. After she ate it I would explain what it was and asked if she liked it. So far so good with everything! There are things she just doesn't care for too, like melons (cantaloupe, honey dew and watermelon) or bananas.....seriously - bananas. I am going to try a different way of giving them to her though. I found a recipe to fry the bananas in honey and add cinnamon. They make them crunchy and a bit sweet!

I hope Adriana stays a good eater for awhile. Not for the nutritional value but the experience. The ability to explore new foods is a talent in my eyes. I wish I was adventurous but where I lack the boyfriend makes up for it! He has a great appetite for new foods and I envy that. Clearly, Adriana is on the same path as him - Good Job!

We also had our family pictures done over the weekend. I can't wait to share them with you!! Adriana is such a photogenic little girl which makes our family pictures turn out amazing!! Thank you Sears Canada :)

Toddler Hair Craze, Learn to Relax

Its been a week since our trip and we're both still adjusting. I find that Adriana and I are sleeping more in order to get back on the same schedule. I need to sleep for a week straight if I could - I know Adriana could!

An update on Adriana's Toddler bed: So far she's been doing amazing!! We found her on the floor next to her bed with Cookie Monster twice. Both times she climbed out (not fall!) and laid down on the floor instead of back in the bed. No big deal - she loves her "big girl bed". She will tell people about her bed if they ask her about it. She seems proud to be at this stage :D I am a Happy Mommy.

OK. Am I the only Mommy that has some serious problems with their daughter's hair? I'm not just talking first thing in the morning either. Adriana has beautiful curls and sometimes they're just insane to tame! I've tried hair clips but she pulls them out, pony tails - pulls out, headbands - pulls off! I really don't want to cut her hair just yet. If I do, she will lose her curls for sure!! Any suggestions???

 Example of a good hair day for Adriana! She was taking pictures for Auntie Kim again

 Sliced Steak cooked in butter with pepper, sitting on a bed of lettuce and tomato with Ranch Dressing over top - DELICIOUS!!

 Adriana wearing her flower belt - she loved it!!

 $1 drinks at Mc Donald's - she was really thirsty!! ps. its iced tea NOT pop

She's all geared up for the Zoo in a few weeks! I got her this zoo hat last year when we took her and she never wore it until now - she must be excited lol

______________________________________

Sometimes you need to just sit back and Relax. Breathe. Think. Being a Mommy (or Daddy) can be a hard job. Probably the hardest job out there! But at the same time it can be the most rewarding. Throughout all my babysitting jobs, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. There wasn't anything that could change my mind. No matter the amount of dirty diapers, tantrums, tears, throw up, etc. I knew in my heart it was definitely something for me.

I have a lot of love for children, and now that I have one of my very own I really could not ask for anything more. I believe this was my calling all along. Adriana was planned but we never expected her personality to woo us over the way that it has. I still agree that babies change you: either for the better or for the worst. It is what you make it. Of course its not easy but you don't give up the first time he/she spits up on you, or cries, or throws a tantrum. That's all part of being a parent. It is just the not so glamorous part!

Take your time and remember they are learning too. Learn to have an abundance of patience stored away for those less appealing times and enjoy the good times as is. Learn to laugh more with your child, join in the goofiness of their ways, encourage independence and more importantly - LOVE. Love not just your child but your spouse and yourself. These are the people who make your day real. Don't worry about work - its work. Don't worry about society - its overrated anyways!!